What Brothers Gotta Be

You know something? I was researching the Great Google just now. No prizes for guessing what my keywords were.

And as I waded through various articles on What Women Want (and lots of grinning Mel Gibson pics), I came across this very interesting article:

What About Just Being Me?

Ah. “What about just being me?” The words of a wussy who doesn’t want to leave his comfort zone.

“Just be your natural self” is another piece of awful advice dating and communication teachers tell people. In fact, being your natural self in many areas of life will get you into trouble. I know people don’t like hearing that, but regardless, we must always fight our natural tendencies to progress forward and become who we want to be. If you were always just yourself, then you wouldn’t grow to become anyone greater. You’d be stuck in your old bad habits.

By practicing these skills, you internalize them and only then does it become your natural self.

By developing my “attraction skills” and learning to trigger attraction in women that I wouldn’t have otherwise done, I’m not being my natural self. By practicing these skills, you internalize them and only then does it become your natural self. The difference is, now your natural self is what women want.

Being yourself is not a right. You do not have the right to be yourself. Being yourself is a privledge you must earn by constantly working on yourself and becoming a better man.

It sounds like an excellent piece of advice. It probably is.

Do you remember the debate about Courtship versus Dating?

One key argument for courtship is that dating is highly superficial, where both parties seek to impress one another, with brilliant peacock-like displays of hair, bling-bling and fine clothes. But courtship is much more realistic, because both the guy and the girl would have opportunities to see one another in real-life ministry settings.

Therein lies the problem within. One benefit of dating is that the guy is obliged to put on his best-looking appearances. Whereas in normal church settings, the brothers are called to be real and genuine with one another. So it seems to me that the sisters will see the not-so-pleasant sides of us too.

Do you see the dilemma here in which the brothers are placed in? On one hand, the sisters want to see the brothers more chivalrous, and on the other hand, it seems that our BGR framework calls for both sides to see the real (and potentially ugly) side of each other.

Now, just to clarify - I'm in favour of our church's BGR framework. It's just that our BGR framework is not perfect, since we are humans. All Scripture is God-breathed and perfect, but as we humans try our best to obey and apply the principles, we are bound to have weaknesses in our frameworks.

The above example is meant to illustrate a potential weak point of the BGR framework - since the brothers are not to try to put on good looking impressions for the sisters, they may tend to slack off...

But... I realise again, the key point is that it's not about being chivalrous or whatever to a particular sister. It's about being chivalrous to all the sisters around us. And that spells a socially-mature man.

Thus, I think for this weakness in our framework, it can be compensated for by exhorting the brothers in church to rise up above the world's standards and outshine the non-Christians by not only having the right actions, but also the right heart behind the actions.

Back to the article I mentioned. I'd take it with a hefty pinch of salt. Because it's humanistic. All self-help books are humanistic in nature. Yes, they are useful. But... they do it with the focus of self-actualization and self this and self that.

While such articles are helpful for the non-Christian, we Christians are called to a totally different world-view.

We are to train ourselves to realign all our actions and values to that of the very person of Jesus Christ, meaning, to be godly.

We are not called merely to do the right things.
We are called to an even better standard.
We are called to glorify God in all that we do.
We are called to be holy, because He is holy.

Therefore, let's consider: How would Christ behave towards women? And yes, Christ indeed is considerate and gentle to the women - no wonder the women wept for Jesus when He was carrying His cross... and yet even then, He graciously thought of them even in His pain and compassionately told them, "Women of Jerusalem, weep not for me... weep for yourself... [for terrible things will happen to you...]"

What Sisters Want (Edited)

Writer's Note:

I edited some changes here... sorry, this is my own perspective, based on what I understood of my sisters' sharing. There's bound to be some mistakes, so if you feel that I'm seriously mistaken... then just feel free to let me know! :)

But my key purpose in writing this is essentially that us brothers will have a better understanding of what our dear sisters in church are looking for in godly men... 

Hope this helps!

---

Recently, I met up two sisters. And we happened to start sharing about the brothers in church.

The sisters declared, "The brothers lack initiative."

"I see... what do you mean by initiative?"

"Well, as in for example, a girl would like a guy to come over and take the initiative to talk with her. Not huddle up in separate groups. You don't need to do big things for her - we girls can tell whether a guy is interested in us. We're very sensitive to these kind of things. Just take the initiative to talk, do simple small things. Now of course, I don't mean must go and do big things like give flowers every day... that'd make the girl feel uncomfortable."

"Orh I see."

Then I thought for a while.

My response: "Ok. Let me speak for the brothers. It's not that we lack initiative. On the contrary we do, but the sisters don't make it any easier for us to take the initiative. Hence we tend to be very cautious."

They nodded quietly, and thought about what I had said.

Then one of the sisters responded:
"I think it's not really about initiative then, but about the lack of social maturity in the brothers. I mean, among the brothers I see in my group..."

*******
To summarise the long conversation:

(I try my best to summarise... but it's always possible I may have misunderstood what my two sisters shared... but sounds reasonable enough to understand lah.)

What our sisters want from the brothers :

1. initiative in connecting to the sisters
2. social maturity
3. being easy to connect with, not making silly jokes and talking so much nonsense
4. being kind and considerate - not only to one girl in particular, but to all the other sisters too.

Some possible factors in the lack (apparent or real - since this is from the sisters' perspective) of social maturity in the brothers:
- Not enough male leaders to set an example in social maturity.
- We are arranged by life-stations
- Own family background too / Singapore culture in general?

I also thought about the way our church is arranged. We are arranged by life-stations. While this arrangement has its strengths, it also means that the younger ones have much less exposure to older people.

Like those from the Family group. We don't have them as role models, simply because we almost never see them. Thus, in part, we don't get to learn how we young men should treat our sisters.

But that may not be the only thing lah. Probably different cultures too. 'Cos even from the same family, two brothers may have very different ways of treating a lady.

*********
But... now let's think again. The question is, is it really a must for the brothers to be very socially mature? Because this is a cultural thing.

I think too often, we confuse consideration and kindness with acts of consideration and kindness. Is being chivalrous a biblical concept? Or is it merely a cultural thing that the sisters expect?

I'm not saying that it's a sin to be chivalrous. On the contrary, the principles on which it's based upon can be traced to Paul's exhortation to 1 Timothy, about treating older women as mothers, younger women as sisters - with absolute purity. And be it a Greco-Roman or a Chinese or whatever family, I think the principles of loving your family members are pretty timeless. :)

Still, I think some of our sisters might need to be careful that though they know that God has intended the men to lead and to set an example for the women, such expectations should never become breeding grounds for contempt and a judgemental spirit.

Or even worse, a spirit of comparison that gives the sister an internal justification for leaving the church to go after a non-Christian boyfriend.

Colossians cautions us: "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy which depends on human traditions and the basic principles of this world, rather than on Christ."

I think there is nothing more discouraging than a sister who keeps nagging a brother to "lead"... the question is, do they know what it actually means to lead?

Instead of criticising, sisters, I urge you, encourage us and help us know what your expectations are. You must understand that this culture that we are in is not a healthy ground for building strong men.

Consider the age in which we live in now - an increasingly fatherless generation, weak and timid fathers, men of cowardice, shallow portrayals of men... e.g. Edison Chen's irresponsibility towards the women that he slept with...

*********
I'll end with a story here.

I was standing in the MRT the other time, and saw a frail old lady standing too. And the entire carriage was packed full. And right in front of the old lady, a young teenage boy was listening to his MP3 player, listening to his music... all the while seeing the old lady standing up.

Well, of course, I wasn't too happy to see such a scene. But I wondered what I could do. So after watching the boy sitting there, self-absorbed, lost in his own world, while the frail lady stood there in front of him... I decided to ask the boy whether he'd like to give up his seat. But I hemmed and hawed until a few stops later, because I wondered how silly I'd look if the boy refused to.

When I did, the boy looked at me with surprise. He took his earpieces out of his ears. I repeated again, "Uh, Sir, can you give this old lady your seat?"

