"To know His ways more..." - a renewed perspective that i got today :)

Hmm... wonder how to start... feel so... intensely touched by what God is doing in my life... it's all about JESUS, really! Life is simply NOT big enough for Him... He is JUST too big for any life, ever! How big His heart! How... i can't express it enuff in words, the way He spoke to me thru so many words, from so many pple, from so many sources... thru His Holy Spirit... thru His Word... thru my brothers n sisters... thru the voice of Reason, the voice of Logic, the voice of many experiences...

His love is too deep to express sufficiently in words... Like the song goes, "There are no words / Good enough to thank You / There are no words to express my praise..."

Perhaps, one could take pause and agree with Wittgenstein in his Tractatus, who said that there are some things that simply cannot be expressed in words... and thus, one should just remind silent.

To just stand and behold the glory of God... just "Lost for words with all to say /
Lord you take my breath away / Still my soul, my soul cries out / For you are holy..."

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Think I'll just summarise what I've learnt from my reflections on the past few weeks... think God impressed on my heart during worship time today during service that He allows me to experience failures and disappointments, that He allows me to be weak and struggle with fears within and without... AND not just that, He POINTS out these failures to me in one way or another... especially my repeated failures, sins and stumbles...

Think my old response would have been to be very disappointed even more at my own failures and start falling into despair and self-pity. But thank God for my dear shepherd, Peter, who reminded me last year about distinguishing btwn worldly sorrow (bad sorrow) vs godly sorrow - that's good sorrow, and just as imptly, discerning WHEN I'm abt to fall into the trap of worldly sorrow...

Now I find myself more confident and alert this time around (esp during matriculation season when i find myself especially prone to negative thoughts and physical tiredness), bcos of what the Bible says abt this issue, in recognising and putting to death this worldly sorrow that i am so prone to. (I imagine myself using 2 Corinthians 7:10 like a bayonet, sticking it into the throat of the undead zombie of the old Yeu Ann, the sinful nature of mine... violent imagery, yes, but spiritual warfare is no less real than physical warfare.) Praise God for His Word, that is sharper than any sword, that helps me live the right (and victorious) way! :D

So what's the new perspective today that somehow struck me during service? That God is using all these "mini-trials" where i face up to my own weaknesses, personal and character failings, and external difficulties and frustrations, NOT to 'tekan' me, BUT to TRAIN me and show me more abt the true myself... AND to show me what I need to change in... all these trials, testings and temptations are an integral part of His shaping of my character, personality, lifestyle, dreams, hopes, manhood and future fatherhood and God knows what else. :)

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And you know what? After I came back from service, I just now flipped open this book by John Ortberg ("The Life You've Always Wanted"), and surprise! The pages that I first set my eyes upon were:

Start with Small Trials
To be formed and transformed through trials, the place to start is with little ordeals. The place is when "all kinds of trials and temptations" crowd into our lives, as the Phillips version expresses James 1:2.

Often I am humbled by my failure to endure even the smallest trials...

[...]

Life is filled with minitrials. When someone interrupts me, I can learn to graciously hold my tongue. When my co-worker borrows something and doesn't return it immediately, I can learn patience. When I have a headache, I can discover that it is possible to suffer and not tell everybody about it. As simple as it sounds, the place to start being formed by trials is with the mini variety.

But we need to add persistence for the large trials. Perhaps you need to identify the greates challenge of your life right now, or a dilemma you are about ready to give up on. Make a commitment that you are going to relentlessly persevere in prayer.

Perhaps the challenge is relational. Is someone you love far from God and you have about given up hope? Is it a pattern of sin in your life that you haven't been able to break and you feel as if you will be in its grip forever? Is it a new habit you would do well to cultivate? Is it a family rupture that has been going on for years?

Are we on the road to Moriah? Surely we will experience suffering of one sort or another. Yet the question remains: How will we run the race? Will we finish well? Will we keep the faith?

We do not accomplish this from sheer strength of will. The reason we can trust God is that he understands what it is to walk in darkness. One message of the Cross is that God chooses not to stand apart from our suffering. He is not unmoved by the pain of the creatures he loves. He embraces that pain and suffers with us. Karl Barth wrote that God would rather be unblessed with his creatures than to be the blessed God of unblessed creatures.

[NB: i really wasn't thinking of looking for a message from God by random flipping - that's not usually how God wants to speak to us, unless He confirms it thru the Bible and other means.]

I'm super-touched, not only bcos He is working in my life, but also bcos, in a small way, today, I've managed to (or rather, He let me) catch a glimpse of His super-big heart, His ways of dealing with men... And I tell you, nothing is as thrilling as seeing God's very own character, and knowing a little more about how He behaves... how He feels for us... how He loves... how He hates... how He JUST is!

He JUST simply is A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!

Yup, I REALLY want to know God's ways better... to love Him more each day... to listen to His gentle voice and His mighty heartbeat that roars at the world's injustices, that throbs with pain for the lost, and that sings with joy every time a sinner comes to Him to be saved... that I may share His very own heartbeat too... that my heart may more and more beat together with His mighty heart of hearts.

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No wonder Moses asked God, "If you are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you... Now show me your glory."

And what the Lord replied to Moses: "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

And Moses did indeed get to see God's glory with his own eyes... even though it was just a little bit... it's just the "demo version" of what God's very own character is like! :D

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Thinking... some practical things that I think He wants me to change in...
Firstly, after a series of 3 consecutive experiences in which some ppl said to me that the advice that I share with some ppl, yes I've got good intentions, but they need time to be alone / not in a very receptive mood / filled to the brim and need to have time... I realised that what I'm doing is not right... not that the advice is wrong... but what they need more is a fuller understanding of their situation... time to be alone... where just keeping an open ear to listen to their feelings (and definitely not preaching!) is much, much, much more ministering...

Think the Spirit put this verse (1 Cor 8:1b) in my mind as an additional agreement... "Knowledge [as in my own knowledge and opinions of what they should do) puffs up, but love builds up." It really struck me there, bcos i realised that yah, i've been so full of how much i know, and how many opinions i have of things... that i have neglected the importance of loving the other person.

How important listening is! James 1:19-20 (which i heard in today's sermon by Jasmine) says (which I heard during sermon today): "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." It spoke to me not only in the area of understanding ppl, but also in the area of self-control and anger.

'Cos I was worried about having my temper grow out of control... bcos actually, i tend to get very agitated every time a particular someone loses his temper and starts shouting at me over the phone when he has problems with the computer or printer. i know he's frustrated bcos he has deadlines to rush, but i keep finding it very hard to keep my cool and stay controlled. in fact i started scolding him over the phone to keep quiet (sometimes i use the words, "SHUT UP!") and let me do the asking of questions instead. (It really isn't easy to be a tech support guy when the other person on the phone is screaming at you.)

I feel very troubled everytime this person calls me for tech support, because I really find it very hard to control my temper and stay calm while trying to figure out what is wrong with the computer / printer / God knows what else over the phone AND solve it on the spot.

So i was praying to God today how can i overcome this temper problem? i really don't want to be a captive to my temper, i want to please God, to exercise greater self-control even when i'm mentally tired, emotionally exhausted and angry. I said to God that I'm really afraid because if this temper of mine is not kept under control, i may go on to do even worse things in future. Yah, i know, some pple have said that I'm a patient guy... that IS a miracle from Jesus! Because by nature, I am DEFINITELY NOT a patient person at all. So any patience that you see in me is solely a result of what Jesus has done in my life ever since i asked Him to come into my life.

So i'm very touched also because today's passage was from Ephesians 4... and one of the verses that Jasmine spoke about was this: "'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

Praise God! :D it's really so sweet of how He hears my prayer and answers it in such an exact way... thru that sermon, God pointed out James 1:19-20 to me, which answered my prayer, "How can i control and overcome my temper problem?" Jasmine highlighted these key words in this verse: "Everyone should be quick to listen, sl-o-o-o-w to speak and sl-o-o-o-w to become angry..."

So realised the cure for this temper problem is stated very clearly in James 1:19-20... "be QUICK! to listen! SLOOOOOOOOOW to speeeeeeeaaaaaaaak... and slooooooooooooooooooooow to become angrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee." Hahaha... really very touched by how God really can speak into my life when I really ask Him for advice and help.

I'm determined to put these reflections into practice NOW. Because James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says."

A visual analogy i use to help me understand the power of putting reflections and understandings into practice is like soldiers who conduct daily raids on the enemy's strongholds and trenches... even though these may not be as dramatic as en-masse charges (i.e. one big-time concerted all-out effort to have a massive breakthru in some area of my life), they can be no less powerful and effective in achieving breakthrus. Little by little... we're taking ground... every prayer a powerful weapon; strongholds down, tumbling down and dOwN and DOWN! Just like what I happened to glance at another Christian reading next to me on the MRT - it was on overcoming struggles with sins and strongholds in one's life... to paraphrase, "Often the battle against the devil requires that one battle doggedly and determinedly, taking ground little by little."

Amen! Our God is a GOOD and GREAT GOD! :D

Faithfulness and Obedience

Hmm... just finished sending some emails that I'd promised to send a few days ago. Felt quite guilty for procrastinating, but I remember what the Bible says about worldly sorrow versus godly sorrow.

Hmm...

