Friday, May 26, 2006

About the recent District Camp... (part II)

Oh yes... want to write about the nite walk.

It was long. It was tiring. But it was good.

Very good.

Very very good.

Very incredibly good.

Incredibly incredibly good.

Incredibly extraordinarily amazingly good.

Haha... ok, more seriously, really treasure that time. There's a lot more to reflect about myself during the camp... the dark part of the walk esp spoke to me, and the uncertainty of the destination ("Eh, where are we heading???") itself was an object lesson to me...

Maybe I'll write this down another time, if ever. :)

About the recent District Camp...

Hmm, keep on wanting to blog about it from time to time... but in the end, for what purpose would I be blogging? Personally think it's better to keep and treasure what I've learnt in my heart and put it into practice... I want to bear fruit with what I've learnt!

Still, really (I mean it) thank God for this camp. This camp has been one of the sweetest times of fellowship that I've experienced in my whole life, honestly... I especially treasure the fellowship that we had on the 2nd nite of camp, when we were all sharing about our camp objectives, and when one of the bros was asking about Holy Spirit baptism, and how all the other bros n sisters encouraged him with testimonies...

Something that struck me as very real was that I was really seeing the Body of Christ in action. "The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body." It struck me, how different each person's testimony and sharing was, and yet on a higher scale, when you take a step back and look at the theme, all our different testimonies were so united - how God touched our lives, how He helped us experience the baptism of the Holy Spirit... how He spoke to us in different ways...

I marvel indeed at the wonder of the Body of Christ. It's something that only God Himself can do - to unite many very different people of different cultures into one united body! :D




On a more personal note, I made 3 objectives before going for the camp. The first one was to ask God for directions for my life, 'cos I'm graduating at the end of this year. And secondly, to ask Him to deepen my convictions, and thirdly, to deepen the time of fellowship, that I may know my bros n sisters in my CG better.

He answered my prayers, every one of them! :D

For directions for my life and ministry, during worship, He spoke to me 2 phrases: "I've placed you here exactly where I want you to be." and another, "A servant heart." These two phrases helped to clear the fear in my heart. Could really sense His assurance upon me at this point in time.

And for deepening of convictions, Ps Jeff's preaching and Claramae's teaching really stirred up my heart... somehow, I felt the fire of God in my heart being stoked up once again after so long... somehow I think Jesus was speaking very clearly to me and pointing me in the right direction, reminding me to keep my desire for God central.

And for fellowship, ha, amazing... I really saw the Body of Christ so powerfully in action that night... when a diverse and disparate group of people were united as one in Christ when we shared that night.

Praise God for His mighty works;
Praise Him in His sanctuary;
Praise Him for His awesome power;
Praise Him for His amazing grace!

Got a new computer!

Dell Intel Core Duo 2.8 GHz with 1 GB DDR2 500+MHZ RAM, 128 ATI graphics card with HyperMemory technology, 160GB HDD... etc. etc

Ah my inner geek is contented.... thank God! :D

Haha... and would you believe it if I told you I was playing Minesweeper on that system? (Lame!)

And that no matter how fast the system, I still only manage to score 27s for Beginner level? (Lamer!)

Haha... anyway, very thankful to God for this new system... hope it blesses my family much more now. And can do my multimedia jobs faster now.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Be joyful always!

Hmm, want to thank God for His love and grace to me... He prepared me beforehand the disappointment that He'd knew I'd face when seeing my results today.

Yep, you guessed it - my results weren't good, honestly. All my grades were below expectations. But praise Daddy indeed - He knows exactly my fears, my struggles and my desires - and He carries me through! Very touched, because He knows my love language - words - and yesterday, He caused me to read through not one, but TWO articles on crosswalk.com - one of them on what if you had many plans, but God suddenly ("suddenly" as from your perspective) called you to a totally different route? and the other one being dealing with disappointment - disappointment can actually be a good thing, because it cause you to look upwards.

And He gave me not one, but TWO Bible verses to steady my heart and encourage me.
The first one was during my QT today: "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." And the second one was this verse that I happened to see just before I checked my results: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

aMeN! So I am encouraged, simply because I know that God Himself allowed this to happen, and if in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose, and if God has let this thing happen to me, then by logical deduction, we can deduce that even in this disappointment, God is already working for my good, because He loves me and has a wonderful plan for me. aMeN! Praise God...