And to my surprise, he quickly got up and gave the lady his seat readily. To be sure, he was pretty paiseh, but I was glad to see his readiness to respond.

I mouthed a "thanks man" to the boy. And the old lady looked so appreciative.

So reflected, sometimes we guys can be really inconsiderate. Perhaps it's because actually we never had any role models to learn from. Today's society and media don't help much either. Edison Chen's escapades for example. We men often do what we do, simply because we are ignorant. So teach us, for we do not know what we are doing.

In any case, we brothers in Christ have to grow more Christ-like! Christ really treated the women very well - much better than the other men of his time.

Just some super-long contemplations.

Perhaps you can share your thoughts about what you think we brothers need to grow in? (There's always the Anonymous option...)

I'm serious, because I want to do my part to help us men grow in love for God and for the people around us - a wiser, deeper and more mature love.

Ministering to Socially Immature People

So, I think now, I can understand better, and am in a better position, by God's grace, to minister to the socially inept people. They are NOT to be condemned.

Often, I hear some brothers and sisters speaking in a manner that, perhaps, has the air of "we are better than them". That makes me feel quite uncomfortable.

Perhaps one reason why they do what they do is simply because they are ignorant. If Christ prayed for the Roman soldiers who were nailing him to the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing," then shouldn't we therefore pray the same thing? Shouldn't we be moved by the love of Christ to go forth and speak the truth in love to them, to guide them... to be a Barnabas to them? They may became future Pauls, for all you know.

"So from now on, we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!"

Of course, some people are still like that, because they don't want to listen. But why? Is it because of pride? Perhaps. Then they have a BIG problem - one that goes far beyond social immaturity.

But there is another option to consider. Perhaps it is because they simply don't understand the true extent of their ugly behaviour. Perhaps others have criticized them so much that they respond by withdrawing automatically from the hurts.

Perhaps their hearts are sincere, but this is the only way that they know, due to their family backgrounds. Then are we to condemn them? I think we might as well as condemn them for the way that their faces look. First look at the heart, then fix the behaviour.

Perhaps it's a potent brew of all these things. Pride, ignorance, hurt, family background, personality, mindset, faith, gender even... all these things combine to form a very complex situation. Occasionally more complicated than the software I work with. ;)

Another sister was sharing to me about someone we know in common. This person, she said, behaves in a such-and-such way. After listening to her concerns, and her suggestions about how the person's behaviour can be changed... I told her (paraphrasing), "This person came from a broken family. His/her parents didn't teach him/her proper social skills."

Her eyes opened wide in surprise. Then she fell silent, and slowly nodded her head in understanding. I think maybe she had a better understanding now.

Still, that's why I'm concerned about the fact that even within the church, we still admire people who seem to have everything together. We admire those whom we think very socially mature and very eloquent. In that case, we would have never regarded John the Baptist as the messenger of the Messiah, and we would have despised and rejected Him "who had no beauty or majesty, nothing in His appearance that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces, He was despised, and we esteemed Him not."

We so often scold people for their behaviours, rather than their hearts' attitude. Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I guess I feel very strongly about this, because... I have gone through both sides. Some years ago, I had a shepherd who focused on the way I presented myself, and in appearances in general. I did grow in external behaviours, but that only served to increase my pride and I started looking down on others whom I thought less spiritual than me. I even looked down on Weizhu last time...

But in the days to follow, God humbled me and then He gave me Weizhu (ah, the beauty of God's irony) and Peter to be my shepherds... =) and they taught me that God looks at the heart first and foremost. And the healing and growth began from there. I keep on thanking God for them, because they have impacted my life so, so much... because they made sure that I was right in heart with God first and foremost. Skills, looks, positions - they did not focus on these things at all, at all, at all - and they did well and good. God used Weizhu to show mercy to me, and Peter to show grace to me. And I don't use "mercy" and "grace" lightly - they really were channels of God's love to me.

As for my other shepherd? Well, he's not in Hope anymore... I'm not sure where he's gone now. I'm a bit sad when I remember him. But it's ok. :) God understands, even though I don't.

What else can I say... God is good, even to a sinner like me. =) Just hope and pray that I can help infuse Christ's mercy and grace to fellow sinners like me. Hee.

Another Growing Burden

I think there's a growing burden in my heart to see the men in my church strongly and effectively discipled. Felt very burdened yesterday when I was talking with two dear sisters, and they were sharing about the social immaturity of the brothers from a particular group. But haha thank God they said that the brothers from some other groups in our church are very, very socially mature, not to mention godly too. :) And how two brothers from the same family, but one came from a particular ministry, the other straight from Malaysia... the two are very different in how they relate with the sisters. So it's very much a cultural thing, it seems.

Still, I'm amazed that God has been increasing my burden to see the men discipled. I'm amazed, because I know He has called me to minister to the children. And yet, I also feel a deep burden - it's the kind that keeps you awake at night at times - to see my fellow brothers in Christ grow stronger and stronger together.

Maybe God is calling me to minister to the men too. Amazing, because knowing myself, and those who know me, I'm really less than the least of all God's people. God knows, and the people around me know, how socially inadequate I can be. Immature, I reckon, to a certain extent. But I think, and thank God, that the first step towards growing in maturity in anything is to realise that we are not mature. Praise the name of the Lord!

I am so amazed.

To minister to the boys, to minister to the men. Touching the young and serving the old. From generation to generation. I'm just so amazed to see what God can do, even through someone like me. God really chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong, the foolish things... the things that are not, to shame the things that are.

I am so, so amazed.

Maybe it's also because of my past. That I grew up in a household where my mum effectively called the shots. And my dad can be quite emotional. And truth be told, I think that is not particularly beneficial for the healthy growth of any child, boy or girl. A man really is called to be the head of his house - not an emotional or abusive or domineering head, but a wise, firm and gentle head.

And my social immaturity in the past too. The pain of non-acceptance that I experienced, even from within the church. But... the grace that I received, from people around me who loved me enough to accept, appreciate and even admire me, though I was so unlovely - that grace is so deep, amazing and powerful.

I am so, so, so amazed.

From Making Moral Choices, p.12, Oswin Craton:

It sometimes comes as a surprise to many Christians to be told that God can be proved. A number of us regrettably have surrendered valuable ground to the modern skeptics by refusing to defend our belief in God from a rational standpoint. This has been due largely to our erroneous ideas about the word “proof.” Having recognized that we cannot take a skeptic to a given place and allow him to see God with his own eyes, we somehow have concluded that God must lie beyond the realm of objective validity and must be accepted only on the basis of unsubstantiated faith.

The fact is there is overwhelming evidence pointing to the reality of God’s existence. While it is not our purpose in this treatise to examine these evidences in detail, it is hoped that we may encourage Christians who have been confused on this point to pursue further study. (An excellent online site devoted to Christian apologetics is www.DoesGodExist.org where one can find a wealth of information and many free books and video- and audiotapes.) God can be proved as adequately as anything can be, and we must not ignore the evidence or minimize the strength of our faith position.

Of course, even with all the evidence we may muster, many people will still reject God or will remain skeptical. This frequently results from an individual’s demanding absolute proof of God’s existence, as though existing evidences are not enough. It is true that God cannot be proved absolutely — but then neither can anything else. One cannot present absolute proof about anything, not even well-established scientific facts. These things may be proved with certainty, but not with absoluteness. As Blaise Pascal once said, “Who has demonstrated that there will be a to-morrow, and that we shall die?” These notions are accepted as fact, and reasonably so, but they cannot be proved in the sense of absolute proof. But they are not, as God often is, rejected on that account. It is interesting to wonder with Trueblood why so many people “demand of religious truth a level of certainty which is not demanded of scientific truth.”

After service and lunch, I lingered around the church bookshop. Then I saw some of the kids playing in the Europe room. Then, one of the boys - he's Jonathan from HopeKids - saw me, and came over. He asked me, "I don't have water... do you have?"