Think the past few days, I've been starting to feel increasingly 'sian' and discouraged in my calling people up for the upcoming Alpha programme. And ironically, it's after a series of very encouraging calls - the freshmen are generally responsive, I'm getting to know them better, etc. etc...

But the negative feelings have been starting to flood in again - feelings of discouragement, 'sian'-ness, and when i start procrastinating because of the sian-ness, i start feeling guilty all over again.

But you know, really gotta thank God for His preparation beforehand... what Wenjiang taught during the Uni District camp about putting on the spiritual armour of God, esp the belt of truth - we choose to obey the truth, not our feelings - and the shield of faith. Also Peter told me to pray to God for increasing awareness of my sins - not just when i have sinned, but especially when I am going to sin. To be watchful and alert, like a soldier carefully scanning the jungle before him to make sure he doesn't get ambushed by the enemy, especially those classic traps that any soldier worth his salt should be so familiar with...

Or to put in DOTA terms, it's one thing to make a noob mistake... but it's TOTALLY another thing to make the same noob mistake time after time...

So what does this entry's title have to do with the contents?

Well, just sharing... been reflecting... putting the pieces together about what God has been showing me in His Word the past week... experiences, sharings, "coincidences", etc. etc.... think God is telling me that what I'm experiencing at the moment is a good time to push myself to grow in faithfulness and obedience to God.

Commitment to Christ. What a wonder...









Think have been feeling increasingly sian, but praying that God will protect me. Father, help me, I really want to please You. I keep struggling in the face of my discouragements and negative thoughts, but I know that no matter what, You are the same yesterday, today and forever.

Lord, I'm really feeling quite strung-out and a bit weary. But keep my heart going on for You... remind me ofwhat You have done for me on the cross. I don't want this to be just a religious activity - You know that I really feel like ... just feel quite... intense inside.

Just as I am, though tossed about
With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fighting within and fears without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come...

Yeah, Papa... I guess it's not been easy to pen down just exactly what is in my heart. Yet, i'm really grateful to You, Lord... that You have been encouraging me through Your words and Your precious promises... it assures my heart to knwo that I'm not alone through this time.

Ha, hope You like my entry, God... i guess this is hopefully another step, breakthrough in becoming more real with You, with my feelings and thoughts.

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind;
Sight, riches, healing of the mind,
Yea, all I need in Thee to find,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come...

Hmm... guess I feel really masculine, actually, as I write this entry... it's nice to know that, despite all my attempts, my emotions don't really flow out as easily as I would want it to be... and I think that's a good thing, in a way.

Perhaps it's because I'm learning to be stronger emotionally, at least, by the grace of God, more emotionally mature than last time. I guess, to be able to speak frankly what's on my mind and my heart without being emotional - to be like You, Jesus, full of emotions, but not emotional (as in being affected easily by emotions).

Ha, thanks for listening, God. I guess it really helps just to be able to write something to You... thanks for being with me always, just as You have already said. Really want to be more and more secure in what You've promised in Your words. And You know how I love beautiful words. And there are none as beautiful as Yours, Daddy.

In Jesus' most precious name,
Amen.

A testimony of testimonies

Very encouraged indeed... We had CG, and Joyce shared not one, but two wonderful testimonies... her testimonies really was so encouraging! And after CG, Yufen, Bowen and I were on our way back, waiting for the MRT, when an old friend from JC, Shaowei, appeared. He's an extremely intelligent guy, on a scholarship, a Maths "god". :) I chatted with him, and found out that he accepted Christ 5 years ago, during his NS days. Before that, he was an atheist.

So I asked him, "How did you become a Christian?"

He replied, "Through a dream." He went on to describe how God helped him see his need for Him, and after he asked Jesus into his life, he prayed on a Saturday, "Jesus, I believe in You, but I really don't know much about You. Can you tell me more about Yourself?"

The next Monday, an army Christian friend of his passed him a book on Christianity. (If I remember Shaowei's words correctly, it's "Questions of Life: A Practical Introduction to the Christian Faith" by Nicky Gumbel, founder of the Alpha Programme.) This Christian friend told Shaowei that he was walking with his girlfriend on Saturday, and then suddenly, his girlfriend said that she felt at that moment like buying a particular book - the very book that Shaowei was holding 2 days later. You figure the rest of the story...

When I heard this, I was, like, so amazed and encouraged! :D Wow... Shaowei said to YF, Bo and me that a lot of people must have been praying for him. He said that some Christian friend had tried to debate with him before, but he wasn't convinced. But what argument alone could not do, the power of God was more than enough to save him - not through wise and persuasive words, but with a simple dream.

So something I was refreshed and reminded of after that meeting with Shaowei, was how SO essential prayer is when we are telling others about Jesus. We can share and share till the cows come home, but if we don't have God's help, the guy can't know God. Like Jesus said, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him." And Paul said that "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow."

So want to encourage you guys, if you're Christian and sharing the Gospel with someone for a long time, take heart! :D Pray, pray and pray... because nothing is impossible for God!

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Thinking about it... what makes a testimony really so wonderful? And why is the Christian faith so full of testimonies? As the apostle Paul wrote to Philemon, "I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith..."

Think the answer can be summed up in one word: God.

Somehow, think the most amazing and encouraging testimonies are those where we hear of coincidences that are... simply so timely, so statistically improbable, that... they can't be coincidences. It's way too beyond the 99% confidence interval test; it passes the t-test with flying colours; it flattens the null hypothesis left, right and centre. It's those times, in the most improbable of situations, that Jesus shows Who's The Boss, and prove yet once again, why He pwns the entire game. :)

Because, at the end of the day, it's all about what Jesus has done! Nothing about me. Everything about Him! It's really super-thrilling to hear, every single time, to hear of what God has done, especially when things work out in such an improbable and wonderful way that the whole thing shouts "JESUS WAS HERE!!!"

Amen! :D

About the recent District Camp... (part II)

Oh yes... want to write about the nite walk.

It was long. It was tiring. But it was good.

Very good.

Very very good.

Very incredibly good.

Incredibly incredibly good.

Incredibly extraordinarily amazingly good.

Haha... ok, more seriously, really treasure that time. There's a lot more to reflect about myself during the camp... the dark part of the walk esp spoke to me, and the uncertainty of the destination ("Eh, where are we heading???") itself was an object lesson to me...

Maybe I'll write this down another time, if ever. :)

About the recent District Camp...

Hmm, keep on wanting to blog about it from time to time... but in the end, for what purpose would I be blogging? Personally think it's better to keep and treasure what I've learnt in my heart and put it into practice... I want to bear fruit with what I've learnt!

Still, really (I mean it) thank God for this camp. This camp has been one of the sweetest times of fellowship that I've experienced in my whole life, honestly... I especially treasure the fellowship that we had on the 2nd nite of camp, when we were all sharing about our camp objectives, and when one of the bros was asking about Holy Spirit baptism, and how all the other bros n sisters encouraged him with testimonies...

Something that struck me as very real was that I was really seeing the Body of Christ in action. "The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body." It struck me, how different each person's testimony and sharing was, and yet on a higher scale, when you take a step back and look at the theme, all our different testimonies were so united - how God touched our lives, how He helped us experience the baptism of the Holy Spirit... how He spoke to us in different ways...

I marvel indeed at the wonder of the Body of Christ. It's something that only God Himself can do - to unite many very different people of different cultures into one united body! :D

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On a more personal note, I made 3 objectives before going for the camp. The first one was to ask God for directions for my life, 'cos I'm graduating at the end of this year. And secondly, to ask Him to deepen my convictions, and thirdly, to deepen the time of fellowship, that I may know my bros n sisters in my CG better.

He answered my prayers, every one of them! :D

For directions for my life and ministry, during worship, He spoke to me 2 phrases: "I've placed you here exactly where I want you to be." and another, "A servant heart." These two phrases helped to clear the fear in my heart. Could really sense His assurance upon me at this point in time.

And for deepening of convictions, Ps Jeff's preaching and Claramae's teaching really stirred up my heart... somehow, I felt the fire of God in my heart being stoked up once again after so long... somehow I think Jesus was speaking very clearly to me and pointing me in the right direction, reminding me to keep my desire for God central.

And for fellowship, ha, amazing... I really saw the Body of Christ so powerfully in action that night... when a diverse and disparate group of people were united as one in Christ when we shared that night.

Praise God for His mighty works;
Praise Him in His sanctuary;
Praise Him for His awesome power;
Praise Him for His amazing grace!

Got a new computer!

Dell Intel Core Duo 2.8 GHz with 1 GB DDR2 500+MHZ RAM, 128 ATI graphics card with HyperMemory technology, 160GB HDD... etc. etc

Ah my inner geek is contented.... thank God! :D

Haha... and would you believe it if I told you I was playing Minesweeper on that system? (Lame!)

And that no matter how fast the system, I still only manage to score 27s for Beginner level? (Lamer!)

Haha... anyway, very thankful to God for this new system... hope it blesses my family much more now. And can do my multimedia jobs faster now.

Be joyful always!

Hmm, want to thank God for His love and grace to me... He prepared me beforehand the disappointment that He'd knew I'd face when seeing my results today.

Yep, you guessed it - my results weren't good, honestly. All my grades were below expectations. But praise Daddy indeed - He knows exactly my fears, my struggles and my desires - and He carries me through! Very touched, because He knows my love language - words - and yesterday, He caused me to read through not one, but TWO articles on crosswalk.com - one of them on what if you had many plans, but God suddenly ("suddenly" as from your perspective) called you to a totally different route? and the other one being dealing with disappointment - disappointment can actually be a good thing, because it cause you to look upwards.

