Sunday, December 17, 2006

Just came back from the Makan Bus outing. Whee! :D Really thank God for all the bros and sisters who put their hearts into making this event a success... very pleasantly surprised too, at how Swee Leong's testimony made it so easy to slide into a spiritual conversation with one of the visitors... wow, really thank God, praying that this new friend will come to really taste and see that the Lord is GOOD! Maybe not now, but I have faith that God can use whatever we've shared to plant a little seed more into his heart... :D

Really thank God also for how He answered our prayers yesterday... because we had only one visitor from our CG, despite our invitations... but at the last minute, we had another friend coming, thanks to Eugene... wow... God really is faithful! :D Yup, really a joy getting to know these friends better... hee hee...

Such a sweet time too, under the stars at Esplanade. Praise God that He kept the weather beautiful the entire night... no rain... thanks to Him who rules the skies above! :D

Yup... Christmas' coming... feeling more and more excited... though my friend didn't come today, seeing how God brought another visitor to come... this encourages me that with God, all things are possible! Amen! So will earnestly fast and pray that my friends can come for the Christmas service as I invite them!

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Some thoughts about Christmas... what gift can we give Him for His birthday this year?

(Think it's quite funny in a way, celebrating the birthday of God... yet it's amazingly true, that He who is the First and Last, the Beginning and the End, who was before Time began, should have a birthday... but wow, yes, He really knows how a human feels - including a birthday celebration!)

Pastor Jeff's sermon today made me think. He said (paraphrasing him), "We can bring Him a gift too, a gift even more precious than gold or incense... we can bring him the gift of our lives!"

Because I've been thinking about my life recently this week. I noticed how some brothers and sisters, even the very much younger ones, have a faith stronger and steadier than mine, and they really inspire me by their lives. Their lives speak to me very strongly this verse:

1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.


To be honest, I'm tempted to start comparing myself with them, which is the start of pride. But it's true that there is so much that I can learn from them. And I've been looking at those who are not growing much, and those who have started growing more and more. So I was thinking, the question really could be: What makes people grow?

I think there are many, many things that can help people grow, including making sense of their experiences and learning from them... reading the Bible regularly... fellowship...

But I think, from what I've observed, the most critical and powerful factor that causes people to grow is simply a childlike heart to believe and act on what God's Word says. Very powerful, very simple!

In addition, those who grow really fast are those who have committed themselves wholeheartedly to living every aspect of their lives God's way. So much goodness flowing out of their lives... to be honest, it makes me envious!

But let it be a good kind of envy... to desire a deeper relationship with God, like they have! I think there's a fine line between desiring the things that spring out of a relationship with God e.g. maturity, joy, love, peace, etc., and desiring a deeper relationship with God Himself. It's all so easy to confuse the gifts for the Giver Himself.

It's like what Weizhu told me before: "Keep your desire for God central."

So what about the point about making a gift of my own life? Well, it's a personal heartfelt stirring, but somehow my heart reached a conclusion after all this thinking and everything. I think Jesus spoke to me during the worship today with a vision...

This vision was of me laying down all my fears, my failures, mistakes and sins at the foot of the cross, and after doing so, Jesus came up from behind me, put His hand on my shoulder and nodding to me, beckoned me to get up and follow Him.

And I got up, left everything that I ever had at the foot of the cross and turned around to walk with Him.

Somehow, through that vision, I felt that Jesus was telling me that the rest of my life can be a fresh new start for me from today onwards. Just lay everything of myself at the foot of the cross, and get up a new man, and follow Him wherever He may go. I just feel this conviction increasing and increasing in my heart, and somehow, I think He was telling me that I have not fully surrendered all the desires of my heart to Him. And that includes my crushes too. :) And that includes my future. And that includes my past. I keep holding on to my past, not wanting to let go.

Swee Leong's testimony also stirred my heart, especially the part when he said that he has a new purpose in life. And that struck me, because I think He convicted me that, after all these years, I've still not surrendered every aspect of my life to Him yet.

So I made a commitment to Him today, stopping at the void deck to pray. I prayed my decision to Jesus, to love Him with all my heart and soul and mind and strength from today onwards. It's just a personal decision on my part.

And I found myself singing, "I have decided to follow Jesus... No turning back... no turning back..." Seriously, I think this song in my heart was inspired by the Holy Spirit... so touched!

Just feel a deeper peace within my heart now. Somehow I have this assurance that Jesus will help me follow Him as we walk together. I know He will help me make Him the centre of my life in all that I say, all that I do. Because He has already promised this in His Word. Amen!

Amazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
And in all that I do
I honour You...

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