Told him i'd get water for him. (think the Spirit prompted me to go buy water for him.)

So I did. Handed the bottle of water to him.

He was surprised. And looked up at me with big, big childlike eyes, and whispered in surprise, "You bought this for me?"

I smiled and replied, "Yes, I did." Then I added, "God loves you!"

He was very surprised - and thankful.

At that moment, I took the opportunity to explain him that I bought the water bottle for him, because the Lord Jesus himself said, "And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."

So told him, when I give the water to you, I'm giving it to the Lord Jesus himself too.

Wow. Think he really saw God's love through this little gift of cold water... wow...

Anyway, we chatted a bit more. He also asked me, "How come you didn't appear at children's service today?"

I told him, "Because this month, I'm not on duty. I'll be back next month."

He looked again at me with doe-like eyes, and blurted out, "Oh... so long ah?"

Wah, thank God. Felt so appreciated and encouraged when he blurted those words out. It's really such a joy to be able to bless a little child in Jesus' name. 'Cos when I do, I'm impacting not only a life - I'm impacting generations to come.

Then imagine. Our children and grandchildren'll be singing:

Lord You are good
And Your mercy endureth forever...
People from every nation and tongue
From generation to generation
We worship You, hallelujah
We worship You, for who You are...

Children! They are the future seed of the next generation to come! For the kingdom of God belongs to such as these! Aye-men and hallelujah!

Yesterday's service was very good. It was on the Word of God. One thing Ps Jeff said stayed with me: "[Studying the Word of God] is not sexy, but it's important!"

Aye-men. Yah, I bought a Bible study guide (Cover To Cover) on Philippians. Hon Loong asked me last time (back about 8 years ago) to do an expository study on Philippians. But I still haven't finished it. Win already lor... haha...

But yeah, over the past few months, I've been increasingly convicted - it must be the graceful work of the Holy Spirit in my heart - that I really must know and understand the Word of God. To study it properly. Not just anyhow whack, but ensure that I feed pure spiritual milk to my sheep.

Not to blindly assume, but to study the Word in its proper context.

Maybe one day I'll go for Bible seminary course... oh yah, I took HopeSem.

Even though it's all right to just attend the course without doing the assignments - i.e. treat the HopeSem courses as Word for Life lessons - personally, I decided that I want to try a bit more. To see if I can try getting an A for the module...

And I tell you, the good HopeSem people don't make it easy. Gracious, yes, but uncompromising. Tenderly feeding you tough stuff. Pushing you to think. 20% CA just for class participation alone!

Haha... brings me back to NUS days... =)

Realized that I'm actually getting closer to being able to get a HopeSem diploma. Gosh! Never imagined that it could be possible. I'm trying for the Diploma in Tent-making. Not sure if God'll call me one day to go plant a church overseas. (And truthfully, I feel super-inadequate and unready for such a big and noble task. Both in skills and character.)

But yeah, the least I can do is to start preparing myself. Gird up my loins, pack my mind full of Bible knowledge, dig in the trenches, stockpile the ammo and rations... to get ready to land on the beaches! :)

NTU Weblog Ministers God's Love After Student Tragedy

Amid much questioning, debate and information in the aftermath of the tragic incident in which a Nanyang Technological University student leapt to his death after stabbing his supervisor in the back, an online Christian group is empathising with those in similarly troubled situations and affirming victory in God’s love revealed through Jesus Christ.

Formed by a group of NTU students from Faith Community Baptist Church, Love NTU posted the reflections of one member’s faith journey through depression in its weblog. [Read more...]

Read the blog article.
Read the blog itself.

Gosh. It's so encouraging to see that while we sometimes feel like a tiny, tiny minority among minorities in Singapore... things like this remind us that we're not the only "guerrilla bands" waging war against the spiritual forces of darkness. There's a whole bunch of other bros and sisters from other churches who love the Lord faithfully... and serve Him wholeheartedly! Yay! :D =)

May we all be one, united in Christ, united in the Spirit, united in the Father's love, that the world will know You have sent Your Son, Jesus Christ... amen!

Man, I Love Being A Man!

A dear sister recently emailed some of us brothers:

Thanks for teaching me what it means to love with the love of Christ :) Who say only woman value relationship..whoever says that, it's not true at all. Thks for being godly brothers I can learn from and be spurred on. I am priviledged.

Haha! Thank God... felt very encouraged, 'cos one complaint in the church is that the men don't seem to desire building godly relationships, and/or are very spiritually passive.

While that might be true, it's not supposed to be an indictment of the brothers. 'Cos even though we men tend to be less gregarious and social in building relationships, I think when we build friendships, we build it with less focus on the emotions, and more on the purposes of the friendship. And I think in a way, these kind of friendship among men, while less common, can be richer and deeper, and even more fruitful and purposeful, in extending the Kingdom of God. :)

Haha... thank God for the sister's encouraging words... so take heart, fellow brothers. Let's set an example for our sisters in building deep and biblical relationships. Let's be men of God after His own heart. Let's be men of courage, and do everything in love. A-men? :)

(Not to say that women cannot be godly or even more courageous than men... see Jesus' 12 disciples - all cabut except the women when He was arrested...)

But! Nevertheless, we don't have to be a "leader" in the official sense to start inspiring and influencing our sisters to live even more godly lives for the Lord... the key thing is obeying the Lord and training ourselves to be more godly!

Man, I love being a man. Haha... thank God for the Son of Man, who came to show us what it means to be a man! Aye-men!

Men of faith rise up and sing
Of the great and glorious King
You are strong when you feel weak
In your brokenness complete

Shout to the North and the South
Sing to the East and the West
Jesus is saviour to all
Lord of heaven and earth

Don’t Get The Gospel Wrong!

From a children's ministry newsletter that I subscribe to:

Recently I attended an event at another church for children. They had a special speaker who entertained the children with demonstrations of physical strength (breaking objects etc.) and then began to preach. He was good speaker and the children listened carefully to what he said. There was only one problem ...

He never really preached the Gospel. He told the children to respond by "asking Jesus to forgive them" but he never told what Jesus had done to save them. While I think this man meant well - he actually failed to mention the righteous life, sin removing death, or victorious resurrection of Christ. In effect, forgiveness was offered without preaching the cross!

This is something to guard against in all our teaching. We must never preach Jesus without his cross because the atonement is our only hope of being accepted before God. It is the message about the cross that we are commanded to believe in order to be saved

Mark Dever offers a good definition of the Gospel: "The good news is that the one and only God, who is holy, made us in His image to know Him. But we sinned and cut ourselves off from Him. In His great love, God became man in Jesus, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross, thus fulfilling the law Himself and taking on Himself the punishment for the sins of all those who would ever turn and trust in Him. He rose again from the dead, showing that God accepted Christ's sacrifice and that God's wrath against us had been exhausted. He now calls us to repent of our sins and to trust in Christ alone for our forgiveness. If we repent of our sins and trust in Christ, we are born again into a new life, an eternal life with God."

In our ministry we use a very simple Gospel outline called "Who Will Be King?" It tells the whole story of the Gospel in a way that children can easily understand. You can go and learn this presentation for yourself. It will help you to get the Gospel right...

Top 10 Things To Think If You Want To Change The World

1. It all starts with one person.

Know that all significant change throughout history has occurred not because of nations, armies, governments and certainly not committees. They happened as a result of the courage and commitment of individuals. People like Joan of Ark, Albert Einstein, Clara Barton, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and Rosa Parks. They might not have done it alone, but they were, without question, the change makers.

2. You are 1 in the world.

You have a unique purpose and potential in the world. It’s not so much something to create as to be discovered. And it’s up to you to discover it. Believe that you can and will make a difference

3. The small things matter.

Recognize that everything you do, every step you take, every sentence you write, every word you speak-or DON’T speak–counts. Nothing is trivial. The world may be big, but there are no small things. Everything matters.

[Read more!]