And He gave me not one, but TWO Bible verses to steady my heart and encourage me.
The first one was during my QT today: "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." And the second one was this verse that I happened to see just before I checked my results: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

aMeN! So I am encouraged, simply because I know that God Himself allowed this to happen, and if in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose, and if God has let this thing happen to me, then by logical deduction, we can deduce that even in this disappointment, God is already working for my good, because He loves me and has a wonderful plan for me. aMeN! Praise God...

"Though I may not understand / All the plans You have for me / My life is in Your hands / And through the eyes of faith I can clearly see...

That His love is everlasting,
And His mercies,
They will never end!!!

God is good, all the time!
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine
God is good, all the time!
Through the darkest night
His light will shine..."

Super-touched... that's why I'm not as disappointed as I could have been... mainly because God prepared me beforehand with the precious promise of His presence and His words of encouragement. So even in the face of this disappointment, I know that it was already foreseen by Him, even before time began, and even my poor grades, and the broken me, are all in His hands, crafted into His perfect plans. This is, from His eyes, and through the eyes of faith, only a small infinitesimal drop in the sheer magnitude of His perfect plan to redeem all humanity.

Yup, am reminded of Wenjiang's teaching on prayer during the uni district camp about the "Spiritual Armour" prayer... to take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one (e.g. discouragement, negative thoughts, doubts, fears, etc...), take up the sword of the Spirit (ie. the word of God) e.g. the Bible verses that remind me to trust God's heart no matter what happen, and to pray in the Spirit... which I really need, because on my own, I can't stand, unless He helps me to stand firm.

So I've got one more semester... I've done the calculations... it is possible for me to get Honours, but I'll have to really push very hard. Honestly, feel a bit afraid, but let that draw me closer to Jesus and hold His hand even tighter as we walk together through the last semester. Even now the winter is passing, even now spring is coming. O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever! :D

Woods

Isn't it a coincidence that I was thinking of two separate things, among many things, that I wanted to write down in this entry, and they both talk about woods?

Yes, woods as in forest, etc. etc. Not wood as in Woodbridge, as in "referee kayu"... :P

Seriously, have been very busy these few weeks with helping do publicity clips for multimedia... and seriously, nothing feels so shiok as sensing Jesus' affirmation in your heart when you give your best to serve Him... :) "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

About writing down these reflections and connect-the-dots, I think not yet; I still have many things to complete first before I can write down what I think God has been doing in my life these past three weeks.

As Frost expressed it so beautifully in his poem,
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

Praise Jesus. What a wonderful friend I have in Him. :D

Troubled in spirit

Wow! Another miracle... praise God! :D He is so sweet, as always.

Hm... just had finished writing an encouragement card for Sijia and was about to get up and look for her, when she came into the classroom looking for me! :D

'cos she had bought a Kitkat for me... LOL we both laughed and she said, "God connected our hearts together."

aMeN! :)

Then she asked me, "Are you all right? You seem a bit troubled by something..."

Was a bit surprised... then thought abt it... yeah, it's true, but I can't exactly put my finger on it why i feel a bit troubled. So told her that, and she thought abt it for a bit. Then she said, "Hmm... maybe you can pray more to God about this..."

Hmm... yes I'll pray to You Lord abt this... Jer 33:3... i dun quite know what exactly is this that makes me feel a bit troubled in spirit. could it be the same thing what i had shared with Robert about a few days ago? Lord, i'm not sure... but tell me pls...

Love You, Lord.

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I remember this verse where Jesus spoke abt being troubled in spirit too... wonder if it's speaking to me here?

John 12:27-28a:

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

Have bolded the parts that seem to speak to me especially... wonder if God is trying to tell me something? God I want to hear from You...

Gospel of Judas - a well-written essay

Hmm! Came across this article: http://shangjun.blogspot.com/2006/04/gospel-of-judas-response.html

Think it's very well-written, complete wif reference lists. From what I've read in that essay, it's most likely written to other Christians.

Still, think this part I read is useful for everyone in general who has questions abt the authenticity of the canonicity of the Christian Bible, which in simpler English means, "The guys who put the Bible together - did they just anyhow whack or can trust what they did?"

As I have previously shared, there was stringent criteria used to decide which books should be included in the canon. Norman Geisler and Nix present the principles as follows (Geisler/Nix, GIB, 223-231):

1) Was the book written by a prophet of God? If it was written by a spokesman of God, then it was from God.

2) Was the writer confirmed by acts of God? Frequently, miracles separated the true prophets from the false ones. E.g. Moses, Isaiah etc.

3) Did the message tell the truth about God? God cannot contradict himself. Maccabees in the Catholic apocrypha pushes the doctrine of purgatory, but nowhere else in the scriptures is purgatory supported or even mentioned.

4) Does it come with the power of God? If the message of the book did not achieve its stated goal, and did not have the power to change a life, then God was apparently not behind its message.

5) Was it accepted by the people of God? Paul’s letters were widely read in the Churches then. When a book was received, read, collected and used by the people of God as the Word of God, it was regarded as canonical.

Incidentally came across a very nicely-done pamphlet espousing the Book of Mormon (which the Mormons put on equal par wif the Bible). Was discussing abt it wif Mich, and she commented that we need to consider why we say that the Book of Mormons is not true as compared to the Christian Bible...

And I'll add, ditto for other scriptures of other religions e.g. the Koran, the Buddhist scriptures, the Vedas, etc...

So why do I believe the Bible is true?
Hmm! interesting question... i'll think abt it more and write down next time. It's good to understand why we believe what we believe, 'cos reason is a crucial part of the Christian faith.

I just remembered this part of the Bible... in this letter, the apostle Peter himself answered this very question abt the reality of Christ [and affirms the divine authority of the letters written by his co-worker, Paul]. (Whoa, the Bible really got the answer to any qn tt u can throw at it!)

"So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

We did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty. For he received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." We ourselves heard this voice that came from heaven when we were with him on the sacred mountain.

And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit."

(2 Peter 1)

And later on in his letter, he defends the Scriptural authority of Paul's letter:

"Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction."

(2 Peter 3)

There are other factors to consider though, the authenticity of Peter's letter itself... (a) was it really written by the apostle Peter himself, and (b) how do we know that even if it was written by Peter himself, that 2 Peter is Scripture too?

Think i'll answer it this way:
a. Well, yes, there are some scholarly concerns e.g. the writing style of 2 Peter is slightly different from 1 Peter (the Greek of 2 Peter is more refined). But a reasonable explanation can be given for the possiblity that Peter may have used a (more educated) scribe to write 2 Peter, as compared to 1 Peter which was most likely written by Peter himself (in his 'rougher' style).
b. Check the above guidelines for canonicity...



But more than that... simply put, truth is truth, and you wouldn't need a set of guidelines to tell you explicity what truth is... simply because truth has the power to impact lives whether you believe it or not. For instance, a lot of books say that taking revenge in your own hands instead of waiting for justice is wrong and has devastating consequences. Now there are other books that claim the opposite.

Put these 2 opposing claims to the test... see what are the consequences of taking revenge, and decide which claim is true.

So along the same line, I'll add that even though we use guidelines, etc. to help us determine the truth of Scriptures...the million dollar question would be: what are the effects of living out those texts that you choose to believe in?

I'll quote from my friend's blog - like it a lot.

To those non-Christians reading this blog.. if we were to debate about the reality of Christ; just like any other debate, the one who wins is the one who goes in more prepared, who speaks better, who knows all the subtle tricks of argumentation (yes, it's true) , and the one who is able to command a greater presence in the discussion. The person who brought me to know Christ was a master at this.. and for the better part of a year I had to rely on these human arguments to prop up my faith.

Talk is one thing though. A person can leave the debating table defeated, but still unconvinced. I could win a debate with a "untrained" free-thinker, but what good does it do if I just focus on the arguments? Christianity is anything but sophistry. The more important thing that Christians can bring to the table, the biggest trump card, is the fact that God changes lives, and for the better. Various schools of moral philosophy, be it utilitarism, moral relativism or whatever you might mention - does not teach you how to live a rich and meaningful life. Christianity does. And that visible change is the thing that really draws people to God. All the arguments for God aren't worth a single penny compared to the power of a transformed life.

And the best part? You don't need to read philosophical tracts to be a Christian. You don't need an IQ of 140 to be a Christian. You don't need a net worth of a million dollars to be a Christian. Philosophy which requires an thinking mind, and induces headaches nonetheless. Christianity only requires that you believe, and you live it out. That's all.

In fact, God's existence is a fact that transcends other facts. I think if scientists say that "Oh, we've got it wrong all this while, actually Pi = 4" or "F actually is 0.9(ma)", or something along that lines.. well, it wouldn't really bother me. But God's existence is a fact that transcends all other facts, because not only it is a intellectual truth, but a emotional truth as well.

Christianity is not just about the visible outward signs - I dare say that church going, attending cell groups and all that is the lesser component of a Christian life. The far greater, and the far most precious part, is that fact the Christ changes lives, for the better.

God really has changed mine, hope you will experience it too one day..

Yup... really agree. 'cos to be honest, i also was a skeptic too. But there's this verse in the Bible that says very clearly: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation - the old has gone; the new has come!"