"Though I may not understand / All the plans You have for me / My life is in Your hands / And through the eyes of faith I can clearly see...

That His love is everlasting,
And His mercies,
They will never end!!!

God is good, all the time!
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine
God is good, all the time!
Through the darkest night
His light will shine..."

Super-touched... that's why I'm not as disappointed as I could have been... mainly because God prepared me beforehand with the precious promise of His presence and His words of encouragement. So even in the face of this disappointment, I know that it was already foreseen by Him, even before time began, and even my poor grades, and the broken me, are all in His hands, crafted into His perfect plans. This is, from His eyes, and through the eyes of faith, only a small infinitesimal drop in the sheer magnitude of His perfect plan to redeem all humanity.

Yup, am reminded of Wenjiang's teaching on prayer during the uni district camp about the "Spiritual Armour" prayer... to take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one (e.g. discouragement, negative thoughts, doubts, fears, etc...), take up the sword of the Spirit (ie. the word of God) e.g. the Bible verses that remind me to trust God's heart no matter what happen, and to pray in the Spirit... which I really need, because on my own, I can't stand, unless He helps me to stand firm.

So I've got one more semester... I've done the calculations... it is possible for me to get Honours, but I'll have to really push very hard. Honestly, feel a bit afraid, but let that draw me closer to Jesus and hold His hand even tighter as we walk together through the last semester. Even now the winter is passing, even now spring is coming. O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever! :D

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Woods

Isn't it a coincidence that I was thinking of two separate things, among many things, that I wanted to write down in this entry, and they both talk about woods?

Yes, woods as in forest, etc. etc. Not wood as in Woodbridge, as in "referee kayu"... :P

Seriously, have been very busy these few weeks with helping do publicity clips for multimedia... and seriously, nothing feels so shiok as sensing Jesus' affirmation in your heart when you give your best to serve Him... :) "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

About writing down these reflections and connect-the-dots, I think not yet; I still have many things to complete first before I can write down what I think God has been doing in my life these past three weeks.

As Frost expressed it so beautifully in his poem,
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

Praise Jesus. What a wonderful friend I have in Him. :D

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Troubled in spirit

Wow! Another miracle... praise God! :D He is so sweet, as always.

Hm... just had finished writing an encouragement card for Sijia and was about to get up and look for her, when she came into the classroom looking for me! :D

'cos she had bought a Kitkat for me... LOL we both laughed and she said, "God connected our hearts together."

aMeN! :)

Then she asked me, "Are you all right? You seem a bit troubled by something..."

Was a bit surprised... then thought abt it... yeah, it's true, but I can't exactly put my finger on it why i feel a bit troubled. So told her that, and she thought abt it for a bit. Then she said, "Hmm... maybe you can pray more to God about this..."

Hmm... yes I'll pray to You Lord abt this... Jer 33:3... i dun quite know what exactly is this that makes me feel a bit troubled in spirit. could it be the same thing what i had shared with Robert about a few days ago? Lord, i'm not sure... but tell me pls...

Love You, Lord.




I remember this verse where Jesus spoke abt being troubled in spirit too... wonder if it's speaking to me here?

John 12:27-28a:

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"


Have bolded the parts that seem to speak to me especially... wonder if God is trying to tell me something? God I want to hear from You...

Monday, April 24, 2006

Gospel of Judas - a well-written essay

Hmm! Came across this article: http://shangjun.blogspot.com/2006/04/gospel-of-judas-response.html

Think it's very well-written, complete wif reference lists. From what I've read in that essay, it's most likely written to other Christians.

Still, think this part I read is useful for everyone in general who has questions abt the authenticity of the canonicity of the Christian Bible, which in simpler English means, "The guys who put the Bible together - did they just anyhow whack or can trust what they did?"

As I have previously shared, there was stringent criteria used to decide which books should be included in the canon. Norman Geisler and Nix present the principles as follows (Geisler/Nix, GIB, 223-231):

1) Was the book written by a prophet of God? If it was written by a spokesman of God, then it was from God.

2) Was the writer confirmed by acts of God? Frequently, miracles separated the true prophets from the false ones. E.g. Moses, Isaiah etc.

3) Did the message tell the truth about God? God cannot contradict himself. Maccabees in the Catholic apocrypha pushes the doctrine of purgatory, but nowhere else in the scriptures is purgatory supported or even mentioned.

