Kissing "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" Goodbye

WZ & I talked yesterday about how much damage Joshua Harris's book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" had done.

But being the thoughtful guy he is, he added, "Well, I think Joshua Harris, after he grew older and got married, looked around, and saw what he had done. That people were blindly kissing dating goodbye and chasing courtship as THE biblical method. So he wrote his second book, 'Boy Meets Girl' to try and salvage the situation, explaining that it's the heart behind what you do, not so much the actions that count. That there can be godly daters and ungodly courtshippers."

Then he paused. "That's what you get when a twenty-three years old guy writes."

:)

And then he said again, "Maybe because many of us looked at the cover, and had heard impressive things about it... and went, 'WHOA!'"

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I like Weizhu's insights. He's a slow, slow, slow thinker... but a deep, objective and well-balanced thinker. Thus I respect WZ's insights and value them highly, because he always takes care to look at both sides of the coin.

His view is that both dating and courtship are fine. It's the HEART behind it that counts. Just that a lot of us sway to one extreme or the other.

Initially, I was one of those who took a rather extreme stand. But through the years, I examined my own heart motives, and realized that I had secret motives. Such as, "If I do it the courtship way, I can earn God's favour here and hopefully score points with Him. Then I'll get a nicer wife."

Oh man. That was legalism, pure and simple. There's just so many things wrong with that attitude on several levels. And what was worse, it snuck in under the cloak of "spirituality".

*shakes head*

This isn't really an issue about dating / courtship. It's simply the tip of the iceberg of legalism that is so prevalent among many of us. And more ignobly, blind, unthinking faith that doesn't stop to think why it believes what it believes. Which gets me hot under the collar.

The Answer To Our Hearts' Emptiness: Thinking of Jesus More

A dear friend asked me this just now:

"What do u do when life feels empty? Do you think there will always be a hole or can we be fully satisfied in Him?"

I initially wanted to write a long theological exposition on this, but felt strangely prompted to write this instead:

"Mm... To answer your questions, when I feel empty, I think of Jesus. I think of how much He loves me, and died for me. I think of how he is watching over me, and I think of his promise, 'And surely I am with you always, even to the end...' I think of how good he is, that if everything is gone, he is there. He is more than the world to me, He is my everything, He is my all. I think of how he understands the feeling of utter loneliness... and I think of the eternal scars on his resurrected body. I think of Jesus."

:) my friend smiled.

Then I added,

"I think that's the only answer that the Bible gives us [to our question of emptiness]... but what an answer: Jesus himself is the answer to our hearts' emptiness. 'Our hearts are restless, until they find rest in Thee.'"

What Does "Success" Mean to an INFP?

Personally, I'm what you might call a classic INFP. I found this passage very meaningful:

The INFP who augments their strong, internal value system (Introverted Feeling) with a well-developed intuitive way of perceiving the world (Extraverted iNtuition) can be a powerful force for social change. Their intense values and strong empathy for the underprivileged, combined with a reliable and deeply insightful understanding of the world that we live in, creates an individual with the power to make a difference (such as Mother Teresa - an INFP).

So for me personally, I think it's important for me to make sure I don't start getting all broody, but learn to fix my eyes on the bigger picture - what God wants, not what I want.

I know other INFPs... and when they look inwards, man... they can get all sappy and emo - and super self-absorbed. I'm one of them too, so... *shrugs* think I can speak very bluntly. Because I've had the same self-centred attitude - as my bros and sisters can testify. But when I start looking outwards and living for God instead of myself... thank God, I feel so alive. :D Hee. Like a horse running, like a bird flying, like a fish swimming... I feel so in my element - living for a cause greater than myself - a cause that is REALLY worth living (and dying) for! :)

But... before I get all puffed-up... I have to speak with a sense of gratitude. But for the grace of God, there I go. I see people who really have the same struggle as me... I know one friend who struggles with the same kind of loneliness as me, and I think to myself even as I hear him crying over the phone: "There, but for the grace of God, go I." What is the difference, that I should be so chosen that I can see beyond myself and be rescued out of my previous self-absorbed existence? Really... by grace, and grace alone.

*pause*

So all the more important that we look not only to our own interests, but look also to the interests of others. If we want to save our lives, we WILL lose it. But since we're natural idealists, giving our lives for a worthy cause is so super-appealing. How much more, when our natural dreams find their fulfillment in the biggest Dream of all: God reconciling the world to himself, not counting their sins against him.

*pause again*

In the end, it's not about which personality is the best. No such thing. Apples and oranges. It's about knowing and following a Person.

Because God is the one in whom all Personhood finds its definition, meaning, sustenance and existence. He is the most human being in the entire universe... for the Son of Man came to seek and save what was lost.

We had lost our identities as humans... and we were so lost that we thought we were evolving into better and better humans while we steadily invented new depravities and dehumanizations.

And now, when the Son of Man smashed into history, like a thief in the night... we found out that we, for all of human history, are now just returning to where we were supposed to have been all along - the first page. To be... humans again.

Humanity lost, and humanity regained.

In short, the Son of Man came to teach us what it really meant to be human.

Amazing.