Around The World

"THIS BLOG IS ABOUT MY ADVENTURE AROUND THE WORLD TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THE ONE I LOVE AND I PRAY THAT IT WILL INSPIRE YOU TO DO LIKEWISE."

That's the description of Peter Truong's blog (he's an evangelist-cum-healing minister from the Hope movement)... I find the above words terribly meaningful.

I Grow Potatoes in My Ears

This is so gross that it's good! Who hasn't felt the secret, private, inner little thrill of putting in ear drops into your ears... that ooh-deliciously cool shiver that runs down your spine as you drip ear drops into your ear canals? Read on, and be thrillingly revulsed!

How God Delivered Me From the Cookie Monster Spirit

"Me want cookie!"

Recently, I've been snarfing down a lot of cookies. Been taking the lion's share of the cookies in our communal cookie tin. And my colleagues have been very nice about it. But they've said in a joking manner, "Oei, Yeu Ann, you eat all the biscuits but never buy for us..."

I initially replied, "MMMMHHHMRRMMMHMHUMUMUM!!!!! Me lurrvvve cookies!!!" (Ok, so I'm exaggerating.) But I started thinking about what my colleagues had been saying, even though they were saying it in a joking way. Because it's true. I struggle with gluttony from time to time, to be honest.

Then after praying about it, 2 Thess 3:8 came to mind:

"nor did we eat anyone's food without paying for it."

Ooh err! So I made a decision in my heart the day before to eat no more food that didn't belong to me without paying for it. Not to say that I pay my colleagues back directly. That's quite strange and potentially insulting to my colleagues' kindness and goodwill.

But, I've made the decision in my heart to, if I want to eat and eat, use my own hard-earned money to pay for it. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. Instead, I want to bless others instead...

So as I started this new habit of buying tidbits for my colleagues yesterday... It made me think... whoa, Scripture really has principles for every aspect of my life. It's so encouraging. To experience God's victory in every area, even the very seemingly non-spiritual aspects of my life, such as my Cookie-Monster rampages...

So, help me Lord! May You help me defeat the Cookie Monster within me! May the only thing that I go MMMMHHHMRRMMMHMHUMUMUM!!!!!! over be the Word of God! Yeah and Aye-men!!! 

B is for Bible, that's good enough for me! (Sorry Cookie-mon...)

Conversations With My Cousins, I

My cousin asked me, "Is your church charismatic?"

I replied, "Moderate charismatic."

But after that, I wondered, what did she really mean by charismatic?

One who goes for the manifestations of the Spirit?

And how should I reply when asked next time?

I think next time I'd ask back, "What do you mean by charismatic?"

"If you mean charismatic as in those who seek the manifestations of the Spirit in every power encounter, as a measure of how close God is to them, as the sole measure of how much they walk with God - not being aware of the Lord's warning about counterfeit miracles in the last days - then no. We're not charismatics. Boo.

"But if you mean charismatic as in those who learn to humbly ask for and receive the gift of the Holy Spirit, whom the Father is pleased to lavish on all who ask for Him, and who want to be empowered to live and walk in obedience to His Son, Jesus Christ, and delight in every measure of the manifestations of the Holy Spirit, as signs and wonders authenticated by the Word of God, as a demonstration of the Spirit's power to a lost generation... signs that draw men closer to Jesus Christ, the incarnate Word of God - and seeking to bear the fruit of the Spirit in exceedingly abundant measure day in day out, showing grace and living truth to those around us just as we have received grace and truth through Jesus Christ - then, oh yes, baby, we're shamelessly charismatic. Woo!"

:P

Conversations With My Cousins, II

I talked to another cousin yesterday. After a teary tribute by his sister and brother-in-law to my late uncle, I asked him, "Tell me more about Uncle. How is he like?" (And I realised my grammatical mistake... but well, since he has eternal life, it's still proper to speak of my uncle in the present tense. But I digress.)

My cousin was cheery-looking, but when I asked him the question, his face suddenly took on a strange expression. As though he seemed to be digging, flipping and recalling long-lost memories. Or he was trying to summarise his father in one compact statement.

And he remained silent, with that strange, bemused countenance of his, his hands softly holding a cup as he stood there.

I became puzzled. I quietly said to him, "I'm sorry..." (Because I thought I had caused him to feel the sense of loss again over his father.)

But he shook his head slowly, almost imperceptibly. He swallowed softly, and replied, "My dad was a disciplinarian." Then he fell silent again.

And his wrinkled eyes softly turned away to gaze upon an unspoken memory, while his daughter played with her cousins in the background.

I dropped the subject.

Somehow, I sensed the feeling of a deeper sense of longing that welled up from him. Perhaps my cousin had wished for a deeper knowledge of his dad - who certainly was doting, yet disciplinarian. That sense of a desire for a more complete and fulfilling father-son relationship.

Was he bitter? Was he angry? Was he sad? I don't know.

But this I know: I'm thankful for my dad who has told me that he loves me.

I just hope and pray that my cousin finds his peace with God, and hopefully one day, understand better his father's heart for him... I don't know how.

And it makes me think about how important it is to balance grace and truth - especially for a father. Not to exasperate nor to embitter their children. But to bring them up faithfully in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Words of Wisdom from LKY

Dehua shared with some of us this article written by none other than the man himself, Lee Kuan Yew...

To begin with, before you can put ideas into words, you must have ideas. Otherwise, you are attempting the impossible.

The written English we want is clean, clear prose - not elegant, not stylish, just clean, clear prose. It means simplifying, polishing and tightening.

Remember: That which is written without much effort is seldom read with much pleasure. The more the pleasure, you can assume, as a rule of thumb, the greater the effort.

When you send me or your minister a minute or a memo - or a draft that has to be published like the President’s Address - do not try to impress by using big words; impress by the clarity of your ideas.

I speak as a practitioner. If I had not been able to reduce complex ideas into simple words and project them vividly for mass understanding, I would not be here.

The communists simplified ideas into slogans to sway the people’s feelings - to get them to move in directions which would have done us harm. I had to counter them. I learnt fast. The first thing I had to do was to express ideas in simple words.

That's why I'm so impressed by President Obama. He communicates clearly and simply. Quite a few people have said that they'll be impressed only after they see the outcomes of what Obama has done. Their policy is simple: "Actions speak louder than words."

But is this true? I don't think so. Words are just as important as actions. Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

(And I'll add - Obama, whether he succeeds or fail, at the very least cannot be found guilty of not doing anything. At least he gave it his best shot, despite opposition. And that is really, I think, all that God asks of him.)

The spoken word has the power of life and death. I think LKY understood this principle very well. If not for his speaking skills, the communists would have won. It was a war of the words, and the destiny of an unborn nation lay at stake.

We speak often of how our faith should be founded on truth, not on feelings. But let us not negate the necessity of emotions, and the role of words in rousing the emotions. C.S. Lewis (and I think R. Zacharias too) spoke of such a necessity. Emotions are the catalyst and cement to help us hold the truth nearer and dearer to our hearts. As Lewis, a veteran of WWI's trenches, wrote in The Abolition of Man, "In battle it is not syllogisms that will keep the reluctant nerves and muscles to their post in the third hour of the bombardment."

And words, however crude though the sentiments they may stir up, are a means to guiding our emotions to whatever ends we desire - be it life or death.

Read the full article (do read it!) by LKY.

Edited: Weizhu suggested a better link. Thanks bro! :)

Five Qualities of Lifelong Learners

What are some characteristics of people who are lifelong learners?

1. Lifelong learners intend to grow, develop, and mature. I have found that much learning is "on purpose." Not all of us learn in the same way. However, I do believe that we are at an advantage when we desire to learn and intend to learn.

2. Lifelong learners know that there are many, many ways to learn. For example, I have learned much from reading. I can point to several biographies and a few other books as well that have been important in my growth and development. We also learn from people. This morning I had breakfast with one of the most gifted people I have ever known. For many years my friend has asked me important questions that have caused me to think about my life and about the way I minister.