4) Does it come with the power of God? If the message of the book did not achieve its stated goal, and did not have the power to change a life, then God was apparently not behind its message.

5) Was it accepted by the people of God? Paul’s letters were widely read in the Churches then. When a book was received, read, collected and used by the people of God as the Word of God, it was regarded as canonical.


Incidentally came across a very nicely-done pamphlet espousing the Book of Mormon (which the Mormons put on equal par wif the Bible). Was discussing abt it wif Mich, and she commented that we need to consider why we say that the Book of Mormons is not true as compared to the Christian Bible...

And I'll add, ditto for other scriptures of other religions e.g. the Koran, the Buddhist scriptures, the Vedas, etc...

So why do I believe the Bible is true?
Hmm! interesting question... i'll think abt it more and write down next time. It's good to understand why we believe what we believe, 'cos reason is a crucial part of the Christian faith.

I just remembered this part of the Bible... in this letter, the apostle Peter himself answered this very question abt the reality of Christ [and affirms the divine authority of the letters written by his co-worker, Paul]. (Whoa, the Bible really got the answer to any qn tt u can throw at it!)

"So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

We did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty. For he received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." We ourselves heard this voice that came from heaven when we were with him on the sacred mountain.

And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet's own interpretation. For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit."

(2 Peter 1)

And later on in his letter, he defends the Scriptural authority of Paul's letter:
"Bear in mind that our Lord's patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction."

(2 Peter 3)

There are other factors to consider though, the authenticity of Peter's letter itself... (a) was it really written by the apostle Peter himself, and (b) how do we know that even if it was written by Peter himself, that 2 Peter is Scripture too?

Think i'll answer it this way:
a. Well, yes, there are some scholarly concerns e.g. the writing style of 2 Peter is slightly different from 1 Peter (the Greek of 2 Peter is more refined). But a reasonable explanation can be given for the possiblity that Peter may have used a (more educated) scribe to write 2 Peter, as compared to 1 Peter which was most likely written by Peter himself (in his 'rougher' style).
b. Check the above guidelines for canonicity...



But more than that... simply put, truth is truth, and you wouldn't need a set of guidelines to tell you explicity what truth is... simply because truth has the power to impact lives whether you believe it or not. For instance, a lot of books say that taking revenge in your own hands instead of waiting for justice is wrong and has devastating consequences. Now there are other books that claim the opposite.

Put these 2 opposing claims to the test... see what are the consequences of taking revenge, and decide which claim is true.

So along the same line, I'll add that even though we use guidelines, etc. to help us determine the truth of Scriptures...the million dollar question would be: what are the effects of living out those texts that you choose to believe in?

I'll quote from my friend's blog - like it a lot.
To those non-Christians reading this blog.. if we were to debate about the reality of Christ; just like any other debate, the one who wins is the one who goes in more prepared, who speaks better, who knows all the subtle tricks of argumentation (yes, it's true) , and the one who is able to command a greater presence in the discussion. The person who brought me to know Christ was a master at this.. and for the better part of a year I had to rely on these human arguments to prop up my faith.

Talk is one thing though. A person can leave the debating table defeated, but still unconvinced. I could win a debate with a "untrained" free-thinker, but what good does it do if I just focus on the arguments? Christianity is anything but sophistry. The more important thing that Christians can bring to the table, the biggest trump card, is the fact that God changes lives, and for the better. Various schools of moral philosophy, be it utilitarism, moral relativism or whatever you might mention - does not teach you how to live a rich and meaningful life. Christianity does. And that visible change is the thing that really draws people to God. All the arguments for God aren't worth a single penny compared to the power of a transformed life.

And the best part? You don't need to read philosophical tracts to be a Christian. You don't need an IQ of 140 to be a Christian. You don't need a net worth of a million dollars to be a Christian. Philosophy which requires an thinking mind, and induces headaches nonetheless. Christianity only requires that you believe, and you live it out. That's all.

In fact, God's existence is a fact that transcends other facts. I think if scientists say that "Oh, we've got it wrong all this while, actually Pi = 4" or "F actually is 0.9(ma)", or something along that lines.. well, it wouldn't really bother me. But God's existence is a fact that transcends all other facts, because not only it is a intellectual truth, but a emotional truth as well.

Christianity is not just about the visible outward signs - I dare say that church going, attending cell groups and all that is the lesser component of a Christian life. The far greater, and the far most precious part, is that fact the Christ changes lives, for the better.