When i see what Christ has done in my life, and the many many signs and wonders - honestly, some of these signs and wonders really stun me - that God has so wonderfully done in my life... (of all lives, mine???? wow... He really got such a super-big heart for even small shrimps like me! :D :D :D!) Yes! ONLY Jesus can change HEARTS and ONLY He is the Saviour! When you have "Ah Longs" (loansharks aka tax collectors), prostitutes, murderers, brutal concentration camp guards, proud religious men, witch doctors, cannibals etc. turning to Jesus... whoa...... you see their lives... their hearts... even their very faces, eyes and physical appearances change for the better!

I know... I've myself seen the very transformation happening in these people's lives - others and my own too... i really have seen this wif my own eyes n i tell you the Good News of Jesus Christ is really true! Frankly, no religion or philosophy or self-improvement values etc... can change that hardest-of-all-things-to-change... the heart. Only God Himself can change that hopeless heart that keep doing hopeless things with a hopeless life and hopeless future ahead. Only God can save us from ourselves!

For surely there IS A GOD who loves us and has come to save us from this shit that we are all in - we all got ourselves into this deep shit, but Christ came to save us from it all... and He died for you and me... and best of all, He rose from the dead, appeared to over 500 EYEwitnesses... and told them to go tell the world about Him, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have life eternal!



So come, taste and see that the Lord is good! You'll like Him! :)

The Five Love Languages

Took this quiz... yup, it's true, words really are my primary love language n i love to be hugged too! How abt you? Do take time to try out tis quiz... :)

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		12
Physical Touch:		8
Quality Time:		7
Receiving Gifts:		2
Acts of Service:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

A piece of Singaporean history: Who still remembers Teleview?

Was doing some reading on videotex systems for my Communications and New Media term paper, when I remembered Teleview... used it for a short while in 1995, when I was in Sec 2... (Whoa!That's more than 10 years ago... :)). Then the Internet came along, and I had to use a text-based browser to surf the net...

Yes, you read it right, it was text-based ONLY... gosh, think I really can tell my grand-children in future, "When I was your age, all our browsers were TEXT-only!!!" (and thump the floor with my walking stick for emphasis).

(Incidentally, the text-based browser (it's called Lynx) is still available, and pretty snappy to use too, though the mystical world of black-and-white text can be a bit disorientating for us non-geeks who've been dwelling in the wonderful world of Oz-like 24-bit colours of graphical browsers...)

So does anyone still remember that info-text system that we Singaporeans used back so long ago? :)

Oh Teleview, we hardly knew ye...

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Had felt melancholic n quite ... just really feel that "paralysing" sense of gloominess. HYP, feelings of disappointment, guilt, etc. etc. Same things around again.

But praise God, He heard my cry for mercy... love Him so much. He reminded me of this verse:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved
us."

And the old demons went away. Surely the word of God is so powerful. Medicine for the soul, food for the hungry, water to the thirsty, honey to the bitter in spirit.

I'm glad that He has helped me breakthrough in some areas. Longing to share them with someone else, but think the time hasn't come yet. Wait for the Lord, be still and wait patiently for the Lord.

T3: The Greatest Action Story Ever Told!

Alamak... this one is SUPER lame... can't stop laughing...

The Terminator and Jesus

Really like the last part... The Terminator says about Jesus, "Don't worry... He'll be back!"

He takes joy in me.

Decided to pray just now...
Prayed to God to help me understand why I'm not growing (i may be, but i really feel v uncertain if i am...)... then these words came to mind:
"trust"
"peace"
"the joy of the Lord is your strength"
"find joy in Me."
"[Jesus] Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
"[Jesus] I have come, that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Think Peter's advice is timely too... "Just enjoy [the HYP] while you're at it. Trust God."

touched... really feel so unworthy of His sheer love... yet He loves me so intensely...

wept just now, poured out to Him my feelings of frustration n overwhelmingness, bcos the psalmist says, "pour out your soul to Him, for God is our refuge..."

then feel very touched, think He told me that He takes joy in me.

Wow... take joy in me... wow...
really really very touched. :D

Things that God pointed out to me during my reflection on today's experience:
1. I'm a very UNRELIABLE person. E.g. I told my supervisor that I'd be in by 1130 to demo my project, but I overslept and reached only at 230. It's not so much how my sup reacts, but rather how he'll see this unreliability issue - which has serious consequences for the working world.

2. I'm a very DWELLING person. RF and Flince had told me before, don't keep on dwelling... and lots of other ppl too, in the form of "Guard your heart". I agree... I'm really a person who keeps on dwelling, and when pple tell me that I'm dwelling or warn me not to dwell, I start dwelling on the fact that I've dwelled or am going to dwell!

Gosh... think the Spirit put this verse in my mind:
Psalm 37:8b "...do not fret—it leads only to evil."

Wow, His word is incredibly precise. He knows I love to fret.

Oh, here's another translation (from the New Living Translation):
Stop your anger!
Turn from your rage!
Do not envy others--
it only leads to harm.

Hey... yeah, that is very true of me too.

3. However, feel very touched - I believe He affirmed me for my cheerful spirit during CG time - and doubly touching when I saw how He'd arranged for me to HAVE to leave the lab so that I'd be in time to join my dear CG for jogging. :D
Super-refreshing... Yeah! :D Want to go and have a cheerful spirit - it really brings joy to other ppl, and also helps communicate Christ's joy to them too. :D

4. Something I learnt experientially about God's affirmation - which is true affirmation: True affirmation has the effect of making the affirmee want to do the good thing even more - especially because the affirmee has the affirmation what he/she is doing is GOOD in GOD's eyes.

What a day! :)

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include overnite.h
#include milo.h
#include assignments.h
#include hurry_your_project.h
#include mugging.h
#include stress.h
#include fellow_mugger.h
#include God_is_good.h
#include brothers_sisters.h
#include Word_of_God.h

typedef HOURS int;

const HOURS ONE_WHOLE_FUN_DAY = 24;

char* stuff_to_do[MAX_INTEGER];

HUMAN yeuann = new struct *CHILD_OF_GOD[EPHESIANS_1_3];

main(void) {
  printf("Hello world.\n");
  printf("

  for (HOURS time = 0; time < ONE_WHOLE_FUN_DAY; time++) {
    if (yeuann->isAwake == false) {
      clock.alarm.status.on = true;
      clock.activate();
    }

    if (yeuann->hungryStatus == true && (yeuann->pocketMoney > 0)) {
      yeuann->pocketMoney--;
      printf("It's feeding time!!!\n");
      while (yeuann->hungryStatus) {
        eat();
      }
    }

    caregroup.fellowship(yeuann);

    meet(hongtao);
    meet(robert);
    meet(marcus);
    meet(calyn);
    meet(nich);
    meet(mich);

    isEncouraged(true);

    if (yeuann->isRefreshed) {
      printf("Praise God!\n");
      yeuann.smile();
    }

    time+=3;

    go(lecture(NUS.LT34));

    while (lecturer.lecturing() == true) {
      yeuann.keep_eyes(open);
    }

    exit(lecture());

    meet(alan);
    meet(sijia);
    yeuann.smile(2.0);

    assignment(program());

    HYP.status == still_not_complete;

    rush_on == true;

    yeuann.onHowDoISolveThisStupidProgrammingBug(recall(JAMES_1_5));

    time = ONE_DAY - 1;

    meet(qiaoping);

    chat(qiaoping);

    veryEncouraged == true;

    time++;

    blog();

    printf("This must be the most \'wuliao\' blog entry I\'ve ever written.\n");
    printf("Looks like I\'ve been doing too many programming assignments this week. :)");
  }

  thanksgiving_status = GOD_IS_GOOD + ALL_THE_TIME;

  return thanksgiving_status;
}

This is what a Honda feels like

A choir performing a rendition of a Honda Civic... simply brilliant!

Forgiveness, therefore there is hope.

Memories, lots and lots and lost lots of them, have been coming to my mind bit by bit today. Felt overwhelmed by my past sins, until this verse (it must be God) came to mind:

"If You, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness,
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in His word I put my hope."

He reminded me that He has forgiven me ALL my sins, and when I recalled that, I really don't want to sin against Jesus anymore.

Because I really don't want to hurt the God whose I am and who loves me.

The difference between C++ and Java...

Say we create an array, and go out of bounds while accessing the array.

Java whines, "Massss-terrrr.... ArrayIndexOutOfBounds exception..."

But C++ spits: "Unhandled exception at 0x00402b1e in ImgSim.exe: 0xC0000005: Access violation reading location 0xabababb3."

No wonder C++ programmers eat Java 'grammers for lunch any day...

Just to share a little something...

Really want to share this testimony of God's goodness to me and how He has answered my prayer just now:

Was feeling terribly guilty about the things tt i felt i really failed God during today. So shared them with God, and i remember i kept telling Him, "I really don't know, I really don't know..." as in, "God, why did You let this be? Why am I so weak? Why can't I serve You better? Why can't I be a more effective servant?"

Really wanted some comfort at that point, and was waiting for His reply. No reply, but just recalled some Bible verses, and think He also wanted me to go take my bath first. (Just as well... I had just come back from playing basketball and was stinking to high heaven. I'm not joking...)

