An evening at Woodlands...

Was at Woodlands last night with a friend (let's call our friend "J"). To be honest, it's because I needed some help - was feeling rather down - and needed someone who had been through the same experience as me - in other words, someone who understands.



We met up at Woodlands and went to Yoshinoya for a bite. After some light conversation - thank God for J! - we joked, chatted, talked, and finally, I shared with J how I was feeling.



J listened, and smiled. Then J asked, "So, do you think people don't love you?"



I thought about it for a while... and nodded.



I'll keep it short here... J shared with me that God shows His love through imperfect people like you and me. And that "God's love is made perfect in us."

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.

(1 John 4:12)



If you feel unloved, it most probably is wrong (especially in the church!). Simply that people have been showing love to you, but not in the way that you would like.



Let's have a scenario:

One of your friends shows care and concern for you by looking out for your needs and blessing you with little treats here and there.



And he asks your other friends (in secret), "How is So-and-so recently? Anything that I can help him with?"



But you prefer to have more outwardly expressive forms of love - say, long, long letters or emails - and as a result, you fail to perceive that your friend really loves you a lot.



What is worse, after some time, you believe that your friend doesn't care for you - even though he really does - and you start giving him the cold shoulder.



He feels hurt, because of your response, and he doesn't understand why you're giving him the cold shoulder.



And in turn, you don't understand why he doesn't seem to show much care and concern to you.



Incidentally, this is a semi-hypothetical example.



So, what could be done here?



J suggested that I share with my friend my preferred way of receiving love - and more importantly, how my friend would prefer to be loved.



As Christ said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive."



Someone wrote a book (I believe it's Gary Chapman) on the "Five Love Languages". I think it's an excellent book: though it's meant for married couples, the principles can be applied to personal friendships too.



There were many more things that we talked about... too much to write here. But to my dear friend J, thanks so much - I feel much, much better after what you shared to me that night. I really appreciate it. :)



God bless you, J!