God really has changed mine, hope you will experience it too one day..


Yup... really agree. 'cos to be honest, i also was a skeptic too. But there's this verse in the Bible that says very clearly: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation - the old has gone; the new has come!"

When i see what Christ has done in my life, and the many many signs and wonders - honestly, some of these signs and wonders really stun me - that God has so wonderfully done in my life... (of all lives, mine???? wow... He really got such a super-big heart for even small shrimps like me! :D :D :D!) Yes! ONLY Jesus can change HEARTS and ONLY He is the Saviour! When you have "Ah Longs" (loansharks aka tax collectors), prostitutes, murderers, brutal concentration camp guards, proud religious men, witch doctors, cannibals etc. turning to Jesus... whoa...... you see their lives... their hearts... even their very faces, eyes and physical appearances change for the better!

I know... I've myself seen the very transformation happening in these people's lives - others and my own too... i really have seen this wif my own eyes n i tell you the Good News of Jesus Christ is really true! Frankly, no religion or philosophy or self-improvement values etc... can change that hardest-of-all-things-to-change... the heart. Only God Himself can change that hopeless heart that keep doing hopeless things with a hopeless life and hopeless future ahead. Only God can save us from ourselves!

For surely there IS A GOD who loves us and has come to save us from this shit that we are all in - we all got ourselves into this deep shit, but Christ came to save us from it all... and He died for you and me... and best of all, He rose from the dead, appeared to over 500 EYEwitnesses... and told them to go tell the world about Him, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have life eternal!



So come, taste and see that the Lord is good! You'll like Him! :)

The Five Love Languages

Took this quiz... yup, it's true, words really are my primary love language n i love to be hugged too! How abt you? Do take time to try out tis quiz... :)

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation: 12
Physical Touch: 8
Quality Time: 7
Receiving Gifts: 2
Acts of Service: 1


Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Monday, April 17, 2006

A piece of Singaporean history: Who still remembers Teleview?

Was doing some reading on videotex systems for my Communications and New Media term paper, when I remembered Teleview... used it for a short while in 1995, when I was in Sec 2... (Whoa!That's more than 10 years ago... :)). Then the Internet came along, and I had to use a text-based browser to surf the net...

Yes, you read it right, it was text-based ONLY... gosh, think I really can tell my grand-children in future, "When I was your age, all our browsers were TEXT-only!!!" (and thump the floor with my walking stick for emphasis).

(Incidentally, the text-based browser (it's called Lynx) is still available, and pretty snappy to use too, though the mystical world of black-and-white text can be a bit disorientating for us non-geeks who've been dwelling in the wonderful world of Oz-like 24-bit colours of graphical browsers...)

So does anyone still remember that info-text system that we Singaporeans used back so long ago? :)

Oh Teleview, we hardly knew ye...

Sunday, April 9, 2006

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Had felt melancholic n quite ... just really feel that "paralysing" sense of gloominess. HYP, feelings of disappointment, guilt, etc. etc. Same things around again.

But praise God, He heard my cry for mercy... love Him so much. He reminded me of this verse:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved
us."


And the old demons went away. Surely the word of God is so powerful. Medicine for the soul, food for the hungry, water to the thirsty, honey to the bitter in spirit.

I'm glad that He has helped me breakthrough in some areas. Longing to share them with someone else, but think the time hasn't come yet. Wait for the Lord, be still and wait patiently for the Lord.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

T3: The Greatest Action Story Ever Told!

Alamak... this one is SUPER lame... can't stop laughing...

The Terminator and Jesus

Really like the last part... The Terminator says about Jesus, "Don't worry... He'll be back!"

Monday, March 27, 2006

He takes joy in me.

Decided to pray just now...
Prayed to God to help me understand why I'm not growing (i may be, but i really feel v uncertain if i am...)... then these words came to mind:
"trust"
"peace"
"the joy of the Lord is your strength"
"find joy in Me."
"[Jesus] Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
"[Jesus] I have come, that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Think Peter's advice is timely too... "Just enjoy [the HYP] while you're at it. Trust God."

touched... really feel so unworthy of His sheer love... yet He loves me so intensely...

wept just now, poured out to Him my feelings of frustration n overwhelmingness, bcos the psalmist says, "pour out your soul to Him, for God is our refuge..."

then feel very touched, think He told me that He takes joy in me.