3. Lifelong learners are humble. It is a good thing to learn from leading experts, top professors, and prolific authors. However, am I willing to learn from one of my peers? Am I willing to learn from one who has less experience or formal education than I? Am I willing to learn from someone who is younger than I am? Am I willing to learn from one I have helped to mentor? (See Cliff Barbarick’s excellent post.) Humility means that I could be wrong about something. Humility is to acknowledge that I may know very little, if anything, about a particular area of life or work and that I am willing to listen.

4. Lifelong learners have learned and are learning. (I read this somewhere but at the moment the source is unknown.) There is nothing arrogant about acknowledging that I have learned something. I have lived, thought, and studied for a number of years and I can honestly say that I have learned a few things about life and ministry. At the same time, I continue to learn. I don’t think that one ever arrives.

5. Lifelong learners maintain a healthy curiosity about life, God, and the things that matter most. So often men and women lose any sense of curiosity and settle for their self-imposed ruts. On the other hand, those who remain curious are willing to experience something different. Perhaps I listen to music I don’t normally listen to (easily possible if you use Pandora). Maybe I watch a television program about a part of the world about which I know nothing. I might take a different route home from work. At the restaurant, perhaps I could order something different. I have found that making such choices nurtures my curiosity. This curiosity is something I don’t want to lose.

What about you? What do you do to intentionally live as a lifelong learner?

I realised that I'm not that hungry to learn. In a way, I think my mind and my thinking lack depth. Breadth, perhaps it's there - but depth? It's God's will that as a Christian, my love abounds more and more in knowledge and depth of insight.

I lack hunger and eagerness to learn. Oh Lord, increase in my heart a holy hunger to want to learn more from the little things of everyday, the people I come across - to open bigger and bigger my eyes in childlike wonder and amazement to learn.

Lord, Teacher, give me a heart that yearns to learn. Like that of a little child. Isn't that the Way of the Kingdom? To be like a little child again.

Father, give me sight to see the light
That I may do what in Your eyes is right

Lead me in the way I should go
In every step Your Way to follow

Give me a heart to feel
So that I can truly be a person real

Bring me to where each day Your wonders are
To stand, see, smell glories that stretch afar

Give me an instructed tongue and kind lips
To know the Word that sustains the soul deep

And grant me ears that ache to draw near
To that still, small voice that is so dear.

So Send I You

Words and music: Margarat Clarkson and John W Peterson
© 1968 Singspiration.

F                           C7
So send I you to labour unrewarded
                                     F
To serve unpaid, unloved, unsought, unknown
                                   Bb
To bear rebuke, ot suffer scorn and scoffing
         F               C7  F
So send I you to toil for Me alone

So send I you to bind the bruised and broken
Over wandering souls to work, to weep, to wake
To bear the burdens of a world a-weary
So send I you to suffer for My sake

So send I you to loneliness and longing
With hart a-hungering for tthe loved and known
Forsaking kin and kindred, friend and dear one
So send I you to know My love alone

So send I you to leave your life's ambition
To die to dear desire, self-will resign
To labour long, and love where men revile you
So send I you to lose your life in Mine

So send I you to hearts made hard by hatred
To eyes made blind because they will not see
To spend, though it be blood to spend and spare not
So send I you to taste of Calvary

Bb     Am          C7   F   Bb C7     F
"As the Father hath sent me, so send I you"

I really, really love this song. I want to join Him in the mud, the rain, the trenches, the tears, the sorrows, the pain. To weep with Him is far, far better than to laugh without Him. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Two Trains of Thought and a Funeral

Just came back from my uncle's funeral wake. Was very surprised to see so many people there. But one stirring tribute from my cousins: "He was a man of character."

Gosh. :) His legacy - so many people.

And another thing: a lot of them were from his church.

It reminds me again that the Church really is meant to be the family of God on earth. From womb to tomb. And then we'll meet again in heaven.

=)

**************
Was walking around SMU earlier, to recce the place for CG tomorrow. Bumped into Huanyan. Pleasant surprise! And he gave me some good tips for CG venue. Ah, a veteran he is. :)

Anyway, was walking around, and just a bit lost in thought. Been praying about some things on my mind. And as I walked back home, I think I've finally got something figured out. I think I've forgotten about doing the work that He's called me to do.

I've been so worried and distracted over minor things (though they look big right now), but on eternity's scales - they'll be less than dust.

A verse that Yanjie shared with me last time kept coming to mind: "No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs-he wants to please his commanding officer." (2 Tim 2:4).

**************
So we have two trains of thoughts here, merging together into a single conclusion:

I have only one life to live. And it's terribly fast and short. How shall I live TODAY? Worrying about things that I don't even know? I mean, Jesus said that I can't add one hour to my life by worrying. (I'll probably end up subtracting!)

Lord, what have I been doing? I've been going AWOL in my heart, forgetting the mission that You gave me. You gave me a calling, You gave me a vision... and what am I doing about all this? The kingdom of God is forcefully advancing, but am I willing to help push my all, to answer Your call?

Tze Wei told us a very funny story last time. When he was much, much younger (which was a long time ago), he was on a missions trip in a van with some other people. But the van got stuck in the mud. So everyone had to get out and push, while the driver would restart the engine.

Thing is, the rear wheels would spin in the mud, and whoever was directly behind the van would get fully baptized in mud, in the name of Honda / Toyota / whatever model the van was.

So, one brother boldly spoke up. He said that someone must help to do the difficult work of starting the engine. And he would gladly volunteer himself for this challenging task.

Another brother bravely stepped up and positioned himself directly behind the rear wheels.

Tze Wei wasn't like that. He, not being so bold, decided to carefully position himself on the side of the van, and give a good-looking push.

So, when the van started up, the bro at the back of the van got the full power and glory and was instantly transfigured into Swamp Thing. But Tze Wei was spared that joy.

So, he snickered to himself. But, as he got back into the van, he started thinking about what he had done. He had looked good, helping to push, but conveniently standing at the side of the van. So he had kept himself clean on the outside, but who really was clean on the inside?

And he knew the answer to his own question.

Well, that was a very funny but thought-provoking story that he told us, because he wanted to illustrate to us that God looks at the inside, the heart attitudes, not the outward forms of behaviour.

But I also realise that in a way, this story also applies to me too. Am I willing to willingly position myself at the rear of the van, and receive the full glory of a mud-bath? To get my hands grubby and dirty, having fully thrown myself into doing the work of God? "To spend, though it be blood to spend and spare not..." And at the end of the day, exult together with Paul, declaring, through blood-soaked sweat and tears, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness..."

Or will I conveniently relegate myself to second division, to the sides of the van, where I show the world and the church that I am indeed lifting my finger to help push the van... but in reality, not pushing very much though I am capable of more. "...having a form of godliness, but denying its power..."

What will my life's legacy be
'Cos God has chosen and called me
But will I respond to His call
Or not give Him my all?

God is calling for volunteers, not conscripts! To fight a battle that will be hard-fought and hard-won.(Isaiah 6:8-9)

I've been starting to think a lot about what could be done. Should I sign up for YWAM? To help disadvantaged children? To become a full-time writer? A lot of possible paths and opportunities to explore. I don't want to spend the rest of my working life staring at the computer. I want to do something delicious for God. To let others taste and see that the Lord is good.

I hope I can do something more for the children of the world. Lord, what shall I do? There are so many people out there... and I feel so tiny. But a bruised reed You will not break, a smouldering wick You will not snuff out, till You lead justice to victory. In Your name the nations will put their hope.

I don't know how. But I pray that as I surrender more and more of myself to Him, He'll make me into a useful person, to bring Him joy and pleasure. Yup! :)

Oh Lord, my God. Guide me and lead me... I throw myself once again, this gormless deserter, back into Your everlasting arms.

In Jesus' most precious name, amen.

Romance of the True Kingdom

I'm currently reading through our church's Romantic Toolbox (yes, that is such a romantic name... haha!).

And as I read and reflected through it, I realised that I have some thought patterns.

E.g. if I see a sister I like, a thought that would tend to jump to mind is: "Is she the one for me?" And I would start seeing angels ascending and descending on her, to the tune of the Hallelujah Chorus.

Unfortunately, that only hinders the healthy process of getting to know her better as a friend, first and foremost.

I have a natural tendency to rush into things I'm excited about. Be it DoTA, or be it love. And as a result, I get pwned. :P

Very interesting, and amusing, to learn all these things about myself - especially the silly parts of me. But with God's help and the church's help, I'll grow to be more mature in this area in time to come.

Till then, I've resolved, with some prayer, to change this thought tendency of mine. 'Cos I know how unreliable my interpretations, how fickle my feelings can be and how confused my choices can be. Thank God His love is not like mine - His love never ceases, never fails! 

To think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. 'Cos I want the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart to be pleasing in my Papa's eyes.

'Cos I want to have the mind of Christ - not to think in my old ways anymore, but to think like Jesus would think... (I wonder at this point - did Jesus ever have a liking for any girl? I mean, he's 100% man as well you know...)

Yup and Aye-men!

The Need to Study Christian Ethics

This is an excellent excerpt from one of the reading texts that we were assigned for the Christian Ethics course.

One might ask that since most of those who would choose to read this book already are Christians or are at least people who choose to live by the Judeo-Christian ethic, why should we devote so much effort to elaborating our topic? No doubt most of us know and likely agree that we get our direction from Scripture and that Scripture gives us certain rules to live by. We might cite, for example, St. Paul’s statement to St. Timothy that “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (II Timothy 3:16, 17). In light of such a statement one might ask, Why go into an analysis of our system? Why not just let Scripture speak for itself?

Such an attitude might be fine if it were true that Scripture gave us rules to govern every waking moment of our lives. In fact, however, it does not. But before we assume this should in any way minimize the position of Scripture in the Christian’s life, let us first set about to define a few terms.

When we say that Scripture provides rules to govern all aspects of a Christian’s life, if we are speaking in everyday language most likely we would be understood correctly. However, ethically speaking, we have to be a little more careful with our use of certain words and must define our terms carefully. Properly speaking, a rule is a law, a command, a directive that is very concrete. An example of a rule would be “Do not get drunk” or “Pay your taxes.” These are rules, specific guidelines that are absolute and about which there can be no discussion.

In Scripture we find the Decalogue [the 10 Commandments] a perfect example of divinely given rules which spell out in unequivocally concrete terms God’s will regarding certain areas of human conduct. Likewise, much of the Old Law consisted of hard-and-fast rules that dealt with both ceremonial and social behavior. Although the New Testament is far less legalistic in these respects, there are examples of rules to be found there too, such as the command not to commit sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 10:8) and the command to pay our taxes (Romans 13:6). If the Bible spoke thusly about every facet of our lives, there would be no need to study Christian ethics. Everything would be clear-cut and unquestionable: We either would choose to follow the rules, or we would not.

But the truth is that Scripture does not tell us everything about everything. Even under the Old Law in which so many facets of human conduct was governed by scriptural rules, there yet remained a large number of areas of conduct unaddressed by specific guidelines. Because of this, the Pharisees attempted to compile rule books that would outwardly regulate every hour of the Hebrew day and would cover every conceivable situation that could ever arise. As we know from the New Testament, Jesus stood solidly opposed to such legalism as that exhibited by the self-righteous Pharisees, because He knew that true morality comes from a man’s heart and not from the outward adherence to a list of do’s and don’ts. For this reason Scripture does not always give us clear-cut examples of what we should and should not do in every situation. It does not speak specifically to many questions in human life. If one searches a Bible concordance, for instance, one will not find passages of Scripture that mention abortion or masturbation or genetic engineering or even passages that give precise, unequivocal answers to many of the questions regarding marriage and divorce. In these matters, which fall into what we often refer to as “grey areas,” we have to rely on the guidance of the Church and reason out for ourselves, with the Lord’s help, to discover what our answers to these questions should be.

But God has not left us directionless in these grey areas. If we go back to our former statement that Scripture provides rules that govern all aspects of a Christian’s life and understand that term in the everyday sense of the word “rule,” then we would be correct. If we understand “rule” to mean principle (which is the correct word, ethically speaking), then we could see that Scripture does in fact give us principles to govern every aspect of our lives, even the grey areas. As St. Paul said to St. Timothy, “All scripture ... is profitable ... for every good work.” His statement was not that Scripture gives us all the rules to determine for us all the decisions of our lives, but that the precepts it provides are profitable in allowing us access to the truth so that, even in the areas of life in which a specific rule cannot be appealed to, we nevertheless may be fully equipped to know how we ought to glorify God in our conduct.

In the example cited earlier concerning the biblical prohibition against drunkenness, we find that not only in this case does Scripture provide us with a rule but (which is more important in our study) that there is behind that rule an underlying principle. This is significant because, by and large, the New Testament does not speak to us in terms of rules so much as it speaks to us through a number of divine principles. From these principles and the direction of the Holy Fathers of the Church, we are to work out our answers to the various questions in life. But because we often are called upon to answer for ourselves does not imply that we are without direction in choosing our course of action. These biblical principles themselves serve as directives for us in determining our proper responses to the numerous ambiguities of life. It is up to us in many cases to use the abilities God has given us to reason, study, and determine for ourselves what He expects of us in given situations. Though of course we may seek guidance of our spiritual fathers, the decisions ultimately lie with us individually, and it is greatly reassuring knowing that God has not left us directionless.

In saying all this, however, we do not intend to imply that we should attempt to free ourselves from spiritual guidance and rely only upon our own resources. What we are saying is that we must not expect to find concrete answers to all our ethical questions in Scripture or Canon Law. God did not intend for His Word to take the place of our own spiritual development. He expects us to utilize our intellect in the formation of our moral and ethical decisions. It is not as though we must suspend the normal thinking process when we approach our ethical choices in light of the Christian religion, but we are instead to exercise our intellectual faculties while being guided by divine principles.

Jesus told the multitudes in St. Luke 12:54-57 that since they were able to determine from the evidence available to them what the weather would be like, they also should be able to judge for themselves what is right. Likewise St. Paul in I Corinthians 11:13 instructed the Christians at Corinth to “use their heads,” so to speak, and judge for themselves about the question of whether a woman was to pray with her head uncovered. We might also look to St. Paul’s example in Acts 24:25 where it states that he reasoned with Felix about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come; or in I Corinthians 14:15 where he says that he will pray and sing not with the spirit alone but also with the mind; or in Romans 7:25 where he says that with the mind he serves the law or God; or in Romans 14:5 where he instructs every Christian to be fully convinced in his own mind. Our minds were created by God and are to be used in His service. Christianity, unlike so many of the world’s religions, is a rational religion. It does not ask us to bypass the mind, but instead asks us to utilize our minds in the greater service of our God.

This is a very important point, because the spirit of anti-intellectualism has been very prevalent in many Christian circles in recent decades. Many religious groups have stressed the importance of the Christian “experience” to the degree that the rational process has been rendered practically taboo. But when we reject the mind and the rational process then we also must reject authentic Christianity, because it demands the use of our minds as well as our spirits. Without rational constraint we are left with nothing more than a religion of superstitious vagaries. As Elton Trueblood has said, “However bad some arid intellectualism has been, anti-intellectualism is worse, since it provides no antidote to either superstition of wish-thinking.”

Had God not expected us to use our minds in His service He surely would have given us that neat list of do’s and don’ts asked for by so many people today. But the fact is He wants all of us, not just a part; He wants our minds as well as the rest of us to serve Him. Therefore He addresses most issues not with rules but with principles, and from these principles we are determine the proper response.

