Today was a very interesting day. :)

I went down to have my photo taken for resumes. Think it didn't go very well - it's really hard to smile "naturally" in front of the camera. But thankful that I found the shop that Peter told me about. :)

Hmm. Still feeling quite mel and depressed even. I don't like those times when I do so.

But God is good, and His love endures forever! :) Amen!

Today subD meeting. We had restructuring. Hee, so the timing for my moving over to Adults ministry has changed to Feb. Quite disappointed when I heard it was going to be later. But then, why not? Praise God - in fact, originally, I wanted to stay back longer to serve as much as I can in the NUS ministry before I move on.

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thess 5:16-18

:)

Hmm. During the worship time, I think God impressed very strongly on my heart that I've been relying on my own strength too much, and not relying on His strength. No wonder I've been tired and weak on the inside. Confirmed by Jessie's prophecy. :) Thank You Jesus.

Then during Claramae's sharing, all three points spoke to me. It was from Romans 16, where Paul personally thanked many people by name who had served alongside him, even to the point of risking their lives for the Gospel.

1. Love God and men sacrificially.
2. Be diligent in serving God and men.
3. Remain steadfast in the Lord.

Something that she mentioned in particular struck me. What's my motivation for serving God, really? Is it because of Him, or is it because of the relationships that I have formed in the group?

And when my environment changes, will I still remain faithful to God?

It struck me that I've been serving partly because of relationships, that I want to serve others because I feel close to them.

But where is God in the equation, really? This ministry must be centred on God's truth, not humanistic thinking!

Hmm.

QP shared with me abt her major transitions. Very encouraged by how she made it through, serving God faithfully. I want to be like that too. :)

Hmm. i'm really dissatisfied with my life. I really want to have a greater heart for God. I want to hunger for the things of God even more! Thank God for my dear bros and sisters who set example for me in this area.

I really need Your strength and power and love...

"If we could see how much You're worth,
Your power, Your might, Your endless love,
Then surely we would never cease to praise..."

O God, hold me tight in Your arms.

Reminds me of what a poet living as a tramp wrote:
"O God, make small the old star-eaten blanket of the sky
That I may wrap it around me, and in comfort lie."

Yup, feeling challenged, but will joyfully rise up and face these challenges again, for I know Christ has forgiven me, and I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! aMeN!