Wow... take joy in me... wow...
really really very touched. :D

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Things that God pointed out to me during my reflection on today's experience:
1. I'm a very UNRELIABLE person. E.g. I told my supervisor that I'd be in by 1130 to demo my project, but I overslept and reached only at 230. It's not so much how my sup reacts, but rather how he'll see this unreliability issue - which has serious consequences for the working world.

2. I'm a very DWELLING person. RF and Flince had told me before, don't keep on dwelling... and lots of other ppl too, in the form of "Guard your heart". I agree... I'm really a person who keeps on dwelling, and when pple tell me that I'm dwelling or warn me not to dwell, I start dwelling on the fact that I've dwelled or am going to dwell!

Gosh... think the Spirit put this verse in my mind:
Psalm 37:8b "...do not fret—it leads only to evil."

Wow, His word is incredibly precise. He knows I love to fret.

Oh, here's another translation (from the New Living Translation):
Stop your anger!
Turn from your rage!
Do not envy others--
it only leads to harm.

Hey... yeah, that is very true of me too.

3. However, feel very touched - I believe He affirmed me for my cheerful spirit during CG time - and doubly touching when I saw how He'd arranged for me to HAVE to leave the lab so that I'd be in time to join my dear CG for jogging. :D
Super-refreshing... Yeah! :D Want to go and have a cheerful spirit - it really brings joy to other ppl, and also helps communicate Christ's joy to them too. :D

4. Something I learnt experientially about God's affirmation - which is true affirmation: True affirmation has the effect of making the affirmee want to do the good thing even more - especially because the affirmee has the affirmation what he/she is doing is GOOD in GOD's eyes.

Friday, March 10, 2006

What a day! :)

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include overnite.h
#include milo.h
#include assignments.h
#include hurry_your_project.h
#include mugging.h
#include stress.h
#include fellow_mugger.h
#include God_is_good.h
#include brothers_sisters.h
#include Word_of_God.h

typedef HOURS int;

const HOURS ONE_WHOLE_FUN_DAY = 24;

char* stuff_to_do[MAX_INTEGER];

HUMAN yeuann = new struct *CHILD_OF_GOD[EPHESIANS_1_3];

main(void) {
printf("Hello world.\n");
printf("

for (HOURS time = 0; time < ONE_WHOLE_FUN_DAY; time++) {
if (yeuann->isAwake == false) {
clock.alarm.status.on = true;
clock.activate();
}

if (yeuann->hungryStatus == true && (yeuann->pocketMoney > 0)) {
yeuann->pocketMoney--;
printf("It's feeding time!!!\n");
while (yeuann->hungryStatus) {
eat();
}
}

caregroup.fellowship(yeuann);

meet(hongtao);
meet(robert);
meet(marcus);
meet(calyn);
meet(nich);
meet(mich);

isEncouraged(true);

if (yeuann->isRefreshed) {
printf("Praise God!\n");
yeuann.smile();
}

time+=3;

go(lecture(NUS.LT34));

while (lecturer.lecturing() == true) {
yeuann.keep_eyes(open);
}

exit(lecture());

meet(alan);
meet(sijia);
yeuann.smile(2.0);

assignment(program());

HYP.status == still_not_complete;

rush_on == true;

yeuann.onHowDoISolveThisStupidProgrammingBug(recall(JAMES_1_5));

time = ONE_DAY - 1;

meet(qiaoping);

chat(qiaoping);

veryEncouraged == true;

time++;

blog();

printf("This must be the most \'wuliao\' blog entry I\'ve ever written.\n");
printf("Looks like I\'ve been doing too many programming assignments this week. :)");
}

thanksgiving_status = GOD_IS_GOOD + ALL_THE_TIME;

return thanksgiving_status;
}

This is what a Honda feels like

A choir performing a rendition of a Honda Civic... simply brilliant!

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Forgiveness, therefore there is hope.

Memories, lots and lots and lost lots of them, have been coming to my mind bit by bit today. Felt overwhelmed by my past sins, until this verse (it must be God) came to mind:

"If You, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with You there is forgiveness,
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in His word I put my hope."

He reminded me that He has forgiven me ALL my sins, and when I recalled that, I really don't want to sin against Jesus anymore.

Because I really don't want to hurt the God whose I am and who loves me.

Sunday, March 5, 2006

The difference between C++ and Java...