Why did God choose to arrange things this way? Why did He not simply give us a collection of absolute rules to govern our lives, much as He did for the Israelites of old? One reason is just as we have discussed: He made us to be rational, thinking beings, and He desires us to use these abilities in our service to Him. But beyond that He also wants our obedience to Him to be voluntary, given to Him from a free heart. Rather than having us all walk about like automata simply following an endless list of rules and regulations (which can be done without emotional content, as the Pharisees clearly demonstrated), God desires instead a loving response to His directives. Just as we expect our children to grow beyond the simple obedience to household rules to the place where they begin to obey our directives out of love and understanding, so God desires that mankind grow beyond the legalistic precepts of the Old Law (which served as man’s schoolmaster) to the place where we all obey His directives out of love and out of a true desire to do the right.

Furthermore, we as Christians are not called to conform to some arbitrary legal code set up as an external standard of behavior, but instead we are called to liberty in grace. We are not bound by law as a means to salvation, but we have received salvation through grace as a gift. Having thus received this gift from God, we are asked only for a loving response — a response that comes out of gratitude and not out of a sense of legal obligation. God does not desire a legalistic obedience to a set of rules, but the opening of our hearts to His will. As the prophet Micah put it, “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).

************
I remember Robert, WZ, Yanjie, Peter and I were discussing during our CNY gathering in my room last time, about the importance of having a clear and correct understanding of what the Bible actually says. And just recently, WZ and I had supper (frog's leg porridge) and we were talking about this again.

There's a danger - especially, I think, in the student ministries - of people following frameworks without the proper understanding or explanations to accompany them. And the worse thing is that these frameworks become canon, and the Scriptures used as scaffolding for these frameworks. Putting the cart before the horse.

I'll share a real-life story here.

I remember last time, when I was in the uni ministry, I was eating my dinner, but couldn't finish it. Then one sister looked a bit shocked that I hadn't finished all my food. She said to me, "Yeu Ann, I was told that it's a sin not to finish your food!"

I stared back at her.

"Eh... what do you mean? How is it a sin not to finish my food?"

As far as I could remember, she couldn't give a reply to that, but she simply repeated what she said: "It's a sin not to finish your food!"

And I didn't know what to say (or what the Bible really said about not finishing my rice), so I just tried to finish the rest of my now-tasteless dinner. And felt a bit guilty about it through the night. A bit of indigestion, there.

I think it's important to know what Scripture says - and what it does NOT say. Else we risk laying unnecessary burdens on the young Christians. (And making them get indigestion through eating too much rice...)

THE 2 COMMUNICATION STYLES

Taken from Jiayan's blog - this is so relevant man!

I'm definitely the Emotional talking style. :)

Let me know which type you are!

I find this pretty interesting...

There are two styles of communication, Emotional talking style & Logical talking style.

People with the Emotional talking style use words to express their own feelings and what they feel from another person. This talking style use a stream of consciousness to express and release emotional states. Feelings guide this talking style.

While these people may be logical in their mental processes to do a job or to function in the world, their Emotional talking style will determine how they connect with another person in a close relationship. Having the same style of communication in a relationship provides an important tool for working out personality differences.

People with an Emotional Communication Style often drop hints about what they desire. They do not think it's necessary to be more specific because they're able to pick up on the nuances of what other people say, and they assume everyone can. Yet people with the Logical Communication Style need you to say what you mean. They don't want guesswork; they want directness and clarity. Result: ambiguity and conflict.

People with an Emotional Communication Style take time making decisions. They need to figure out how they feel, and this isn't always cut and dried, so they do not like to be rushed through the process. That can come across to the Logical Communication Style person as being dimwitted or indecisive: "Can't you just look at the facts and decide? How complicated could that be?" Result: condescension and conflict.

People with an Emotional Communication Style see the Logical Communication Style as being hyper-intellectual, out of touch with feelings. "All those people do is think, think and think some more."

Someone with an Emotional Communication Style wants you to feel what's behind the words, which is the most important part of the communication.

Someone with a Logical Communication Style takes the words at face value, analyzing the meaning of each one and deriving a total meaning from the sum of those parts.

For instance, one person says, "I hate you," meaning, in the Emotional Communication Style, "My feelings about this are so big that I need to express myself forcefully." Once said, that releases the emotion, and it's over.

However, in the Logical Communication Style, this means it's time to starts packing the bags. Hate=no love=the relationship is over.

Result: miscommunication and conflict.

People with Logical talking style use words according to their dictionary definitions. They lay the words out like they are building a brick wall. They ask many questions to make sure they understand so there are no holes in the wall. They don't like loose ends or assumptions. The background or circumstances of a situation can be as important as the event itself to the logical talking style person. They are natural born problem solvers and often have good mechanical skills. The logical talking style relates only to how a person uses words to communicate.

These people may have an emotional or sensitive nature but that is a different consideration from their talking style.

The person with a Logical Communication Style often stops the person with an Emotional Communication Style to clarify what's been said. The questions are reasonable in the Logical Communication Style. However, the questions break the stream of consciousness that's characteristic of the Emotional Communication Style, which follows feelings, not reason.

In the Emotional Communication Style, a person just wants the opportunity to express emotion without interruption. Yet the person with a Logical Style wants it to make sense. Result: frustration and conflict.

(whoa. precisely. that's why I feel frustrated sometimes when one of my friends halt me to try and make sense... I'm, like, ah... can you hear me out first? listen to the feelings, not the logic... the logic will come in later!)

The person with a Logical Communication Style often seems authoritative to someone with an Emotional Communication Style. People with an Emotional Communication Style can feel put down by the Logical Communication Style and may respond by being insulting, perceiving that they are responding in kind.

In a long-term relationship between people with mismatched Communication Styles, you can hear strain or urgency in the voice of the person with an Emotional Communication Style as he or she is constantly on the defensive, trying to maintain some sense of equality. Result: stress and conflict.

Different Styles of Communication can leads to:
* Misunderstandings and overiding irritation with one another
* Significant energy drain
* Different friends and interests
* Difference sense of humour

Robot Chicken-Star Wars

It's freaking funny!

Classic quotes:

"I'm sorry i'm sorry. it's just the death star was blone up by a bunch of (bleep) teenagers..."

"What the hell is an aluminum falcon anyway?"

"padamame, or panda bear, or whatever the hell her name is"

Makeup For Glasses

I normally never surf make-up videos. Ok, I did go for make-up lessons back in school, but that was a different kind of make-up.

But! this is very interesting. So thought I'd post this one up. :)

We Were On TV!!! Okto Live!

Today the HopeTV team went down to MediaCorp at Caldecott Hill to watch a live studio recording of the show, "Okto Live!"

So cool... we were all awed as we walked into the studio, and got to see all the equipment, emcees, planted supporters and even two celebrities... cool yeah? =D

Then, we were ushered to the viewing seats... and we suddenly realized that we were all going to be on TV, live!

We gasped.

Stephanie turned to Guanghui and exclaimed, "You never tell us!!!" Guanghui could only sheepishly grin, hold up his hands and say, "I thought you all watched Okto Live before!"

I replied, "Wah lau! We working adults no time to watch what... haha!"

Anyway, it was all in good fun... Stephanie kept snapping shot after shot.

And during the show, there was a quiz of sorts... and Weizhu helped one of the emcees answer a question... so guess what? The cameras turned to him... haha... I think half of Singapore got to see WZ's reaction... like a deer caught in headlights...

=D

I wonder if they gonna YouTube the show.

Anyway, at the end of the show, Stephanie eagerly went up to the front, wanting to take photos with the celebrities. Haha... I joined her to support her... and the rest of us flocked around. Guess we'll be seeing our mugshots on Facebook soon... LOL...

Ok, hopefully can post photos soon!

It's Raining Rainbows!

Oh thank God! Today I got to see another rainbow! =D The rainbow was so ... colourful! =)

Anyway, told some people about it. Yufen replied,

Waoh,wed,thur,sun n tdy,ppl told me tt they saw rainbows wor! So many rainbows all of a sudden! =)

And Jon said something very insightful to me over MSN just now:

Eruánion, Choirboy, Usability Critic, Precise Pronouncer, Icemoon's Editor says (12:11 AM):
actually, as I looked at the rainbow, and thought about the recent spate
Eruánion, Choirboy, Usability Critic, Precise Pronouncer, Icemoon's Editor says (12:12 AM):
I was thinking, this couldn't happen at a better time
because the [economic] situation around us still isn't all that good
so at least the rainbows give us a sense of hope

And he added, "I think many of us wonder if there is any hope to speak of, so it's God's way of broadcasting hope to those looking for it. Thank You so very much, for putting up sky-wide billboards to remind us all that You're still in control."

Woah. I didn't realise that. Think can share with our non-Christian friends about the rainbows... that there is hope! =D

Yes, though even Citibank may fall asleep,
Our heavenly Father will never slumber!
So rest in His love sogreat and deep,
Even when troubles seem too many to number!

And Joyce added,

yup
i think it's God's reminder to mankind
that he is still there!
v v interesting tt we can see so many rainbows these days
cos maybe God doesn't want us to miss him
he makes sure everyone gets a chance to see the rainbow
hehe

Something that struck me though. I noticed that as i walked along, staring at the rainbow, almost everyone else were just walking along quickly, holding their umbrellas and not looking up at the sky. I even tried telling one stranger that there's a rainbow up there. He just casually glanced up and then looked away.

Gosh.

Still, thank God for His love that never fails. His creation still keep on speaking loudly their voiceless words, as Psalm 19 so beautifully proclaims:

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.

This rendition of "Take My Life" is so piercingly beautiful, that I think my sound system couldn't handle it properly. Gosh. =)

I know I've quoted this song again and again. But it's such a relevant and true song, though it was written back in the 19th century.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

In this age and time... when one feels confused about cultural expectations - perhaps even within the church? - it's good to remember that at the heart of it all, true discipleship comes not from the roles or the posts or the ministries that you do, but from the heart within. A heart willing to throw everything aside and throw itself into the hands of Him who sought us and bought us.

So, after a good talk with Peter today, and a thought-provoking sharing from Weizhu, it's time for me to renew my decision to totally surrender myself anew to Jesus my Lord and Master.

I need to daily crucify the old rebel in me, to ruthlessly bring him to the foot of the cross. I want to be totally, absolutely, unconditionally His. And WHEN I fail Him, I know that He still looks at me... and will ask me that piercing question: "Yeu Ann... do you love Me unconditionally?"

So here I am, Lord.
Take me, all of me
Once again, oh my God
I throw myself unto Thee.

Just feel a bit sad. I wish I'd gone back earlier today, instead of playing Left4Dead. Then I might have caught another rainbow today! :P

I think sometimes we miss a lot of God's blessings in life, simply because we settle for the fun man-made things instead of the pleasures that come from the hand of God.

Psalm 16:1

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Cuong's Wedding

I went for Cuong's wedding last night. It was so simple, but so heartwarming and sweet. (Haha WZ, I'll tell you more. Think you might like to try using this format.)

And its simplicity didn't detract from its fun - one of the more boisterous brothers came up with an impromptu list of 'saboh' items. Absolutely hilarious. Since they're Christians, they didn't make Cuong and his lovely bride drink beer, but... they brewed an insanely powerful cup of herbal tea for them! Best!

And the killer laughter moment was when Cuong's bride looked at her cup overloaded with the Insanely Powerful Herbal Tea. Then she looked at Cuong's cup. She proceeded to transfer some of her share into poor Cuong's cup. And sweetly smiled at him. Poor Cuong could only stare and grin. What an auspicious start to their marriage... ROFL! We all cracked up totally.

I got seated at table no. 3, which was with a few families. Their kids were there too - the table was overflowing with kids. And I absolutely loved it. Chatted with the parents, and I was so blessed by their sharing. =)

Most of the guests there are from the Navigators. Since Cuong was from the Navigators. Anyway, as I was chatting with some of them, they asked me whether I was Cuong's friend. I told them yes, and that I had brought him to Christ.

Then their eyes opened wide, and they exclaimed to me, "So you are the one!"

"Huh? I am the one? What one?"

"The one Cuong was telling us about! He had told us that someone brought him to Christ..."

Gosh! To be honest, I felt so honoured when I heard that. Hee. And I really thanked God for his mercy. That He used someone like me to touch a life. In a way, Cuong may not be having a Christian wedding if he hadn't received Christ. So God graciously gave me the privilege of being the one who had brought Cuong to Christ, together with Dehua. And no one else in the world could have this special privilege. It's just like an inheritance.

I think this is part of what God meant when he says that we his children are co-heirs with his Son in this spiritual inheritance.

But was also thinking, that since the Navigators had been reaching out to him too, he might have come to know Christ anyway. It's just that God chose to use Dehua and me to lead him to Christ six years ago. So ultimately all the glory goes to God alone.

=) Hee! Anyway, got to meet up with another old friend from NUS. Bin Bin. He's from China. And he told me he received Christ last year! I was so surprised, but so happy. And I said to him, "Wow, I'm so glad to hear that... brother!" And he grinned.

He shared with me enthusiastically, even though he's naturally quite shy, about what God has done for him. He had gone through a period of meaninglessness, but met Christ through some friends. And he told me that now, instead of playing soccer and endless hours of computer games, he now goes to church on Sunday.

When he said that, he said it in such a childlike kind of joy, that I knew that he dearly treasured this new meaning that he has received from Jesus Christ. It made me think about how much do I treasure the simple fact and privilege that I am actually a member of God's family?

That I can actually go to church every Sunday?
That the worship songs I sing can actually mean something to me?
That I can actually partake of the Lord's supper?
That I can actually read the Bible and understand what it says?
That I can actually pray and hear from God?
That I can actually be forgiven of my sins?
That I can actually pray for someone else?
That I can actually serve other people in Jesus' name?
That I can actually lead someone to Christ?
That I can actually be baptized in the Holy Spirit?
That I am no longer an alien, but a member of God's family?
That I can actually have a new birth, a new life, a new hope and a new future?
That I can actually go to heaven when I die and be with the Lord forevermore?

Wow. And the joy in his eyes, and his childlike confessions of faith really ministered to me. I felt so happy I wanted to hug him. But paiseh lah, our culture cannot lah. So I just shook hands with him. =)

So many other things, but was very refreshed. The whole atmosphere had such a simple joy about it. It really felt very family. Haha... I hope and pray that my wedding next time (in future) can be like this too, with the atmosphere of the family of God, and joyful laughter and love filling the whole place. That my non-Christian family and friends can know that we are His disciples, if we love one another.

Yeah and amen!

Psalm 100

Was meditating on Psalm 100 just now. It's a psalm for giving thanks. I think one purpose of the psalms is to help us remember precepts and principles. Not just remember mentally, but remember in the heart. Because music and meter have a powerful effect. They help us remember it emotionally too.

"Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs. [...]
Enter his gates with thanksgiving,
and his courts with praise."

We worship God, come before him, enter his gates and his courts every Sunday. But this psalm made me think. Later on I'll be going for Sunday service, as I've done every week (mostly) for the past ten years.

But how many of these times did I worship him with gladness? With joyful songs? With thanksgiving? With praise?

Then, I thought again.

Why am I thinking about "how many of these times"?

That sounds rather legalistic, actually. A forced smile, a constipated prayer.

But that's not what Psalm 100 is telling us to do. It reminds us why we are to give thanks.

"Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are hisl
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. [...]
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Did the Lord do something incredibly sweet for you ten years ago?

And did the Lord do something incredibly sweet for you ten minutes ago?

And... to take the helicopter view, the bigger picture:

I've been through the JC, NS, NUS and Adults ministries. And, I'm also in children's ministry.

I've seen people dance for joy before the Lord, and worship Him reverently - be it the young children or the old people.

I've seen with my own eyes thousands of people worshipping the Lord, people from all over the world, from every nation, tribe, people and language.

I've seen so many churches gathered together in unity under one Name in one National Stadium to pray for this beloved tiny little nation of ours.

"For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."

So let us give thanks to the Lord, especially in service! :)