So went off, and then since I had to go to the loo, I decided to take a book by John Ortberg to read. Read it, and wow, really thank God, realised He was answering my prayer for a word from Him. Read this chapter on "Appropriate Smallness: The Practice of Servanthood", and realised tt He was pointing out a LOT of things to me that I had done today, through the points that Ortberg was writing about in that book.

From his book:

Humility, if ever we could grow into it, would not be a burden. It would be an immense gift. Humility is the freedom to stop trying to be what we're not, or pretending to be what we're not, and accepting our "appropriate smallness." In Luther's words, humility is the decision to "let God be God."

And read this part from a story about the 2 founders of Alcoholic Anonymous:

Bill W knew that it was not because he was strong and Dr. Bob was weak that he was able to help Dr. Bob. Bill W could help because he was weak, and in helping, he received strength...

Like Bill W, we have to realize that we are not Superpeople or messiahs. We must embrace limitations. That is whence strength comes. God is not chewing his fingernails over whether or not we can save alcoholics.

We must minister out of weakness. The reason we help others is not because we are strong and they need us; it is because if we don't help them, we will end up a hopeless relic.

Wow... found this very meaningful. Think this helped me gain a new perspective, personally, on why I share my testimonies... because I know that if I don't, i WILL forget what God has done for me, and become very melancholic and negative. I share, not because I'm better, but rather, because I'm weak and I need to share to myself too the very testimony that I'm sharing with the rest of you.

Some key things thus learnt from this experience:
1. I realised some "trigger points" for my feelings of guilt - among them are the lack of approval from others (perceived or real).

2. Realised tt I was falling into the same trap again, trying to live up to my own standards of goodness instead of pursuing Christ's standards (which is way, way up high in the sky).

3. Realised my pride, and unwilling response to God when He wants to help me see my sins, faults and mistakes to me. Realised that my response isn't a sweet spirit that really thanks Him for pointing out to me, but rather a grouchy spirit that says, I'll repent if You stop pointing out to me this area of my life.
4. Reminded again that God is super-patient with me, and that very, very rarely does He shout at me, but rather, His Spirit when He speaks to me is VERY patient and gentle. I was expecting Him to scold me very harshly or sharply... (yeah, He can do that too), but instead, He chose to speak very gently and encouragingly through that book i read.

Wow... I really have A LOT to learn from His Spirit... He is "slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness..." So much different as compared to the way i very often speak to others...

5. Reminded again that God can answer my prayers in other ways besides the one that I was expecting. =) God is wise!

6. Books are like friends: Reading a good book is like being with a good friend. =) Thought about it - it makes a lot of sense. Logical conclusion: Be aware of the company of books that I read... if I hang out with sad books, I'll become a sad person... if I hang out with wise books, I'll become a wise person...

And if I hang out with textbooks, I'll become a very boring person! >=D

Wow... God is so so so good...

"How deep the Father's love,
How vast beyond all measure!
How great the pain of searing loss
As the Father turns to hide His face
As wounds which mars the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory..."

This is the day that He has made!

Am sitting at my table, looking out of my Ridgeview room... it's a simply beautiful morning! Green trees, blue skies, golden drops of sunshine... a bird not just flying, but soaring in the air... and a gentle breeze that makes the "trees of the forest clap their hands"...

This is the day that the Lord has made! =D

"Dream no small dreams..."

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

A Piece of Chalk

Read this interesting article by G.K. Chesterton... found it sweet! :)

Like this part:

And this, I think, is the mistake that people make about the old poets who lived before Wordsworth, and were supposed not to care very much about Nature because they did not describe it much.

They preferred writing about great men to writing about great hills; but they sat on the great hills to write it. The gave out much less about Nature, but they drank in, perhaps, much more. They painted the white robes of their holy virgins with the blinding snow, at which they had stared all day. . . The greenness of a thousand green leaves clustered into the live green figure of Robin Hood. The blueness of a score of forgotten skies became the blue robes of the Virgin. The inspiration went in like sunbeams and came out like Apollo.

That sounds like C.S. Lewis' style I think.

---

I remember one splendid morning, all blue and silver, in the summer holidays when I reluctantly tore myself away from the task of doing nothing in particular, and put on a hat of some sort and picked up a walking-stick, and put six very bright-coloured chalks in my pocket. I then went into the kitchen (which, along with the rest of the house, belonged to a very square and sensible old woman in a Sussex village), and asked the owner and occupant of the kitchen if she had any brown paper. She had a great deal; in fact, she had too much; and she mistook the purpose and the rationale of the existence of brown paper. She seemed to have an idea that if a person wanted brown paper he must be wanting to tie up parcels; which was the last thing I wanted to do; indeed, it is a thing which I have found to be beyond my mental capacity. Hence she dwelt very much on the varying qualities of toughness and endurance in the material. I explained to her that I only wanted to draw pictures on it, and that I did not want them to endure in the least; and that from my point of view, therefore, it was a question, not of tough consistency, but of responsive surface, a thing comparatively irrelevant in a parcel. When she understood that I wanted to draw she offered to overwhelm me with note-paper.

I then tried to explain the rather delicate logical shade, that I not only liked brown paper, but liked the quality of brownness in paper, just as I like the quality of brownness in October woods, or in beer. Brown paper represents the primal twilight of the first toil of creation, and with a bright-coloured chalk or two you can pick out points of fire in it, sparks of gold, and blood-red, and sea-green, like the first fierce stars that sprang out of divine darkness. All this I said (in an off-hand way) to the old woman; and I put the brown paper in my pocket along with the chalks, and possibly other things. I suppose every one must have reflected how primeval and how poetical are the things that one carries in one's pocket; the pocket-knife, for instance, the type of all human tools, the infant of the sword. Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about things in my pockets. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past.

With my stick and my knife, my chalks and my brown paper, I went out on to the great downs. . .

I crossed one swell of living turf after another, looking for a place to sit down and draw. Do not, for heaven's sake, imagine I was going to sketch from Nature. I was going to draw devils and seraphim, and blind old gods that men worshipped before the dawn of right, and saints in robes of angry crimson, and seas of strange green, and all the sacred or monstrous symbols that look so well in bright colours on brown paper. They are much better worth drawing than Nature; also they are much easier to draw. When a cow came slouching by in the field next to me, a mere artist might have drawn it; but I always get wrong in the hind legs of quadrupeds. So I drew the soul of a cow; which I saw there plainly walking before me in the sunlight; and the soul was all purple and silver, and had seven horns and the mystery that belongs to all beasts. But though I could not with a crayon get the best out of the landscape, it does not follow that the landscape was not getting the best out of me. And this, I think, is the mistake that people make about the old poets who lived before Wordsworth, and were supposed not to care very much about Nature because they did not describe it much.

They preferred writing about great men to writing about great hills; but they sat on the great hills to write it. The gave out much less about Nature, but they drank in, perhaps, much more. They painted the white robes of their holy virgins with the blinding snow, at which they had stared all day. . . The greenness of a thousand green leaves clustered into the live green figure of Robin Hood. The blueness of a score of forgotten skies became the blue robes of the Virgin. The inspiration went in like sunbeams and came out like Apollo.

But as I sat scrawling these silly figures on the brown paper, it began to dawn on me, to my great disgust, that I had left one chalk, and that a most exquisite and essential chalk, behind. I searched all my pockets, but I could not find any white chalk. Now, those who are acquainted with all the philosophy (nay, religion) which is typified in the art of drawing on brown paper, know that white is positive and essential. I cannot avoid remarking here upon a moral significance. One of the wise and awful truths which this brown-paper art reveals, is this, that white is a colour. It is not a mere absence of colour; it is a shining and affirmative thing, as fierce as red, as definite as black. When, so to speak, your pencil grows red-hot, it draws roses; when it grows white-hot, it draws stars. And one of the two or three defiant verities of the best religious morality, of real Christianity, for example, is exactly this same thing; the chief assertion of religious morality is that white is a colour. Virtue is not the absence of vices or the avoidance of moral dangers; virtue is a vivid and separate thing, like pain or a particular smell. Mercy does not mean not being cruel, or sparing people revenge or punishment; it means a plain and positive thing like the sun, which one has either seen or not seen.

Chastity does not mean abstention from sexual wrong; it means something flaming, like Joan of Arc. In a word, God paints in many colours; but he never paints so gorgeously, I had almost said so gaudily, as when He paints in white. In a sense our age has realised this fact, and expressed it in our sullen costume. For if it were really true that white was a blank and colourless thing, negative and non-committal, then white would be used instead of black and grey for the funereal dress of this pessimistic period. Which is not the case.

Meanwhile I could not find my chalk.

I sat on the hill in a sort of despair. There was no town near at which it was even remotely probable there would be such a thing as an artist's colourman. And yet, without any white, my absurd little pictures would be as pointless as the world would be if there were no good people in it. I stared stupidly round, racking my brain for expedients. Then I suddenly stood up and roared with laughter, again and again, so that the cows stared at me and called a committee. Imagine a man in the Sahara regretting that he had no sand for his hour-glass. Imagine a gentleman in mid-ocean wishing that he had brought some salt water with him for his chemical experiments. I was sitting on an immense warehouse of white chalk. The landscape was made entirely of white chalk. White chalk was piled more miles until it met the sky. I stooped and broke a piece of the rock I sat on: it did not mark so well as the shop chalks do, but it gave the effect. And I stood there in a trance of pleasure, realising that this Southern England is not only a grand peninsula, and a tradition and a civilisation; it is something even more admirable. It is a piece of chalk.

One reason for prayer

"If we had the blessings without asking for them, we should think them common things; but prayer makes our mercies more precious than diamonds. The things we ask for are precious, but we do not realize their preciousness until we have sought for them earnestly."

~ Charles Spurgeon ~

"Our faith in letting it all hang out" - the religion of liberalism

This is an interesting article I read in the Int'l Herald Tribune just now... thought the points that the writer mentioned are very relevant. One reason why I think they're relevant is because the writer gets to the root of the matter in a sensible and well-balanced way - he notes the dogmatism of liberalism (note the irony LOL), and describes why people hang on to their beliefs. Think it'll help us in being more understanding and respectful of others' pple's beliefs and cultures, and why they believe in what they believe in, whether they be Christian, Muslim, atheists or liberals. As Fish says,

Concerned only to stand up for an abstract principle - free speech - they seize on whatever content happens to come their way and use it as an example of what the principle should be protecting. The fact that for others the content may be life itself is beside their point.

---

Our faith in letting it all hang out
Stanley Fish The New York Times
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2006
DELRAY BEACH, Florida

If you want to understand what is and isn't at stake in the Danish cartoon furor, just listen to the man who started it all, Flemming Rose, the culture editor of the newspaper Jyllands-Posten. Rose told Time magazine that he asked 40 Danish cartoonists to "depict Muhammad as they see him," after he noticed that journalists, historians and even museum directors were wary of presenting the Muslim religion in an unfavorable light, or in any light at all.

"To me," he said, this "spoke to the problem of self-censorship and freedom of speech." The publication of the cartoons, he insisted, "was not directed at Muslims" at all. Rather, the intention was "to put the issue of self-censorship on the agenda and have a debate about it."

I believe him. And not only do I believe that he has nothing against Muhammad or the doctrines of Islam, I believe that he has no interest (positive or negative) in them at all, except as the possible occasions of controversy.

This is what it means today to put self-censorship "on the agenda": the particular object of that censorship - be it opinions about a religion, a movie, the furniture in a friend's house, your wife's new dress, whatever - is a matter of indifference. What is important is not the content of what is expressed but that it be expressed. What is important is that you let it all hang out.

Rose may think of himself, as most journalists do, as being neutral with respect to religion - he is not speaking as a Jew or a Christian or an atheist - but in fact he is an adherent of the religion of letting it all hang out, the religion we call liberalism.

The first tenet of the liberal religion is that everything (at least in the realm of expression and ideas) is to be permitted, but nothing is to be taken seriously. This is managed by the familiar distinction - implied in the First Amendment's religion clause - between the public and private spheres. It is in the private sphere - the personal spaces of the heart, the home and the house of worship - that one's religious views are allowed full sway and dictate behavior.

But in the public sphere, the argument goes, one's religious views must be put forward with diffidence and circumspection. You can still have them and express them - that's what separates us from theocracies and tyrannies - but they should be worn lightly. Not only must there be no effort to make them into the laws of the land, but they should not be urged on others in ways that make them uncomfortable. What religious beliefs are owed - and this is a word that appears again and again in the recent debate - is "respect"; nothing less, nothing more.

The thing about respect is that it doesn't cost you anything; its generosity is barely skin-deep and is in fact a form of condescension: I respect you; now don't bother me.

This is, increasingly, what happens to strongly held faiths in the liberal state. Such beliefs are equally and indifferently authorized as ideas people are perfectly free to believe, but they are equally and indifferently disallowed as ideas that might serve as a basis for action or public policy.

Strongly held faiths are exhibits in liberalism's museum; we appreciate them, and we congratulate ourselves for affording them a space, but should one of them ask of us more than we are prepared to give - ask for deference rather than mere respect - it will be met with the barrage of platitudinous arguments that for the last week have filled the pages of newspapers.

One of those arguments goes this way: It is hypocritical for Muslims to protest cartoons caricaturing Muhammad when cartoons vilifying the symbols of Christianity and Judaism are found everywhere in many Arab countries. After all, what's the difference? The difference is that those who publish such cartoons in Arab countries believe in their content; they believe that Jews and Christians follow false religions and are proper objects of hatred and obloquy.

But I would bet that the editors who have run the cartoons do not believe that Muslims are evil infidels who must either be converted or vanquished. They do not publish the offending cartoons in an effort to further some religious or political vision; they do it gratuitously, almost accidentally. Concerned only to stand up for an abstract principle - free speech - they seize on whatever content happens to come their way and use it as an example of what the principle should be protecting. The fact that for others the content may be life itself is beside their point.

This is itself a morality - the morality of a withdrawal from morality in any strong, insistent form. It is certainly different from the morality of those for whom the Danish cartoons are blasphemy and monstrously evil. And the difference, I think, is to the credit of the Muslim protesters and to the discredit of the liberal editors.

The argument from reciprocity - you do it to us, so how can you complain if we do it to you? - will have force only if the moral equivalence of "us" and "you" is presupposed. But the relativizing of ideologies and religions belongs to the liberal theology, and would hardly be persuasive to a Muslim.

This is why calls for "dialogue," issued so frequently of late by the pundits with an unbearable smugness - you can just see them thinking, "What's wrong with these people?" - are unlikely to fall on receptive ears.

The belief in the therapeutic and redemptive force of dialogue depends on the assumption (central to liberalism's theology) that, after all, no idea is worth fighting over to the death and that we can always reach a position of accommodation if only we will sit down and talk it out.

But a firm adherent of a comprehensive religion doesn't want dialogue about his beliefs; he wants those beliefs to prevail. Dialogue is not a tenet in his creed, and invoking it is unlikely to do anything but persuade him that you have missed the point - as, indeed, you are pledged to do, so long as liberalism is the name of your faith.

Stanley Fish is a law professor at Florida International University.

From a Christian perspective, I think it's a matter of necessity to have some absolute tenets - not necessity of virtue, but rather, necessity of being. The reason why I believe in what I believe is simply because I believe what I believe is true. (You still with me? ;)) Like Fish said, "the content may be life itself", so I "believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is, seen and unseen... in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father..."

So found this article meaningful, because in a way, I understand that different people have different beliefs, and some of these beliefs are a matter of life and death to them - and how would I feel if some people tried to force me to believe what I believe is wrong? In fact Christ never forced anyone to believe in Him:

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve.

That's the way God is - He, the most powerful One in the universe, before whom every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, is gentle and meek, lowly in heart. He does not force us to believe in Him, but simply asks us whether we want to follow Him or not.

And what's my response then? There are so many beliefs out there... but after examining the evidence, the words of Jesus and the lives of those who have decided to follow Him, I conclude together with Peter the fisherman:

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

Reflections in the morning

Just woke up... a lot of things going thru my mind as i pray.
But tink the most overriding thing is the thot abt what Peter told me yesterday.
Somehow... i feel a bit more reassured, bcos i've been worrying abt what this or that person thinks of me, and the accompanying negative memories and thots that flow and the feelings of dismay, with "i ought to do this and that, then that person will be happy."

God, sorry... i'm glad that You are near, listening to what i've to share. You know my deepest fears, my weaknesses and insecurities, and You sit there, the Ancient of Days, with all infinite wisdom, and all infinite power - to save and destroy, to transform and preserve... You are the LORD Almighty!

Think all those negative thots can be traced back to this habit of looking at (and blaming others) instead of looking harder at myself.

Search me, Lord, and know my heart
Test me and know my anxious thots.
See if there is any offensive way in me
and lead me in the way everlasting.

"Fear is self-centred." I remember this from the book "Christian Living vol. 1". Change my fear into love, Lord, I pray. I ask this in Jesus' most precious name, amen.

Who, Yessir & Coffee - 3 Political Leaders

Pinched this hilarious dialogue (fictional!) from Edwin's bloggie... ROFL when I reached the line about Kofi... XD OMG it's funny liao...

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in
the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get me
the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
and then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

What's the purpose of a blog then?

So after reading through 2 blogs, I felt very touched, encouraged and refreshed all in one go. Praise God indeed.

Then, actually, to be honest, i was reminded of one of my (dear) friends and his blog - I started feeling quite angry n yet quite sad when i thought of him, of his blog and his habit of negative put-pple-down speech... and yet... reminded of myself, that i have done the same thing before - and probably said and done far worse.

He's not a Christian, that's the thing... i wasn't a Christian before, and i see where my life went to... i'm reminded of this verse from Titus: "We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy..."

That's the thing... we all need God to forgive us our sins, and make us into new people. To paraphrase Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a German theologian during the Second World War, he said that in contrast to the Nazis' idea of an elite group of super-humans who would be perfect in every way, he realised that God's plan all along was to create a new race of humans - men no longer of the old dead race, but men redeemed and made brand-new - men who now have a new life, a life of love, a life that is SO real. A life that is truly life.

Just as Huanyan wrote, "Therefore, I am unable to prove God's existence except through my own personal experience. In fact, the best evidence of God's existence is our hearts, when He enters the 'void' and makes it His home."

aMeN, brother! :D

So am refreshed in this purpose of typing a blog - to encourage others of God's goodness, and at the same time, refresh ppl's hearts too.

Yup, think tt's one of the most wonderful things about being a Christian - God has given each and every one of us a unique meaning, purpose and direction... as the Scripture says,

"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"
- but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.

Dear friend, God has a wonderful plan for you, to use you to make a difference in this dying and suffering world. He wants to use you to truly impact other people's lives too - and this will never be by your own strength, desire or even efforts. Only Jesus can truly give you what your heart desires - a meaning, purpose and most of all, joy and peace in your heart.

Dear friend, God is REAL. God is GOOD. I've experienced His love, grace and power, and it is SO REAL - even to a hardened skeptic like me. He HAS changed my life through His One and Only Son, Jesus Christ. And He wants to use YOU to bring His love into others' lives. But you can only share what you have received. Would you like to invite Him into your heart today?

Another blog post from another blog! :D haha...

Hey... just read this from a dear sister's blog just now... hmm, linked from Huanyan's blog. Praise God, so very encouraged. here it is:

This part from her blog really struck me:
Beginning of February, SL asked me if i blogged and I told him no. He asked me why not and I told him lazy lai.. and I never like writing diary (reminds me of the bad and sad times which I have no intention of remembering at all). H/w, he told me that we can now use our blogs to share our walk with God and to inspire people with our testimony. At that time, I thot it was a great idea, but was lazy to walk out of my comfort zone and explore st different.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Hmm...
I ve always been a computer idiot and couldn't be bother with blogs. Have always thought that bloggin is an invasion of privacy and a waste of time.

Beginning of February, SL asked me if i blogged and I told him no. He asked me why not and I told him lazy lai.. and I never like writing diary (reminds me of the bad and sad times which I have no intention of remembering at all). H/w, he told me that we can now use our blogs to share our walk with God and to inspire people with our testimony. At that time, I thot it was a great idea, but was lazy to walk out of my comfort zone and explore st different.

On 9/2/06, I was about to start studyin when I was suddenly inspired to write about my walk with God in my notebook. The title was prayers and answered prayers. While I was tryin to recall the things I have prayed for and the prayers God has answered, I realised that I had to think very hard and there were lots of things to write about(feelings, thoughts and incidents). At this point of time, I realised that I should start a blog! For the first time, I wanted to share my testimonies with people. I wanted people to experience the goodness and the reality of God. Most of all, I wanted to remember every single step of my life with God, for the old has gone and the new has come. This new life is definitely something worth remembering and sharing...

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing that we have in christ." (phil 6)


Petrina dream on x 12:38 AM

A blog post tt I found v thought-provoking...

I read this entry from a brother's blog (thanks Huanyan! :)) just now... found it expressed very well something that's been in my heart just recently. Praise God, now I can save time - just copy and paste, no need to type my own... hahaha! ;D

Void
Friday, February 10, 2006

It sounds so strange, but today, I heard Ellson talking to this friend of ours, asking him to look into the sky tonight and get a feel how small and seemingly insignificant are we. And I decided that while I was walking home just now, to take a look at the sky, just a look, and yeah, we are so small..., mankind is just so small within the macrocosm of this universe. Just exactly two months ago, I would look at the sky, and get the feeling of emptiness and void within me. I wouldn't admit then, and I wouldn't even be bothered about it then.

But, friends, sometimes we reached home after a day of 'fun' and even so, we still feel a sense of void and emptiness in our heart, as if everything has lost its meaning and purpose. Sometimes, we got what we want but we do not feel the sense of achievement. Have you had that kind of feeling before?

But bear in mind, it's not a question of whether you are bored or not, but a question of whether do you feel fulfilled or not, it's the question of the 'void' in our heart. Cos if you are bored, all you need to do is to just party the night away and walaaa, you got rid of the boredom. Anyway, the failure to make the distinction between the void and the boredom is what a lot of us experience at time, and that resulted in a lot of us engaging in a lot of 'fun activities' such as partying to fill up the 'hole'. So what's the 'void'? And what are we doing about it?

This reminds me of a famous saying by Pascal: 'When Man is created by God, we are created with a space in our heart, it's a God-size void which only God can fill' (parahrased). Perhaps that is why, when the night is silent and the air is quiet, that when we are alone, we hear a voice, an unknown and yet familiar voice whispering to us. I dun know if some of the readers can identify with that, but certainly there's a voice which is constantly speaking to us. That is the voice of the One who is able to fill our 'God-size' void. Whether you take it or not, it's entirely up to you. I'm attemtpting to explain this void.

Eventually, I'm not going to prove to people the validity of my argument. Cos if God can be proven by empirical method, then he shouldn't be called God. That's also the reason why people failed in their try to prove the existence of God without letting him to fill up the void. Cos God is not the result of the kopitiam discussion, but the reason why we are able to sit in the kopitiam and discuss about Him. Therefore, I am unable to prove God's existence except through my own personal experience. In fact, the best evidence of God's existence is our hearts, when He enters the 'void' and makes it His home. That is the best proof and the beginning of a purpose driven life (not advertising for Rick Warren). As what He has said, 'I have come that they may have life and have it to the full' (John 10:10b)

Hostel life

Now typing this in my room. Whoa, really want to thank God for such a good time in hostel... got to make some new friends, wif my neighbour - he's from Northeast China, and sister Tamar from Youth ministry (she's coming over to NUS ministry wif a whole bunch of other sisters v. soon).

Went room-to-room visiting wif QP, Mich, Tamar and Edwin on Monday or Tuesday (i think). Gosh, it was so fun! QP said, "Now this sem, Ridgeview is the place to be!" Yeah, 'cos imagine, being able to fellowship wif your bros n sisters n just chill out and chat at 1 am wif other hostel mates is really ... shiok! :D hahaha...

Must really thank God so much for His goodness... hostel life has helped me learn to take better care of myself, and in a way, assume more responsibility for my own life - transition to full-fledged adulthood. And after shopping for groceries 2 days ago, I'm really learning to appreciate my parents so so so much more... can really see how much they love me when they buy food for me and my sister, and simple things such as buying instant noodles for me to eat in hostel... Really really really want to thank God for them, realised it's not easy to take care of a family... hmm, haha 'cos in future I may want to start a family of my own too. =) 4 children would be good, yeah... but have'll to see what my bank account (and future wife) says. :)

Talking about children, children are indeed a blessing from God... hehe... ok learning to appreciate them too more and more. Actually, I feel quite shy around children, 'cos I don't really know how to handle/interact wif them... but I think wif more interaction and practice, I'll be able to bless them more.

Yet, at the same time it's not easy taking care of children. When I see the responsibilities of being a father... gosh, it's really a noble calling from God - and frankly, quite scary in a way... I'll be responsible for a whole life... and the sorrows and heartaches that will come my way. I know in a way... I remember how I behaved towards my parents when I wasn't a Christian last time... God, how much pain I caused them... really pray that I can be a good son to them in the years to come, to say "thank you" in a little way to them for all they've done for me all these years.

Oh, back to the title... ;) so hostel life is really fantastic, because I can also deco the interior of my room! You really should take a look at Tamar's room - it's BEAUTIFUL, the way she can deco... haha, so learnt a lot from her interior design skills. One of my dreams in future is to have a beautiful home that's large enough to accomodate an entire unit of brothers n sisters (that'll be about 20-30 people), and make it so sweet and comfortable for anyone who comes in, that he/she'll be ministered and refreshed. Really hope and pray that God'll use me and my future family to extend hospitality to both Christians and non-Christians with such a home. I've seen two such homes... wow, really want to learn more interior deco skills in the near future. Well, guess I can start with my own room. ;) So do come by for a visit anytime whenever you're free, dear friends; I've got food (but no drinks yet) for you! (Ridgeview Ext. Blk A, Room 807)

And on a lighter note, did you know that one jug of Dynamo detergent is cheaper ($3.10) than one bottle of Rejoice shampoo ($6.60)? Maybe I should use Dynamo to shampoo instead... ;D

Dynamo cleans your head like nothing else can.

Hostel room! Thank God! :D (and some thoughts on prayer)

Now in my hostel room for the first time in 4 years. Wow... God has been very faithful to me, and feel very encouraged by His answering my prayer for a room.

'Cos He know that I need a room to stay in so that I can focus on my honours year project work, and also because I want to bless the other brothers and sisters - perhaps open the room up for CG, use it as a 'storeroom' of sorts for items, etc.

Very encouraged by His answer too, 'cos this shows that prayer can literally open doors... just like what Jesus said, "Knock, and the door shall be opened to you." What I mean is that, at the beginning of this sem, the room that I'm in now was originally taken up by another brother, Andrew. Since he had graduated last sem, I figured out that since he wouldn't be using this room anymore. So I emailed the Ridgeview office to ask them for the room, but they said I have to go onto the waiting list.

So I waited, and waited... prayed and asked God whether I should go down and ask them in person, but no reply from Him. So I decided to go ahead and try asking anyway, but never got around to doing it (since I was quite tired of pestering the OSA people... and I think the guy at the counter was starting to remember my face...) ;) Heh! Think God also wanted to show mercy to the OSA people... LOL! ;D ok just kidding...

Then at the end of the month, when the results of the waiting list was announced in due time, I got an email telling me that I got the room. Wow, thank God, so thankful He heard my prayer and answered it.

The funny thing is, the room that I had originally asked for (room 807) was the room that I was allocated! So, in a small way, I think, from this experience, God wanted to give me this room in answer to my prayer, and my prayer in a way made a difference.

It's a mystery how prayer works - personally, I think one of the most surprising things ever in this universe is that a small jolt of some (half-dead) neurons firing and some sound waves from a mouth can actually transcend time and space to reach some supernatural Deity whom no eye can see or ear can hear.

Crazy, isn't it? To be honest, I have this tendency to attribute it to coincidence... but the strange thing is, to paraphrase a Christian bishop (I can't remember exactly who), "True, it may just be a coincidence, but the thing is, when I pray, these coincidences seem to happen much more often."

And what about those who are not Christians, but claim that their god/deity, and not the God of the Bible, has answered their prayers? And/or is it the God of the Bible who has answered their prayers? Or is this a contradiction? After all, you do hear of strange things that happen when non-Christians pray... ever watched "Touched by an Angel" and other such-themed shows?

Mmm, for this question, I'm not exactly sure how some prayers come true, but knowing the heart and nature of God, I know He is compassionate and gracious. Even though the person who prays may not be a religious person or even pray to a different god, I think He sees the heart and the need of the person who's praying to him... and He graciously chooses to answer that prayer, even though He knows very well that the credit for the answered prayer'll go to another god, and not to Him alone. Wow... what a humble God God is. Just as Jesus said, "He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." (Luke 6:35c)

And the Bible is replete with examples of non-believers who, even though they didn't know the God of the Bible, chose to put their faith in Him and pray to Him. And He answered their prayers in miraculous ways. E.g. the sailors who threw Jonah overboard, Naaman the Aramean, Cornelius the Roman centurion...

And even the Athenian Greeks acknowledged the possibility of an unknown God, which Paul highlighted to them in his presentation to the Areopagus. "For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you..." (Acts 17)

Wow... i think the really amazing thing is not that God answers prayer, but that He actually cares enough to answers our prayers in the first place! Because the fact is, nobody ever deserves to have his/her prayers heard... by right, we all deserve to be kicked out of His courts to the place where we rightly belong. Yet the King graciously chooses to hear our needs all the same...

Then how about the issue of suffering? Aren't the cries of the victims of oppression being heard? Why would a loving God allow suffering to go on, seemingly deaf to the cries of those who are suffering?

The issue of theodicy (the problem of evil) has been one question that has perplexed many. Mmm... I can't write more on this (no time or space), but such an important topic cannot be treated lightly or dismissively, for the suffering of the poor and oppressed is something that is very, very, very close to God's heart. There are many good books written about it - personally, I think one of the best books to read would be C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain".

Personally, on the topic of pain, I've asked (more of ranted) to God why He'd let me be this and that... but the longer I walk with Him, the more He helps me understand why He let me be this and that. Over the years, somehow, I know more and more that He has been good to me, and even the bad and painful things that I have experienced in the past, He'll use it to His glory. Even now, I can see how, through these bad things, He has put a few people into my life who are currently struggling with what I've struggled before / am still struggling with. And frankly, the ironic thing is, as John Ortberg comments, "It is precisely here that we make one of the most surprising discoveries: Often it is the people closest to suffering who have the most powerful joy." From the squalid slums of Calcutta to the death-camp of Flossenburg, eye-witnesses have commented on the glowing gratitude and joy of the people who have suffered. How strange... yet, personally, I've seen this happen with my own eyes too.

They say that the best healer is a wounded healer, for only he can truly understand the pain and suffering of those whom he heals, for he himself has suffered as such.

Hmm... just some food for thought. Still, really thank God for His undeserved favour, that He's blessed me with this room... feel very touched and grateful to Him, 'cos I can use the room to bless other pple more too. And oh yeah, thank God for Tamar, a sister from the Youth service. Very blessed - and surprised - 'cos we had the opportunity to help one another - she helped clean my room (it was on her initiative) and even provided me with some stuff that I needed, and I helped her with some computer stuff.

Wow, God's timing is simply per-fect! :D Can't stop thanking Him for all that He's done - He is so so so good! :D

Do the best i can do EVEN if it's a sucky failure ;)

Thank You Lord, feel so grateful to You... 'cos woke up late - felt angry wif myself, started dwelling, etc. etc...

felt lost, confused, angry wif myself and annoyed, all at the same time, 'cos was rushing to pack my stuff to bring into hostel today AND the fact that i'm late for class AND my luggage weighs a ton AND i'll be making another donation to the taxi company. Grunted to God tt the way i plan my time is total crap...

But God is very gracious... Somehow remembered what Ruey Fong had told me before, tt one thing i tend to do is waste little pockets of times dwelling on things and decisions. And this little song came to mind too...

"Jesus knows our every weakness /
Take it to the Lord in prayer..."

Yeah... :D tk God, felt ... wouldn't say "refreshed" or even "encouraged"... tink it's more of "supported". :D it's like, I felt God was standing there, my Father, watching me pack this and that and look for this and that... and He's showing me and reminding me what to bring and NOT to bring... patiently guiding me to help me pack my things.

:D

then feel very touched! even though i was still quite frustrated inside, He patiently "brought" a taxi along at EXACTLY the same time, and when the taxi driver saw me lugging my luggage along, he stopped for me. hahah...

sorta like my Dad "called" the taxi for me in advance. really touched by God's patience, grace, kindness, mercy and compassion.

yeah... He IS like that. When He came down and stood there with Moses and proclaimed His name, the LORD (i.e. His identity), He proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness..." Yup, the God of the Old Testament is the same yesterday and today and forever. :D

Hey it struck me... stood there WITH Moses...

He was standing there with me too. I dunno how leh, i mean, no big cloud came down... (i'd be scared out of my socks if He did THAT.) But... He was there.

**************
To be honest, I don't know whether He was there before or not, or whether He was standing there all along, but one thing I do know - HE WAS THERE.

Bcos can't an omnipresent God choose where He wants to be and where NOT to be? (remember, He's omnipotent too...)
**************

Anyway, as I was saying:
So I chucked my luggage into my room, took the bus to my lecture room... and found it empty. checked with my classmate, checked the forum, and found out that there's no lesson today. Cheh... the lecturer nvr emailed us leh... :P haha... not that i mind anyway! ;D

Think something I learnt more abt God thru tis experience... He knows my every weakness... and the worse thing is that i don't even try to work on my weaknesses... but still, He is so full of grace... no wonder He tells us to rejoice in Him, no matter what the circumstances... even His disciplining us is all part of His perfect plans... just accept the fact i sin, make mistakes and blow things up big-time, do the best i can do EVEN if it's a sucky failure and rely on God's unmerited favour to do what i cannot do.

"All my regrets, all my acclaim
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours...

Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory..."

Ok now i really need to plan my time ahead.... today is the day He has made, so will rejoice n be glad in it!!! :D YaY!!!

Yeu Ann's Zombie Game

You really dare click here??? =)

"Take heart! It is I; don't be afraid."

Mmm, just a short update on what's gg on in my life.

Been working on my hons year project. As I've shared wif some of my friends, it's been getting more and more stressful, mainly bcos the project really is quite tough to do.

Been worried (and have felt frustrated too) abt it quite a few times, but realised tt it's important to guard my heart n not let difficulties or my own inability to do the work (which promises to be a big load this sem) take my eyes off Jesus.

Something I'm really grateful to Jesus thru this time ... ok, many things :) -

He's blessed me with a good friend in the lab - he's currently a scholar serving his NS in the lab... he's really hardworking and effective in his work - something I wanna capture from him.

But what's sweeter than that is that he's v willing to help others, and patient too. And he understands the technical aspects of my project and the programming language too. Wow, when God sends help, He really sends help... in the form of a scholar, and a very helpful one at that... really thank God for this friend in my life. Really enjoy his company too - he's from Hwa Chong JC last time, same year as me. :D

LOL, for those who know which JC i was from... he's living proof tt HCJC owNz the game... hahaha...

(looking fwd to compliments from HCJC d00ds in my comments box. and complaints from my JC mates... hahaha, i score own goal liao...)

Anyway, back to serious stuff. Was reading my Bible, when my eyes were drawn to a few verses regarding faith in God - which I was reminded of too when praying the night before...

I remembered this passage from the Bible where Jesus sends the disciples ahead of him to cross a lake in a boat. Then a storm came up, and the boat was in trouble, tossed abt by the waves. Then the disciples, who were in the boat, saw somebody walking on the water towards them. They were terrified and cried out, "It's a GHOST!!!!"

But the Somebody immediately said to them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

So thought about it... think the workload this semester is like a storm in a way. But think God is reassuring me frm tis verse tt even when the storm is raging and tossing me here n there, He is always there. And in case I doubt His ability n goodness thru this time, i need to remember that He's greater than any storm - He walks ON the water.

Yup... tk God for His goodness so much... learning to rejoice in His unfailing love and goodness, and to draw courage from His presence thru tis time in the midst of this storm.

A Mac Called Desire

Baby...


Apple MacBook Pro

Just a thot...

Just a thot:
Why do I feel good when I do some things well?

Is it:
- bcos I know I've blessed God's heart and brought a smile to Him?
Or is it:
- bcos I've met my own standards, and therefore, feel self-satisfied?

Hmm...

A little girl...

Over the past few weeks, i've been getting to play more and more with my tuition boss' baby daughter - she's a toddler now. it's really so heartwarming, seeing hw she smiles and says hello (she tries her best) to me every time i come over.

and today, she took my big hand in hers, and fingered my palm, playing with my fingers. :)

guess these are the times that makes you want to be a father. Or at least join the HopeKids ministry. ;)