Say we create an array, and go out of bounds while accessing the array.

Java whines, "Massss-terrrr.... ArrayIndexOutOfBounds exception..."

But C++ spits: "Unhandled exception at 0x00402b1e in ImgSim.exe: 0xC0000005: Access violation reading location 0xabababb3."

No wonder C++ programmers eat Java 'grammers for lunch any day...

Saturday, March 4, 2006

Just to share a little something...

Really want to share this testimony of God's goodness to me and how He has answered my prayer just now:

Was feeling terribly guilty about the things tt i felt i really failed God during today. So shared them with God, and i remember i kept telling Him, "I really don't know, I really don't know..." as in, "God, why did You let this be? Why am I so weak? Why can't I serve You better? Why can't I be a more effective servant?"

Really wanted some comfort at that point, and was waiting for His reply. No reply, but just recalled some Bible verses, and think He also wanted me to go take my bath first. (Just as well... I had just come back from playing basketball and was stinking to high heaven. I'm not joking...)

So went off, and then since I had to go to the loo, I decided to take a book by John Ortberg to read. Read it, and wow, really thank God, realised He was answering my prayer for a word from Him. Read this chapter on "Appropriate Smallness: The Practice of Servanthood", and realised tt He was pointing out a LOT of things to me that I had done today, through the points that Ortberg was writing about in that book.

From his book:
Humility, if ever we could grow into it, would not be a burden. It would be an immense gift. Humility is the freedom to stop trying to be what we're not, or pretending to be what we're not, and accepting our "appropriate smallness." In Luther's words, humility is the decision to "let God be God."


And read this part from a story about the 2 founders of Alcoholic Anonymous:
Bill W knew that it was not because he was strong and Dr. Bob was weak that he was able to help Dr. Bob. Bill W could help because he was weak, and in helping, he received strength...

Like Bill W, we have to realize that we are not Superpeople or messiahs. We must embrace limitations. That is whence strength comes. God is not chewing his fingernails over whether or not we can save alcoholics.

We must minister out of weakness. The reason we help others is not because we are strong and they need us; it is because if we don't help them, we will end up a hopeless relic.


Wow... found this very meaningful. Think this helped me gain a new perspective, personally, on why I share my testimonies... because I know that if I don't, i WILL forget what God has done for me, and become very melancholic and negative. I share, not because I'm better, but rather, because I'm weak and I need to share to myself too the very testimony that I'm sharing with the rest of you.

Some key things thus learnt from this experience:
1. I realised some "trigger points" for my feelings of guilt - among them are the lack of approval from others (perceived or real).

2. Realised tt I was falling into the same trap again, trying to live up to my own standards of goodness instead of pursuing Christ's standards (which is way, way up high in the sky).

3. Realised my pride, and unwilling response to God when He wants to help me see my sins, faults and mistakes to me. Realised that my response isn't a sweet spirit that really thanks Him for pointing out to me, but rather a grouchy spirit that says, I'll repent if You stop pointing out to me this area of my life.
4. Reminded again that God is super-patient with me, and that very, very rarely does He shout at me, but rather, His Spirit when He speaks to me is VERY patient and gentle. I was expecting Him to scold me very harshly or sharply... (yeah, He can do that too), but instead, He chose to speak very gently and encouragingly through that book i read.

Wow... I really have A LOT to learn from His Spirit... He is "slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness..." So much different as compared to the way i very often speak to others...

5. Reminded again that God can answer my prayers in other ways besides the one that I was expecting. =) God is wise!

6. Books are like friends: Reading a good book is like being with a good friend. =) Thought about it - it makes a lot of sense. Logical conclusion: Be aware of the company of books that I read... if I hang out with sad books, I'll become a sad person... if I hang out with wise books, I'll become a wise person...

And if I hang out with textbooks, I'll become a very boring person! >=D

Wow... God is so so so good...

"How deep the Father's love,
How vast beyond all measure!
How great the pain of searing loss
As the Father turns to hide His face
As wounds which mars the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory..."

Thursday, March 2, 2006

This is the day that He has made!

Am sitting at my table, looking out of my Ridgeview room... it's a simply beautiful morning! Green trees, blue skies, golden drops of sunshine... a bird not just flying, but soaring in the air... and a gentle breeze that makes the "trees of the forest clap their hands"...

This is the day that the Lord has made! =D

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

"Dream no small dreams..."

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe