But, on the other hand - How to Win the World without Losing Your Identity

On the other hand, after thinking through my previous post, let's look at the other side of the coin again.

Actually, my friend's got a point to make. Virtual worlds do make for hollow satisfaction.

Then, thinking again, I think there's a balance here. There are many reasons people choose to do such things... some really enjoy socializing and meeting people of other cultures e.g. I got to talk with some Japanese dude in real-time in Second Life, and also, it's a great way to learn new hobbies and interests... but also, other people seek community and sexual satisfaction by engaging in cyberfantasies and so on. So that's the dark side.

So, what to make of it?

I think first, we need to identify what's the need(s) that cause people to do this or that, whether it be DOTA gaming or gambling or sports or watching anime or reading or blogging :o). Some activities are healthy, others are ok, and yet others definitely not so.

Then thinking, it's not just the activities themselves, but the cultural and social contexts in which the activities are done.

Adrian Plass thoughtfully comments,

Someone came to see me a while ago and said, "I've done these talks for radio, and I know you've done some, so would you tell me what you think?"

I had a look at them, and they were OK, you know, but there was this one about the lottery. And it was more or less telling people 'You mustn't do the lottery, be a Christian instead.'

And I said to him, "You don't think it's just a little bit negative?"

And he said, "No...."

And I said, "Well, why do people do the lottery?"

He said, "To make money".

I said, "But it's more than that. Why do they really do the lottery?"

He said, "Well, I suppose they want something wonderful to happen."

I said, "Exactly, they want something amazing to happen in their lives. Something different and big."

He said, "Yeah, but the lottery's for money..."

I said, "Hold on, we haven't got there yet. What did Jesus promise his followers?"

He said, "Eternal life."

I said, "Yeah, but what else?"

He said, "Nothing."

I said, "He offered them riches."

He said, "No, he didn't."

I said, "What's treasure in heaven then?"

He said, "Yeah, well, but that's not money."

I said, "Hold on, we haven't got here yet. So you go to heaven, and what is the currency?"

He said, "Well, love, I suppose."

I said, "So you go to heaven, go to the Divine Bank, get a great wad of banknotes worth 5 million loves, and you go and spend them. So what you could say to people who do the lottery is:

'Your instincts are absolutely right. You want something wonderful to happen in your life, and you want to be rich. You are halfway there, to understanding why people follow Jesus.'"

So then I said to him, "Are you going to use that?"

And he said, "No, I don't think so."

Because it feels unsafe, as if you're moving away from the gospel, whatever that is.

That's a rather C.S. Lewis approach, that these delights that can be distractions from God are also gifts from God to point us the way to him. But he also said that he wouldn't recommend a religious writer to use a comic genre, because it's not appropriate to the message. Does that surprise you?

Well, I think that's an extraordinary comment from Lewis, who used comedy an enormous amount to convey truth. I think it was a question of fashion as well at the time. In the 50s would have had trouble telling more than the old Anglican jokes, but in the 80s and 90s it's very different.

But comedy without passion would be a very hollow thing in the church. I think people are sometimes disappointed to find that I am a passionate Christian, rather than a don't-care piss-taker. I can sense they don't like the Christian faith and they'd like me to support them in that, and I can't. It's the most important thing in my life.

I agree wholeheartedly with what Plass says, 'cos Jesus Himself used that approach to evangelise to the Samaritan woman (John 4).

Hmm. To be honest, I think I've been applying this principle bit by bit in my outreach, and yeah, it does seem to work, to make some people more interested in finding out more about Christ (yay! :D)...

Well, different strokes for different people. :) And no matter which approach we take, as long as we abide by God's rules, we're all in this together. :)

In the end, I think it's our own lives that people will look at - simply because it may be the only time they actually get to see the Good News for what it really is - whether it works as advertised.

But just to encourage you all - including myself - even tho we all are inadequate and fail big-time at times, Christ's love is so powerful that if those who don't know His love yet take just one look... I do believe that that's already more than enough! :D if just even a tiny dose of sunshine gives light and warmth to a darkened room... how much more a shining city on a hill! :D

Of helping people find a new life through Second Life ;)

Just read a friend's blog entry on virtual worlds:

"I read from Digital sth sth, abt this virtual world called Second Life. Essentially, you can be who you are not in real life. You can do anything you want, like make art and open an art museum and sell and earn real money. It does sound great. It probably is. Like if you want to design stuff but in Singapore, hard to sell your own designed things, you could do it online. It's where you choose to be who you want (eg male/female..) and do whatever you want, make your dreams true or something.

But I dunno.. there was just sth in it that didn't make me give full approval. It's just that the whole virtual world.. it seems a bit artificial, and unreal. You don't experience pain and suffering, things go too well and too fast, while in reality, problems crop up, difficulties are faced, conflicts arise, and you slowly persevere and overcome them, and grow in character while in virtual world, it just doesn't seem to have that kind of real challenges. It might seem like a second life.. but I do wonder if it truly gives e deepest satisfaction in e soul."

Thought about it, and to be honest, I think her perspective of virtual worlds is a bit incomplete... (sorry ha... just my opinion...)

I think in the next few years, Second Life (SL) and other virtual worlds that come up will grow mainly because it offers good opportunities to make a fast buck - legal or illegal. Reminds me of a Gold Rush / Dotcom.Boom / etc. Some things don't change that much. ;)

And I think it's good if we Christians can get actively engaged in these virtual worlds. Because they're simply the 3D equivalent of social networking websites. In fact, I predict that SL and other virtual worlds will transform into marketplaces, even live drama theatres (all done by avatars acting...), and even musicals... (think Phantom of the Opera 2.0...)

And not to mention the entrepreneurial opportunities there.

Personally, I think one problem that we Christians have is that we tend to be too isolationist and not proactive in eagerly harnessing the latest communications tech and media to win friends. Fact is, yes, people ignore the real world while immersed in the virtual world. They already are doing that now anyway, what with RSS, Web 2.0, podcasting, narrowcasting, customizable portals, etc.

So why don't WE bring the real world to them? Not just the bad things, but also the good things e.g. music, drama, poetry, humour, etc... SL's filled with a lot of cybercrap - e.g. cybersex and so on. Why don't we go in and be salt in the place? Set up an act there or something... or do the online version of street evangelism... it can be done one. Very easy... or do something more beneficial for society... highlight the plight of the people in Darfur... some people are already doing that! Putting up a gigantic 3D signboard saying, "REMEMBER DARFUR IN THE REAL WORLD" in the middle of Second Life, for everyone to see!

*******
Just some ideas that I have for Second Life (I joined it last year, when I was doing research for a term paper on virtual worlds) - and how we can bring the aroma and joy of Christ into Second Life and other virtual worlds (VWs)... because, in the end, the people using the VWs are real mah. (unless they're bots.)

(e.g. World of Warcraft... yes, it's possible to live out godly lives even in World of Warcraft... e.g. instead of selfishly grabbing the first special item that you see, why not bless your teammates with it? I think they'll be very surprised - just like in real life! [I did something like that before - it was so cool, and hee, my teammates did me a good turn in return.])

Well, the ideas:
- We could set up a drama troupe... or a mime troupe... or a capella group there... or play really good music in a public forum, attract people to come and listen... virtual busking, you see! :)

[Yes, it's technically feasible and quite simple I think to do such things in Second Life.]

- Set up an art gallery there

- Be social activists there... raise up relevant issues...

- Social entrepreneurship - all proceeds go directly to charity! :) Yes, in SL, virtual cash is convertible into REAL ca$h.

- Have a church there... haha, can set up encouragement boards...

Personally, I'm quite excited about the growth of Second Life... mainly because it's got over 5 million PEOPLE... imagine! 5 million people that we are ABLE to reach out to... :) ok, I'm starting with one or two... but heh, we all gotta start somewhere mah.

Hmm, also because I think God gave me this passion to reach people for Christ through media... so hee, want to explore more of this potential area...

But well, I think that's all talk... i must start somewhere... the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few! Lord, here I am, send me! :D

Amen!

4 very meaningful articles that I saw just now

Wow, very meaningful, especially when I've been thinking about the feasibility of venturing into the realms of social entrepreneurship, especially in an increasingly globalized and - ahem - capitalistic economy. :P (Hey, just for the record, I'm not a communist ok...)

Live Deep: Reach Out to the Poor

Poverty is on display constantly in the news. It’s as far away as a distant continent and as close as your local city. But the sheer magnitude of the problem can overwhelm and paralyze you if you don’t see beyond poverty as an issue and get to know poor people themselves. When you build relationships with people living in poverty, you’ll begin to see that you can fight the monster of poverty by making a difference in individual lives.

Here’s how you can reach out to the poor:...

The "Culturally Savvy Christian"

Too often Christian responses to the arts fall into one of two categories: the Christian element is assumed and the resulting work is pale and insipid, not really discussing a Christian relationship to the arts, but merely a moral one. Or, the Christian element is emphasized so heavily that there really is no taking on of the arts on their own terms...

The Disposable Worker: Why Capitalism Needs Christianity

Last week, electronics retailer Circuit City announced that it was laying off 3400 employees.

What made these particular layoffs noteworthy was not their size but, instead, Circuit City's stated reasons. They had "nothing to do with skills or whether they were a good worker or not." Instead, "it was a function of their salary relative to the market."

In other words, Circuit City was laying them off so it could replace them with people who make less. Rotten!

And on a more personal note - this is very inspiring and exciting! Evangelism... :D
One Wallet's Witness

Monday morning found me exhausted even before I began. After flipping randomly through my Bible, I admitted, "Lord, You know how overloaded I feel this week. Please help me to slow down and experience Your presence. Lead me to someone who needs to see You in my life."

That afternoon, I returned a pair of sneakers to the store. “They’re the wrong size,” I explained to the young clerk, “and I can’t find another pair that fit.”

“Too bad,” she responded, as she counted back my refund. “There you go--$37.99.”

“Oh no,” I gasped, handing her back $18. “They were on sale last week for $19.99, remember?”

I heard two young men behind me mumble something about me “either being crazy or just plain stupid.”

“Thanks a lot,” the clerk said. “I guess you’re one of those honest types.”

“Well, I’m a Christian,” I replied matter-of-factly. As I tucked the $19.99 in my wallet, she thanked me again.

I've been reminded just now, and quite a few times this weekend, just how experiential i have become. While it's one thing to experience God through my experiences, it's totally another thing to let experiences and circumstances drive my view of life.

It's important not only to just experience things, but also to make sense of my experiences.

This inspiration came to my mind as I was reading Jit's latest entry. Am encouraged by how she faithfully does her best to make sense of her experiences, to practise seeing things from God's viewpoint, even when she's tempted to be negative and dwell in negativity. :)

Reminded suddenly of what RF said to me some time ago, when I affirmed him for something in particular. He looked at me and said, "You know what, Yeu Ann? A lot of people affirm me for being so talented, being able to do this and that. But the kind of affirmation that really touches my heart is when people look beyond the surface, and look at the heart, the spirit behind the things I do."

It spoke to me a lot, because I think I'm the kind of person who prefers to be affirmed for being able to do this or that. But RF's sharing helped remind me of what God really delights to affirm: The heart behind what people do.

It's strange, yeah, but in the end, it is God who justifies us, even when we have nothing left to speak of, nothing to cover our shame. Justified simply because of His work on the cross... and He went to the cross in our place... simply because He loved us enough to die for us.

at the cross i bow my knees
where your blood was shed for me
there's no greater love than this
you have overcome the grave
your glory fills the highest place
what can separate me now

Sitting back now. Think God spoke to my heart. I've been very busy and harried in spirit, and as I reflected, I'm starting to look to people for comfort again, for strength from them, instead of drawing strength from God.

Ah. Think He has been telling me to focus on Him again, to pray to Him. Because He will help me. :) Yes and amen!

Good Friday Service - "Why?"

At Good Friday/Easter service, they played a very beautiful animation plus the song "why" by Nicole Nordeman.

It was so unbearably beautiful that I could hardly bear to look at the screen.

As I watch the animation, it becomes more and more unbearable. I scream inwardly and grit my teeth and pray silently: "Stop, stop! Take Him down from the cross... I BELONG THERE, NOT HIM!!!!!!!"

And dear God, I tremble in my heart, knowing that it was supposed to be ME there, carrying the cross for my sins. And yet... He took my place instead. An innocent, sinless Man.

Oh I can't describe just how much it wrenches my heart to realise that there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop Him from taking my place - because He did it already. And yet, the pain is so real... because I know this: "I am why He must die."

And thank God so much that I feel that sense of pain that wrenches my heart more and more each year. I think it's a healthy thing, because it helps me realise that I have really grown in depth of knowing a little more of how much it really cost Him to pay the full bloody price for all my sins.

And if the pain I feel is just for one person - ME - then how, how, how much was the pain that He felt that terrible Day, when He bore the sins of the WHOLE world on His shoulders?

*tremble*

Thank God He is RISEN INDEED! And what a joy to know that ALL my sins, past, present and even future, have been fully forgiven in His name! Wow... I really nodded my head, when Ps Jeff shared from John 8 that Jesus is QUICK to forgive... I still remember that day back in 2005, when I finally turned back to God and confessed my pride and other sins to Him... He somehow helped me understand experientially just how QUICK He is to forgive my sins.

Wow. I'd always known in my head how quick He is to forgive... but till that day when I turned back to Him with all my heart, I'd never known in my heart just really how quick... in fact, He is more eager to forgive us than we are to confess! Never saw such a man like Jesus... He truly is the Son of God!

Just finished typing some stuff for my ma again. :)

On Saturday, went with my dad to visit my old school principal (Sister Anne, from Canossian School for the Hearing-Impaired). Visiting the place brought back many memories. Sister Anne was so delighted to see me. She still looks the same, with her firm no-nonsense jaw-set and sure determination in her eyes, albeit much whiter hair. We chatted a while, and at the end of the conversation, she shook my hand firmly, and said so glad to see you, and how you've been - and embraced me. Touched.

She told us about another Sister, Sister Maria Evan, an Italian nun, who took care of me back a long time ago. Sister Maria Evan? Her name didn't ring a bell. In fact, couldn't even find a bell to ring. ;P

But in search of her, we traipsed over to St. Anthony's Home and found her there. When Sister Maria came into the room, I saw a petite, but lively lady with many laugh lines on her wrinkled face. She looked at me with a slightly puzzled look, while trying to remember who I was. Then my dad told her, "He's Yeu Ann."

And her eyes suddenly opened wide, and she gasped in surprised delight. She embraced me and pumped my hand in delight. I think what they say about Italians being passionate and exuberant really is so true. :)

"Oh! It's you! Look at you! You were so small! Now you are so big! How have you been!"

Wow, can't forget those laughing gray eyes of her... she regaled me with many stories about the past, and about how quiet I was last time, and how I will go running here and there, and how I was so attached to the library, always preferring to read books than to play with the other children...

Then she blessed me with drinks for me and my dad. She's been here in Singapore as a missionary for 43 years already. Wow...

Soon, it was time to say goodbye. And as we walked out, I saw other nuns cheerfully greeting some visitors, and I felt so blessed by their warmth and sincerity. Honestly, the old-age home really felt so warm and so full of love and joy.

I thought about it, and couldn't help but be struck by the stark differences between some of the old-age homes that I've visited before. Each home seems to have a certain flavour to it, and some seem very dreary, while others are so warm, that I think you wouldn't mind staying there. :)

I think it's the love of Christ and devotion in these Sisters that really make a huge difference. That, and also the close sense community that I could see in the residents, and the open-door policy that lends ... a very "campus" feel to the whole place. Hee! Yup, the old-age home reminded me of a certain hall in NUS... :) except that it's much nicer than the hall... haha!

Also very inspired by how these women have devoted their lives to serving God by serving the poor... touches my heart a lot. :)

God and people... Christ and His church... they really do make a difference to this world.

Good Friday Musings

It's very early in the morning as I type this.

Had a good Good Friday :) with my dear CG yesterday. Rayson joined us for lunch, and oh yeah, not forgetting that unforgettable moment in which Peter accidentally tricked me into chugging a bottle of vinegar. Yep, accidentally... haha... Thank God that I didn't spew out the stuff onto him! :P

Then watched The Reaping. Ok lah, but the ending was... well, they tried to put a twist there, but it didn't go down well - gave you that slightly twisted feeling in your stomach. :P

Then had dinner with Tai Heng. Thank God for Huaqiang, Sarah and Shawn who were there too. :) TH's coming for service tml. Thank God also for Guoxiong who asked him too.

Hmm. After all this busy week, just need to take a step back and ruminate about Christ's sacrifice for us on the cross.

Just reminded that God's love is also a very experiential thing. And how I need to draw closer to Him, into His hands.

Knelt down today before Him, partly also because I was getting increasingly frustrated about my slow progress in sending out resumes, plus having to handle errands and so on - which, together with my poor stewardship of time, and other concerns, made me increasingly snappier and more irritated the past few days.

And I think He simply reminded me to go back to Him. "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

And to stay my focus on Him, despite the occasional 'heart-flutter'. ;)

Listening to some beautiful worship songs. They made me think about Him. Of Him, actually. How I need to think of Him even more.

And read this TIME article about Albert Einstein's belief in a God. Though he didn't believe in the God of the Bible (both Christian and Jewish), he did believe in a higher force. Think the most admirable attitude that I learnt from him was his attitude of intellectual humility - that we need to recognize that we are limited, that we do not know everything.

Hee... it's not just a nice, pithy statement that he made, but also something he lived out in his intellectual thinking... e.g. his willingness to admit his 'Cosmic Blunder' - the insertion of a 'cosmological constant' to balance his equations, which he later on said to be "one of the greatest mistakes in [his] life."

And about atheists:

But throughout his life, Einstein was consistent in rejecting the charge that he was an atheist. "There are people who say there is no God," he told a friend. "But what makes me really angry is that they quote me for support of such views." And unlike Sigmund Freud or Bertrand Russell or George Bernard Shaw, Einstein never felt the urge to denigrate those who believed in God; instead, he tended to denigrate atheists. "What separates me from most so-called atheists is a feeling of utter humility toward the unattainable secrets of the harmony of the cosmos," he explained.

In fact, Einstein tended to be more critical of debunkers, who seemed to lack humility or a sense of awe, than of the faithful. "The fanatical atheists," he wrote in a letter, "are like slaves who are still feeling the weight of their chains which they have thrown off after hard struggle. They are creatures who--in their grudge against traditional religion as the 'opium of the masses'-- cannot hear the music of the spheres."

w00t! :) I guess ol' Einstein really was no fool. =)

And what he said about Jesus Christ in an interview:
To what extent are you influenced by Christianity? "As a child I received instruction both in the Bible and in the Talmud. I am a Jew, but I am enthralled by the luminous figure of the Nazarene."

You accept the historical existence of Jesus? "Unquestionably! No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word. No myth is filled with such life."

Wow... that is really so cool! :)

Just thinking about Jesus. Who is He, really, to me? Was reading about the Son of Man, and I'm just thinking about that too. Who is the Son of Man, and just why that title? Why would God choose to call Himself the Son of Man?

Utter humility, to say that you are the son of something you created. Crazy... and yet so meaningful.

Ha. Just some random musings, but yes, really want to just set aside my thinking for a while, and just ... think about Jesus Himself. Even if I were not a believer... at the very least, I shall go to the roadside, stand on tiptoe and take a look at this wounded man staggering under a heavy wooden block. Just To See For Myself.

Discover Magazine: The God Experiments - and Easter's Answer

The God Experiments
Five researchers take science where it's never gone before.

I saw this article while browsing through the Discover website, and read it.

A few passages caught my eye, e.g.:

"Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist at the University of Pennsylvania, has focused on the tendency of people from different religious traditions to report similar mystical experiences, which typically involve sensations of self-transcendence and "oneness." These commonalities indicate that the visions stem from the same neural processes, Newberg hypothesizes. To test his theory, Newberg has scanned the brains of more than 20 adherents of spiritual practices, including Christian prayer and Tibetan Buddhist meditation. He uses a technique called single-­photon-emission-computed tomography, or SPECT, a variant of the better-known positron-emission tomography, PET.

The chief advantage of SPECT is that it can capture the brains of meditators in a relatively natural setting. The subject meditates not in the SPECT chamber itself but in a separate room. When a subject—a Franciscan nun, in one case—feels her ordinary self "dissolving into Christ consciousness," as she describes it, a radioactive fluid is injected into her body through an intravenous tube; the fluid travels to her brain and becomes trapped in nerve cells there. The nun then goes to the SPECT chamber, where a computer-controlled camera scans her brain. The resulting image reveals levels of neural activity in the moment immediately after she received the radioactive fluid, when she presumably was still immersed in contemplation."

So the key question that popped into my mind after reading this was: are all those experiences that I've been having while praying and worshipping God, simply neurochemical reactions, etc?

And so, it could be argued, back and forth, ad-nauseam, "these physiological effects obviously prove that it was GOD who made us!" "No, it doesn't! Your so-called experiences with God are simply chemical by-products!" "Yes!" "No!" "Take this!" "Oww! Take that!" etc. Wow. "Peace and love to all... now die, you scum!" :P (tongue-in-cheek here)

But more seriously, it made me look for an answer, because if the evidence so far is inconclusive that there's really a God, then wouldn't it be better to err on the side of agnosticism? To say, well, there may be a God, but I'm not sure and I don't want to risk believing in the wrong kind of God etc.

So asked God about this, 'cos was feeling pretty unsure how to answer that question. (Haha... I can imagine it now: "God, I believe You exist, but eh, I'm just wondering... do You really exist?")

Thank God really... He didn't leave me without an answer. (whew) This Bible passage immediately came to mind:

Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"

But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it."

A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

Wow... thank God for that passage. 'Cos I think you can't get as empirical as actually seeing the execution wounds with your own eyes, touching the nail wounds, and fingering with my own fingers the spear wound in an obviously ex-dead person's side...

So I think, religious experiences do come and go, and frankly, you can't base your faith on warm fuzzy feelings only. It's super-unsafe. Else you might as well go pop some "hallelujah" pills. You need to ground your faith in something that you can be sure is true.

Thus, it's really reassuring to know that, when I am tempted to doubt God's existence from time to time, and the latest scientific findings cast more agnostic aspersions on His existence... I remember that on the first Easter, Jesus Himself allowed one man to see and feel the very truth for himself with his own eyes and hands. And after that, scolded Thomas that blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Still, thank God that Thomas said that famous statement so many years ago... he spoke for all of us die-hard skeptics - and thank God that He answered to every skeptic - past, present and future - that day. :D

Just some random thoughts

Am now revamping my resume yet again after some sisters' feedback (special thanks to Guannie who so nicely pointed out tt my design looked like an eye-test chart *stares hard*)...

It's late in the night. But just read some friends' blogs. Very blessed by Yuantao's comments on Shuyi's blog... whoa, it's really so heartfelt, that it really melts my heart as I read it. Couldn't look fully thru all the sentences - they were that intense. Wow... so amazing how God's love can really really warm a person's heart so much! :D

So amazed... to be honest, i had thought for a long time that Chinese people were all pretty closed to the gospel, or if they accepted it, would be nominal, half-hearted, etc... or struggle because of language difficulties or maybe not understand...

But after seeing how God touched Yuantao's heart, it really opens my eyes to the beautiful truth that Peter exclaimed in Acts 10:
"I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right."

Truly, the gospel is for EVERY NATION! think this adds extra fire to my heart that one day, I must leave the safe shores of Singapore to help share God's love with those around me. I'm so glad that in NUS, I had the blessed opportunity to meet people from many walks of life... whether Chinese or Malay or Indian or Indonesian... or even French or Dutch or German... and oh yes, Mexicans too :)

That reminds me. Last night, I met up with Kangwei for dinner - he treated me to lasagne and marbled cheesecake and simply deliscrumptious chocolate milkshake - and among some things we chatted about, I shared with him that I was thinking of going over to New York one day to take a Masters in Fine Arts for cinematography.

And also he gave me some really excellent advice regarding interviews and resumes and the like... I scribbled them down on a napkin. (Shame that I had wiped my mouth on it previously...)



Just chatted with Joyce over the phone. Great time of fellowship and praying for one another over the phone.

And will be meeting Swee Leong tomorrow in school to catch up on various things. Really very blessed by him.

Met up with Flince and Zhiwei at Spinelli's. Great time of chatting... Zhiwei and I went down to IT Coop to browse around. We ended up playing a mean game of Tomb Raider. And Minesweeper too. Haha...

Minchen chatted with me, said sorry for not chatting with me for so long. Haha... no lah... very blessed by this dear friend.

Tomorrow shall be meeting June and Huichun for lunch. Been ages.

Shuyi and I prayed prophetically for one another. The verse tt Shuyi prophesied over me really spoke to me and encouraged me very, very much. Psalm 73. Wow. Thank God for your faith and trust in Him, dear sis! :D

Joy asked me whether want to join some bros and sisters for games at Settlers' Cafe. Couldn't make it in the end. Haiz. But thank God for her invitation all the same.

Yufen shared a very exciting and inspiring testimony with some of us at HQ how she and some Life Science Christian friends all sang a very beautiful song in front of the entire lecture theatre.

Blessed and comforted by Jiadai's words of encouragement.

Gosh. So many more people to meet up and catch up. Thank God for each and every one of you. :)

I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
:)
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
how have u been?
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
been?
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
haha
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
tks for asking
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
just feeling rather mel i guess
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
oh what happened?
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
due to recent events?
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
i guess partly
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
a confidence shake down?
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
yeah
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
hw'd u know?
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
can sense..
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
O_O...


:)
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
tks bro
[yeu@nn] Cuban Missile Crisis now over... tk God so much... says:
and tk God hee

I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
mm..ok..
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
mm..confidence shake down..mmm
I am Peter "Crutch" ..... (T_T) password failure...pulls hair says:
know where u truly stand

Very Encouraging!

Read this post on Leanne's blog and am very inspired! :D

"I enjoyed the part where we had 20min outreach challenge after the faith teaching by Jasmine. All of us were so excited! I paired up with Nehemiah and rushed to S11 and centrepoint for invitation to our Pre-easter svc. As we were running towards the Mac, we saw 3 girls about to go toilet and 1 of the girls actually decided to wait for their friends. We quickly grab hold of the girl and start introducing ourselves and her friends who were about to enter the toilet saw us. They were curious about our approach and we got them to join us in the conversation. After introduction and sharing, we realised that they were from different schools- 1 from nyp and 2 from ITE dover and Bishan! We chatted for a while and found out that one of them had been to church and read bible too but yet a Christian. We exchanged contact numbers and went on with our invitation. we manage to have 5 contacts within 20mins challenge! Behind the numbers are the people who yet heard of gospel, thus sowing is the immediate action to be taken."

For those born in the 70s and 80s

Saw this list on a sister's blog:

1. You grew up watching He-man, Sheila, Thundercat, MASK, Transformers, Ninja Turtles, My Little Pony, Smurfs, Carebears, Captain Planet etc etc. And of course, not forgetting, Night Rider, MacGyver, Airwolf etc. For those born later than that, too bad they missed this Golden Age. MacGyver was and is still THE BEST!

2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school during recess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug.The teachers said you must brush each side 10 times too.

3. You watch a very popular Malay dubbed Japanese drama on RTM1 about schoolgirls who possess powerful skills in volleyball called Meoro Attack.

(YA: In fact, if you know what RTM1 is... haha, it doesn't matter what show you watched - you're still a child of the EIGHTIES!!! muahahaha)

4. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50. And kacang putih rocks!

5. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka (20 cents per pack), and Ding Dang (50 cents per box), that had a toy in it and it changes every week not forgetting the 15 cents animal crackers and the ring pop, where the lollipop is the diamond on the ring.

6. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five and Secret Seven are probably the thickest story books you ever thought you have read. And of course, not forgetting Sweet Valley Twins, Fear Street etc. The Three Investigators was my favourite then.

7. Your English workbooks was made of some damn poor quality paper that was smooth and yellow.

(Ooh that brings back so many memories... NESPE and Nimmy, anyone remember them? ;))

8. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck and a must everywhere you go.

9. Teng-teng, five stones, chapteh, hentam bola and zero point were all the rage with the girls and boys too...

10. We wear BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes.

11. The worksheets were made of brown rough paper of poor quality.

12. There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almost everyday.

13. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gave you $3 or more for pocket money everyday.

14. Collecting and battling erasers was a pastime for boys.

15. Autograph books were loaded with "Best Wishes", "Forget Me Not", and small poems like "Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet but not as sweet as you".

16. There were at least 40 people in one class.

17. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.

18. Everyone was talking about the most admirable 'xiao hua' and 'xiao chao'.

19. Worst day of the week is the day you were assigned to do the duty roster.

20. You received a packet of tit-bits every Children's Day.

21. You'll make Happy Teacher's Day card for your favourite teacher every Teacher's Day.

My addition:
22. You get this kind of list and - *gasp* - you can actually identify with every one of these! :P

Train Yourself To Be Godly - Speak the Truth in Love

Just want to jot this down before I forget:

In the last unit 242, Dehua shared with us the importance of speaking the TRUTH to one another in love. He shared from 1 Tim 4.

And something that struck me a lot was that speaking the truth in love into others' lives is a way of training ourselves to be godly. Why? Because, in order to speak the truth, you need to find out what is the truth first! So pushing yourself to speak the truth into others' lives also helps you grow in the truth too.

The Next Big Thing, and then Some More.

I just read this article, "The next big thing: global degrees", in today's Straits Times, and when I read it, started feeling rather envious... ok, awfully envious, of those who have the opportunity and money to do so.

My Questions
Started comparing myself with them, and asking God whether it was a good idea to have stayed all 4 years in NUS, in Singapore. After all, wouldn't it be a good thing to have gained experience working in other countries? Or at the least, having the name of a prestigious overseas college listed on your academic record? And not just so, wouldn't these experiences make me able to connect more with other globe-trotters?

Felt so insecure. And not just in the worldly sense, but also as a Christian - felt that I'm not being a good testimony, not being credible in reaching out to the more high-flyer achievers of the world. If we university graduates are the top ten percent of the world's population, then I'm pretty much around the bottom of the top ten percent. (Irony upon irony...)

But God is so wise.

His Answer
Sensed that He was patiently listening to my insecure griping, and then asked me simply: "For what reason do you want all these achievements for, actually?"

Oh. Hmm.

Examined my heart, with His help, and He revealed to me that it's because deep down, I want these achievements to boost my self-esteem. It's not for wanting to be a credible spiritual testimony even.

And even if I had all these achievements, then what? Then this Bible verse came to mind (which pretty much answered all my questions to Him):

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Then this thought came to mind:
"You don't need to be a high-flyer to win the high-flyers for Me. Come, follow Me, and I'll make you a fisher of men. And haven't I already brought high-flyers your way, and you have impacted their lives for Me? :)"

w00t! That was so encouraging... and touching. :) Thank You Jesus for Your encouragement...

And something else that I realised when trying to make sense of my experiences, why I didn't do this or that, and how it came to be that I chose to stay in Singapore out of my own free will... frankly, I think this already was the best possible path, out of all possible paths, that God had planned for me (even though humanly speaking, it doesn't seem the best). 'Cos He knew that I had a lot of serious issues in my life that needed to be fixed first, before He could send me out. E.g. pride, insecurity, selfishness, social skills and so on. And hee, I think... maybe, if I could live my life all over again, perhaps... this would be the path I'd choose again.

"He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." How true it is. It was never so much for my own sake, but for His name's sake. Because the sooner I learn to die to myself is the sooner I learn to live.

Bigger and Bigger
After reflecting further, I think He's so cool. :) Because actually, by nature, I'm really a comfort-zone person. I love to stay in Singapore, and dislike going into new situations, and that includes overseas.

But thank God so much for this wonderful church that He's put me in... over time, after being soaked in the Great Commission (GC) and how our church really tries its best to personalise Christ's GC, I'm starting to capture the value of going overseas, to learn new cultures, new ways of life... and I find myself becoming increasingly inspired to step out of my comfort zone, to get out of the boat.

E.g. dreaming of setting up a company for a social entrepreneurship project - these two are so new to me! And capturing the vision to be salt and light in the media industry for Christ... because of that, I'm spurred on to one day go overseas to learn new skills and meet new people in the media industry... perhaps one day I shall shake hands with the "kings and governors" of the media world... to be a witness of Christ before them...

Just Dreams
All these are just dreams at the moment... but I realise that these dreams get bigger and bigger as the days go by. Then I wonder why it is so. Then I realise that as I grow older in Christ, He becomes bigger to me. And as He becomes bigger to me, so do my dreams for Him become bigger. For our God is an AWESOME GOD!

"Now to Him who is able to do far beyond all that we can ever ask or even dare to dream of... to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen!"

"Let us dare to dream such big dreams for God, that without God, they will utterly fail." Amen and hallelujah! :D

Ask Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor - Homosexuality and Christianity

I was browsing through a series of questions at the BBC website that some people asked the Catholic Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor recently.

It struck me that the top comments were all on the issue of how the Church perceives homosexuality, and a few on them on the issue of social justice and poverty. E.g.:

"Given that Jesus preached tolerance and love to all, how are you able to justify your stance re wishing the Catholic church should be given a legal dispensation to discriminate against homosexuals, specifically in relation to the adoption issue, and are you able to clarify which of Jesus's teachings (not anything from the old testament) suggested this discrimination would be ok."

"helo

I believe that we are born gay. My God, i would only wish that I had not been. The pain, the terror, the rejection by my peers - it has been terrible. This has all been fuelled by the Church. My best friend killed himself by jumping off a bridge because he could not find comfort in the church.

Come on, say something about this.

Thank you."

"My question for the Cardinal is; why does the Catholic Church (one of the richest organisations in the world) does not contribute its vast wealth to allieviate the suffering of African Catholics effected by the Aids epidemic throught the African Continent. Also why does the Church not redistribute it's wealth to believers who suffer through poverty, starvation and lack of irrigation/waste disposal. The Catholic Church could pay for this many times over, why doesn't it?"

"Sir
Do you believe it may be time for the Church to rethink it's stance on contraception given factors including Aids, overpopulation,venereal disease,and the increasing abandonment of unwanted children, many of these things are occur due to rape and incest, should there be exceptions in your opinion because of these circumstances?
Are gay people not deserving of the basic human rights and protections given to all other citizens? Does your God not love all equally?
Thank you."

After reading through these questions, I think they're very real questions that deserve good answers. Especially the part about homosexuality, where a lot of people have been arguing back and forth.

Hmm. So to be honest, I realised that I'm not very clear on exactly what the Bible does say about it, but I do want to find out more on what the Bible says about that.

From what I understand so far, yes, homosexuality clearly is a sin, but just as importantly, people who commit acts of homosexuality are just as precious in God's eyes as any others - no difference here.

I think this isn't an easy question to answer, partly because of the possibility that some people do have homosexual tendencies even from birth. And the reality is, some people struggle so much with these temptations, that they either choose to leave God, or they abandon hope and commit suicide, or they choose the belief that homosexuality is acceptable in God's eyes.

On a personal note, I do have a few friends who are gay, and honestly, I'm quite fine with them as my friends. Though I don't support their decision to be gay, I support them as my friends. I mean, we're all sinners - it's just that some of us have accepted God's forgiveness, while others still haven't yet.

Perhaps one reason that homosexuality is such an emotional issue for many people is because it is about sexuality, and sexuality is an essential core component of who we are as human beings, especially the emotional aspect.

So one thing that I don't know very much about is why do some people choose homosexuality?

Hmm. After reading this PBS article on two Christian leaders debating about homosexuality, it seems to be that we tend to label a sinner in terms of the sins that he/she has committed. If a man commits sodomy, we label him a homosexual. If a woman goes on a serial rampage, we brand her a mass murder. If a man rules injustly and oppresses the poor, we call him a despot.

I'm not sure if this is a sound way of seeing people. Maybe it could be better. Or maybe it's true, but not exactly how God sees them.

Of course, there are certain roles and responsibilities that a person is accountable for - and he/she will be judged more strictly according to what he/she has been given. Hence, if a child-care teacher abuses the children under his/her care, or a king oppresses the poor, a judge accepts bribes, a statesman inciting genocide, or a pastor teach false teachings to his flock, God will come down extremely hard on these people. Maybe that is why we are so dismayed when we hear about church leaders sinning. What a heavy responsibility lies with them!

But, back to the point about us labelling people according to their sins. I was thinking, "How would Jesus see them?" And I think He would see them this way:

Luke 7
36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

The first few times I read this passage, this thought immediately came to my mind: "What kind of sins did the woman commit?" But I think Luke simply wrote that she lived a sinful life. She could have been a lesbian, she could have been a prostitute, she could have been a husband-poisoner, a thief, a swindler, or all of the above, and then some more. So I responded in my heart the same way as the religious Pharisee did: "She is a sinner."

But in Jesus' eyes, she simply had lived a sinful life, no more, no less. And His holy response to the Pharisee was this: "Do you see this woman?"

And I think our Lord cut to the quick of the matter. God, when He sees us, He doesn't see us as sinners. Rather, He sees us as MEN and WOMEN who have sinned and fall short of the full humanity that He intended us to have.

So there's an inherent danger in labelling people as homosexuals and thus. Because, to that extent, we dehumanify them, castigating them and making them out to be mere animals, whereas we of Homo sapiens sapiens proudly walk the face of the earth.

Sobering... because I think it is possible that every man and woman could have the potential to commit homosexual acts (Romans 1 states that clearly) - I mean, after reading about ex-Pastor Ted Haggard's acts... and he a married man... and he had opposed homosexuality some more! Gosh, no wonder the Bible tells us to take the plank out of our own eyes before we try to take the speck of sawdust out of our brother's eyes.

*******
Hmm. So from what I understand so far about what the Bible says, yes, homosexuality is a sin, but we should not ostracise them, but neither should those who want be right with God condone the act of homosexuality, because it is a sexual sin. (And from what I understand, homosexuality arises from the heart attitude of lust.)

But also, as a sobering fact, we forgiven sinners must also realise that we ourselves have the potential to do such things (I'm not talking only about homosexuality, but also things like theft, deception, adultery, murder and the like). "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."

Hmm. Yup, some thoughts about it... I could be wrong in my understanding. Feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong. Hee, think this is a potentially controversial topic, ha, but yup, want to seek the truth, to understand what the Bible says about all these things.

(Oh just to add: I'm straight. So don't worry yeah... :P)

A Mature Dialogue on Maturity - at least that's what I'd like to think ;)

Asked Peter and Sharon what's maturity like:

Sharon:
"I think it's consistency, conviction and character.
Wow, that's a very big word! Why don't you go ask Peter more about it?

:)"

Peter:
ha..that's a big word u ask me
how u see the world from God's perspective
depth of understanding of God's principles
just some of things that come into my mind

sound thinking

legalist application of WOG VS understanding the God's true

principle

think sound thinking is very impt

understanding is emphasis in proverbs

can read psalm 32:9 also mentioned shortly about it

understanding involves understanding God's word..too

YA:
yah i think i'm weak in understanding God's Word...

Peter:
well..see the benefits of it...and u will want to do it

i do it because i want to be sound

see God soundly

sound understanding helps us in being firm

if not some smooth talking ppl can easily shake us

YA:
tink i get it... understanding involves seeing the HEART, the REASON behind why we do the things we do... why God's Word's say this or tt...

Peter:
yes
rem..WOG is one of God's armor
eph 6

ha..
seriously..sound mindeness is even useful when u're sowing

it helps to add that bit of help

unsound thinking opens way for lies to come in

when u least expect

and remember sound thinking is thinking based on God's

word..

Godly wisdom

YA:
*sitting back*

*thinking*

Peter:
well..go plough thru proverbs haha

*******
YA
wow

growing in maturity really, i have so much to learn...

Peter:
oh i am learning too

just have to start somewhere that's all after u see the value

YA:
yah!
hmm
so i think one value of maturity is that it'll enable us to

have a sound mind...
for a sound mind'll protect us from lies tt creep in
is my understanding correct?

Peter:
yeah..and much more..
i learn n see the value even more as days goes by

in simple..it's an ongoing thing

it is not e=mc2

chew on it slowly...

haha

and constantly

"One does not simply walk into Mortor...""Mordor. With a 'D'."

Hilarious... I simply LOVE the facial expressions. ;)

What Happened to Judas?

I read this article, "What Happened to Judas?", just now, and it was very thought-provoking. And as I read through the three questions that the writer wrote, I asked myself these three questions, and realised that there are still some things in my life that could make me turn bitter against God, and betray Jesus.

It's a very sobering article, and I think it's a very good one. Personally, I was thinking about today's 242. Dehua commended me for being very enthusiastic in serving the Lord, and in loving His people. To be honest, yeah, I feel very encouraged when he said that. But I have to think of it with sober judgement - and on the way back home, I think God reminded me of this verse in Proverbs: "The furnace for gold, and the crucible for silver, but man is tested by the praise that he receives." Or as WZ would say, "Don't swell." Hee...

So when I went back home, thought about it, and remembered that it's only, and only, by the grace of God that I can be enthusiastic for God.

I knelt down and really thanked Him for today, because I remember very clearly back in the NUS ministry, there was this long, long period of time from 2004 to 2005 where I had lost my passion and first love for God, that my CL was so concerned that he took me aside, and asked me, "Previously you were so on fire for God... now what has happened to you?"

Galatians 4:14-15a
"Even though my illness was a trial to you, you did not treat me with contempt or scorn. Instead, you welcomed me as if I were an angel of God, as if I were Christ Jesus himself. What has happened to all your joy?"

So today was a sobering time, especially after reading this article. Thought about it, and reflected that I could be so enthusiastic for God, but in the end I could be the one who betrays Him. Sobering, isn't it? I'm not saying it as a negative thing... I'm just being realistic.

And I think it is good to acknowledge and accept that fact, that at one time or another in our lives, we WILL betray Jesus, despite our swearing never to betray Him. Peter said to Jesus. I think what matters in the end is our response to Him after that. Will we respond like Peter, or respond like Judas? Or like how John came back to be with Jesus at the cross after deserting Him initially?

"I will lay down my life for Thy sake." Peter's declaration was honest but ignorant. "Jesus answered him... The cock shall not crow, till thou hast denied Me thrice." This was said with a deeper knowledge of Peter than Peter had of himself. He could not follow Jesus because he did not know himself, of what he was capable. Natural devotion may be all very well to attract us to Jesus, to make us feel His fascination, but it will never make us disciples. Natural devotion will always deny Jesus somewhere or other.
Oswald Chambers

For maybe it's when we know that we WILL fall, and cry out to Him to help us, that He immediately catches us by our hand, and say, "Here I am."

"Watch and pray, so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." He knows us far better than we ourselves do.

So here's a condensed version of the article:
******

About his suicide, very little needs to be said. The Bible tells us that "he went away and hanged himself." It is the final act of a man who could not live with himself and the memory of what he had done. In the ultimate irony on this tragic day, Judas died before Jesus did.

The Way It Was
But it was not always that way. If we go to the beginning, we find a remarkable series of facts about Judas:

* He was personally chosen to be an apostle by Jesus Christ.
* He forsook all to follow the Lord.
* He spent 3 1/2 years traveling the length and breadth of Israel with Christ.
* He saw all the miracles of Christ in person.
* He heard Christ give all his famous discourses.
* He watched as Christ healed the sick, raised the dead and cast out demons.
* He, along with the other apostles, was sent out to preach the gospel.
* He was one of the leaders of the apostolic band.
* No one ever suspected him of treason.

In terms of experience, whatever you can say about James, Peter and John, you can say also about Judas. Everywhere they went, he also went. He was right there, always by the side of Jesus. He heard it all, saw it all, experienced it all. However you explain his defection, you cannot say he was less experienced than the other apostles.

If anything, he was one of the leaders. After all, the other apostles chose him to handle the money. You don’t pick a man whose loyalty you suspect to handle your money. That’s crazy. You pick your best man, your most trustworthy man, the one man you know you can count on. That’s why they picked Judas.

The most interesting part of this story is that the other apostles apparently saw only the positive side of Judas. It wasn’t until they looked back after the fact that they could see the negatives. Before his betrayal of Jesus, he looked as good as any of the rest, and in fact he probably looked better than most. In that light, let us note it for the record one more time: No one suspected Judas. No one.

Three Questions For Us
As we think about the strange, sad story of Judas, several questions rise to the surface. These are questions not about Judas but about you and me. They ask us to consider how much of Judas lives inside each of us today. And before we consider these questions, consider this: The more religious you are, the more likely you are to do what Judas did...

Question 1: How Has God Disappointed You?
f there is any way to understand Judas, it is at the point of personal disappointment. Perhaps he truly believed that Jesus had let him down and in his own twisted way felt justified in his act of treachery. But is that so much different from the way we feel when we think God has let us down?

Let us face the fact that God often fails to live up to our expectations. Sometimes he simply doesn’t do what we think he ought to do. We have certain standards for the God of the universe—and he doesn’t always meet them. Judas couldn’t live with disappointment so he betrayed the Lord. What about you?

Question 2: What Would You Trade For Jesus?
One of the ironic parts of this story is that Judas didn’t get much for his money. In those days, 30 pieces of silver was the price of a slave—about $20. Judas went to hell and the cost of his ticket was 30 pieces of silver.

* What would you trade for Jesus?
* Would you betray him for money?
* Would you betray him for a better job?
* Would you betray him to keep the job you have?
* Would you betray him to save your own skin?
* Would you betray him to get a better grade in school?
* Would you betray him for a date to the prom?
* Would you betray him for a new contract?
* Would you betray him for a million dollars?
* Would you betray him to find a husband or a wife?
* Would you betray him because he didn’t live up to your expectations?
* Would you betray him because you thought he let you down?
* Would you betray him if you thought you could win the favor of important people?

The story of Judas asks us to probe at the level of our personal motivation. Why do you serve the Lord anyway? How much is the Son of God worth to you?

Question 3: Are You a Second Judas?
It can happen to any of us. Judas kissed the door of heaven but went to hell. Jesus picked him as an apostle but he went to hell. He lived with Jesus for three years and still went to hell. He watched Jesus walk on the water and still went to hell. He listened to the Sermon on the Mount and still went to hell. He ate with Jesus, talked with Jesus, walked with Jesus, and listened to Jesus day after day, month after month, year after year. He knew Jesus as well as one has ever known Jesus and still he went to hell.

And remember this. None of the disciples suspected him. That’s why he was chosen to be the treasurer. They trusted him to keep their money. Even at the Last Supper, when Jesus identified Judas publicly, they still couldn’t figure it out.

...

After all, if one can be an apostle of Christ and still be lost, what about you and what about me? Perhaps we may conclude the matter this way. One apostle was lost, that none should presume. Eleven were saved, that none should despair. In the end, most of us who call ourselves Christians will search our hearts and conclude that Yes, although we fail him in many ways, we do love Jesus and claim him as our Savior. That is as it should be. The story of Judas is in the Bible for many reasons, not the least of which is that before we take anything for granted, we at least ask the question the other apostles asked that fateful night: "Lord, is it I?"

*******

Mmm... so realised I have some past disappointments with God - e.g. my not getting an NUS undergrad scholarship... (that time, I was disappointed with Him - had asked Him to help me with the interview, but I became very nervous through that time.)... that time due to some miscommunications, my team almost missed a critical project deadline and we all scored miserably for that module (I got a D+).

But I think, in the end, after looking back, I have decided to trust His promise that in all things, He works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. :) And perhaps, maybe, in the future, I'll be so glad that I didn't get any Honours degree despite my best efforts. Perhaps it's because God knows me better than I do... that getting a Hons degree might make me complacent, both physically and spiritually, causing me to trust in myself to succeed in life, rather than to lean on Him for His help. :) Think that's one way how I can choose to see how God is working for my good.

Hee! Sorry, so long... still have so much more to write, e.g. how God is showing me recently the past week that I must not be afraid to speak the truth in love, and some miracles and testimonies of His wonderful providence. But think shall share more next time, if we can meet up face to face. :)

Think it's a spiritual season of summer now... activities are starting to buzz up, and I'm feeling excited about the many things that are to be done. But hee, I know there'll come a time soon when I start feeling mellow and moody. Oh well, it'll be my spiritual "autumn", and after that, the winter... and then, spring again! :D Praise Him every season of the soul!

Praise You in the morning
Praise You in the evening
Praise You when I'm young and when I'm old

Praise You when I'm laughing
Praise You when I'm grieving
Praise You every season of the soul

If we could see how much You're worth
Your power, Your might, Your endless love
Then surely we would never cease to praise You...

The Shawshank Redemption

Remember that film in 1994? I didn't (couldn't anyway) watch it... but I love the way the title sounds, and heard it has one of the best endings in film history, so I did the next best thing: read the script.

It's really touching, especially how the two inmates, Red and Andy, make friends, and inspiring how Andy refuses to give up hope even in the dark dungeons of Shawshank Prison, even after going through shame and pain - and touches many lives through his determination.

In fact, despite the film's portrayal of various "Christian" hypocrites, e.g. a "Christian" warden who abuses the prisoners while taking care not to use the Lord's name in vain, some film critics have criticised the film as a Christian parable in disguise. Just find it ironic... but also very meaningful too. :)

"Let me justify the Pain from God's Sword..."

I read these words from a sister's blog just now as I was chatting wif YF... they're a very timely correction to my fear of speaking difficult truths into the younger believers' lives...

"Let me justify the Pain from God's Sword... it is better compared to Pain for eternity.

I sometimes hesitate to share the gospel because i feel that people cannot take it. The same challenge is posed to me: let them suffer the pain of such a black and white message and let them make a choice, or let them suffer for eternity? let me endure the sharp pain for preaching such a message in this life, or pained when i meet God for caring too much for my face, my life, than to care for the soul of others?"

(Hee, think HY will know what I mean... :P)

Met up with TH today. It was really good catching up with this old, dear friend of mine... and I also prayed for the opportunity to invite him for this Sunday's Alpha session (and that he'll be willing to come...)

And whoa, things happened exactly as I prayed... he asked me about how things are going on for me in church, and what am I doing in church ministry so far...

And yes, thank God for his willingness to come down and take a look... I'm encouraged by his willingness to learn and investigate new things...

The problem is, he's very busy with his studies, so he says that he can't make it for the next 2 sessions...

(Oh dear... I didn't pray that he'll COME... I simply prayed that he'll be WILLING to come. Me and my lack of faith!)

(Think TH's fine with me writing this... haha, TH, if you happen to be reading this... God's thinking of you even as you read this! ;))

TIME - The Case for Teaching The Bible

Miss Kendrick came ready, with props. The day's topic was the Gospel of Matthew. "You can divide all the Beatitudes into two parts," Jennifer Kendrick explained to her teenage audience. "The 'Blessed are the whatevers,' like 'the meek,' and then the reward they will get. So I've made some puzzle pieces here." She passed out construction-paper sheets, each bearing either the name of a virtuous group or its reward, in black marker. "And you've got to find the person who has the other half. What's the first one in the Bible?"

"The poor in spirit," mumbled a crew-cut boy.

"O.K. What goes with the poor in spirit?"

A girl in the front of the room replied, reading from her sheet, "For they will see God."

"Nope," chirped Kendrick. "O.K., find the person that matches yours. I'll take the roll."

By which she meant an official attendance roll. Because the day was Thursday, not Sunday. And the location was not Oakwood Baptist Church, a mile down Texas State Highway 46, but New Braunfels High School, a public school that began offering a Bible-literacy class last fall. The class has its share of conservative Christians. Front-row center sat Rachel Williams, 18, whose mother does teach Sunday school at Oakwood. But not 20 ft. away sat a blond atheist who asked that her name not be used because she hasn't outed herself to her parents. Why take a Bible class? I asked her. "Some of my friends are Christian," she said, shrugging, "and they would argue about, like, whether you can be a Christian and believe in evolution, and I'm like, Okaaaay ... clueless." Williams signed up for a similar reason. "If somebody is going to carry on a sophisticated conversation with me, I would rather know what they're talking about than look like a moron or fight my way through it," she says. The class has "gotten a lot of positive feedback," she adds. "It's going to really rise in popularity."

Read this article, and think it's very interesting. :)

To be honest, initially, I was happy to see that some Americans are thinking of introducing Bible studies into classes. But then I was thinking... if they're teaching the Bible from a secular viewpoint, will it help change people's mindsets for the better? And if it doesn't, wouldn't people be able to manipulate Scripture for their own purposes? I mean, there are people who have used Scripture as a justification for slavery back during the 19th century, and not forgetting the Crusades.

But then, I realise, part of the problem is that they haven't read very much of the Bible, and what they've learnt is often out of context. E.g. when some people use the Old Testament injunction, "Thou shalt pay an eye for an eye...", they forget Christ's injunction, "But I say to you... turn your other cheek..."

In addition, even from a cultural and historical viewpoint, the Bible has been such an integral aspect of major works of literature, and famous American people e.g. Abraham Lincoln and Martin King Luther were influenced greatly by it. After all, the Bible is indeed one of the most beautiful works of literature in history. Just read the poem of Job... Kafka really can't match that! And who can forget Martin King Luther's powerful rebuke to the injustices of his time, "Till justice rolls on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!"? He took them from the prophet Amos.

And also, it's not about Christians alone... the Old Testament is the sacred Scripture of the Jews too, and one of the holy books of the Muslims. Since Scripture is such a central tenet of three major religions, it is important that adherents for each religion should at the very least know what the Bible says. Not just know about, but know.

But What About Freedom of Choice?
But one may argue that there is freedom of choice involved. What, hypothetically, if it was compulsory for me to read the Buddhist Sutras, or the Koran, or Mao's Red Book, in class?

Then I think it's important to consider that there is indeed enrichment, much enrichment, to be gained from being taught books on other beliefs as well, if not for your own belief's sake, then at least for others' belief's sake.

I remember reading Greek mythology back in primary school, and while that makes me no more a believer in Zeus than I believe the earth is flat, I think my mind has been enriched by learning how the ordinary Greeks saw life, and how they perceived their gods as distant and inapproachable. Even for a Christian, you can get to appreciate just how dramatic it would be for a Greek to believe in "the Logos who became flesh".

And anyway, I think the Bible itself says more than once that it's a good thing to be aware of other religions and to speak respectfully of their religions even though we may not agree. Like how Paul went around in Athens looking at the inscriptions to the Greek idols, so that he could understand the Athenians' mindsets better. And how Peter told the Christians to speak with gentleness and respect, and Paul agreeing too, saying that all our conversations should be full of grace.

I guess this analysis is far from complete, but yeah, in the end, I think it's really worthwhile to teach the Bible, even if it's from a secular viewpoint. After all, the Bible describes itself as "sharper than a double-edged sword", so if one is going to try using a sword... he needs to know what a sword looks and feels like first, especially if it's a super-sharp one. :)

*******

Hmm, I remember Singapore, at one time, had religious education as part of its criteria. I wonder why they took it off the syllabus... Maybe I should find out more about this.

Err... Remind Me Again, Just What is So Good About The "Good News" After All?

What makes the good news so good?

Hope.

Hope that one's life can really change for the better. Hope that there really is forgiveness for that dark unforgotten sin you've always kept hidden away from everyone else. Hope that you're not treading on the wrong path of life - the endless corporate ladder, etc., or that you're wasting your life on the wrong things.

And the good news is very fun and delightful too. :) For instance, discovering that you can do things that you'd never imagine you could do, not in this life, ever. But God is the God of impossible things.

"With man, this is impossible, but not with God - with God, all things are possible."

E.g. The lame WALK. The blind SEE. The deaf HEAR. The mute SHOUT. And I think, personally, something very sweet about those words that Jesus spoke to John the Baptist is that the impossible things that people could do were specific to their conditions. I mean, there are lame people who can see, and blind people who can speak.

I'm focusing on the experiential aspect of the good news here, because, well, the good news really is good news. :) Think one key reason why I sometimes feel obliged to share the good news is because we ourselves haven't realised just how GOOD the good news is. :)

Think then, what makes the good news so good is that, for those who have reached the end of the rope, exhausted every possible effort and finally found themselves helpless to help themselves out of the deep shit (yes, that word) that they're in... that is when they finally look up, and find the hand of Jesus extended to them, waiting for them to let Him pull them up from the quicksand they're in.

"Come unto me, all ye who are burdened, and I will give you rest."

Because I was lying on my bed, musing about past things that I'd wished I'd done but never did. Past regrets. But I realised that it's already over, and God wants me to look ahead and move on. Because He has better things in store for me.

E.g. the vocation that God has been impressing increasingly strongly on my heart over the past few years, and one especially wonderful "coincidence" that happened all because of a toothache... which I believe further serves to confirm that this path I'm starting on now is part of God's clear calling on my life.

That, and other "coincidences" - some very precisely timed, others more of gradually coming to pass, that I really believe that all these serve to make His calling increasingly clearer to my life. E.g. finding out about a social entrepreneurship forum just in time, which I'm also becoming increasingly interested in (for a higher purpose)...

When I see how all these things have been happening, I feel really so awed that God would bother to think about someone so small like me, and actually include me into His plans to make this world a better place. :)

So I'll dwell not on my glory or shame
But now I'll seek out His very name.
For now I know I'm no longer the same
But now I'll live out His very fame.

"You're the One Who made the heavens
You're the One Who shaped the earth
You're the One Who formed my heart
Long before my birth

I believe You'll always lead me
All my days have been ordained
All Your thoughts toward me are holy
Full of love and grace..."

:D

Scramble!

Think God impressed on me these particular verses during my QT after I told Him about some problems recently:

Proverbs 24:10
If you falter in times of trouble,
how small is your strength!

Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.

If you say, "But we knew nothing about this,"
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay each person according to what he has done?

I think He's telling me not to falter so easily, but to get up and move on, because this is a rescue mission I'm on. So don't give up doing what is good... don't give up sharing the good news of God's grace and truth! Because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes! Amen! :) For our God is an awesome God!

Robert called me just now to ask about my tooth after reading my blog. Blessed! :D Haha... so this is what civil servants do in their free time... no lah just kidding. :P

Are You Tone-Deaf?

Hey! This is cool... came across this site... http://jakemandell.com/tonedeaf/?4a203ca8

This test is self-explanatory. BTW it also tests your aural memory... which I'm terrible in. :P Even after 10+ years of listening to the National Anthem, I still can't sing it properly to save my life. :P Nvm...

On this test, I scored 66.7% Correct, which means that I'm slightly below normal perception, but above low-normal perception. :)

Cool. Which means that my hearing-impairment doesn't really have anything that much to do with my sense of music... just that it's harder to tell the difference without hearing aids.

Ah. But I'm below the average of 73.9% out of 60,000+ participants. :P Hah... well I don't care. :)

And after that, I tried out this test to see if I can distinguish between two tones.
http://tonometric.com/adaptivepitch/

According to this test, my pitch perception's pretty good - at 500 Hz I can reliably differentiate two tones 1.65 Hz apart. :) wow! Thank God for that...

And for the final treat:
Are You Rhythm-Deaf?
(aka the "It's not my fault I can't dance - it's my cerebellum!" test)
This is the most interesting test... according to the site:

Recent research has emerged suggesting that rhythm perception and pitch perception deficits may be linked. Since it has long been known that people with poor rhythm perception abilities are often poor dancers, I though it would be interesting to make a test that would give an objective measure of rhythm perception.

In other words, you can find out if you're a potential candidate for "So You Think You Can Dance?" or a William-Hung wannabe. :P

I scored 68%. Cool! Above normal. William Hung, eat your heart out, man. :P

Less Burdened

Oh. But thank God for precious things like these... while absent-mindedly browsing some quotes on the net, I came across this quote by Saint Augustine, a hedonist-turned-Christian, and it encouraged me very much:

I have read in Plato and Cicero sayings that are wise and very beautiful; but I have never read in either of them: "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden."
Saint Augustine

*******
Oh! I also want to share something that made me smile very much today.

I was videoing for HopeKids today, and there was this little girl with long lovely locks who saw me filming, and she asked me boldly, "Can I try too?"

Wow! "Ask and ye shall receive..."

So I let her try... and she really loved it! Wouldn't let go of the camera - I had to cajole her to let go. Then she ran eagerly over to me, and rested her head on my shoulder, peering curiously at what I was filming.

So sweet! One day if I have a daughter, it'll be nice to have one like her. :)

Learnt something in my observations:

In the Father's eyes
We all
whether young or old,
are simply so young before Him.

And touched by her boldness.
Reminded of Jesus' bold words
That this is the type
of bold faith
That boldly pleases
A bold God.

Burdened

I'm feeling burdened.

Funny in a way, because I was feeling very grateful to God during worship today. But think something that He reminded me of was His faithfulness to me... there will be times I really hunger for His touch, and receive freely from Him, and there will be times I barely think of Him, and receive nothing much from Him.

But through all these times, I remember that the Lord has been my Shepherd, and how He brought me back to Him. This song from HopeKids service today spoke to me a lot:

All along You were besides me
Even when I couldn’t tell
Through the years
You showed me more of You

:)

Hmm. Burdened, that I need to mature in more aspects of my life. It's not pleasant to discipline myself, but I know I need to push myself in every aspect of my life. I slept very late last night because I decided to play another round of computer games, and when HQ heard about it, he said I need to exercise more self-control.

Self-control? Hmm... haven't I heard that somewhere?

Hmm. And that's the problem. I should be mature enough to exercise self-control in something as small as this. Because it's the small things that make or break a life.

Song of Solomon 2:15
Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

Sad. Not because I didn't exercise self-control, but because I know I disappointed God. Don't want to make Him sad... for He bought me with His very own blood to save my life.

1 Peter 1:18-19
For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.

(Nothing wrong with playing computer games to relax - it's just whether I want to devote my entire life to trival pursuits or to eternal rewards.)

Want to push myself more because of God's love for me. He loves me so much... I don't want to short-change Him!

*******
Feeling burdened too, because of someone very dear to me. Can't say much here, but felt helpless, even though I think God has assured me that He'll take care of the matter. Helpless, because I'm looking for the best way, and fearful of what's going to happen next to this person.

And I ask Him for a solution, a way, an insight... and God seems quiet on this matter.

Psalm 22:2
"O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent."

At least I'm not alone... there are other friends who are going through very similar situations as me. Thank God for that. :) Really.

And thank You, Lord, that the Bible is so real on issues like this. I recalled Paul's exasperated exclamation when he wrote to the Corinthian church:

2 Corinthians 11:28-29
"Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I do not feel weak? Who is led into sin, and I do not inwardly burn?"

Yes, I do feel weak, and I do inwardly burn. Oh God. How ah? Give me love, strength, wisdom, joy and peace I pray. In Jesus' name, amen.

Rooting Out (and Rooting For) Root Canals

Thank God for dentists. I think dentists are some of the most wonderful people to have walked the face of the earth since the beginning of mankind. They are the salt of the earth, God's gift to humanity, the creme de la creme, the pillars and foundations of society...

Oooh, blissful relief... never was anaesthesia such ambrosia. :D

*******
Haha... actually, it was quite good, the root canal. I just have to erase the memory of medieval-looking instruments (ok, I exaggerated. they're quite designer-looking) scraping against my teeth (the feeling is so... you know that feeling you get when you hear metal scrape against metal?).

What's a root canal btw? Wikipedia has the answer... (just google lah!)

But apart from that, it was a very fascinating session. What the dentist did was to first find which tooth had the decay. This is A Very Important Question. She felt my chin and neck, and found that the infection had spread to the surrounding area of my gum, and there was an abscess in the gum. Yes, it was pretty bad.

So she began the root canal treatment. Thank God that the needle (it was pretty big actually) wasn't painful at all. Really. It did take a few minutes for the anaesthesia to fully activate though.

Then the dentist pulled out my metal filling. THAT was a jarring shock. One moment she's tugging at your filling... the next moment you feel a giant metallic 'pop' resonating in your skull.

Then she began the drilling. It was so cool actually. The drill is not what I imagined it to be... I had imagined the dental drill as something akin to a Bosch and Decker electric drill, you know, the kind that contractors simply LOVE to turn on at 9 am in the morning, when you're trying to catch some precious sleep after an all-nighter.

It was actually quite quiet, and painless in a way. Saw my tooth enamel being vapourised into fine powder. After she did that, she squirted some more anaesthetic into my tooth, after seeing me starting to wince a bit.

Wincing is a crucial aspect of effective interpersonal communication between your dentist and you. Because he can't understand Polish, German, Hokkien, Cantonese and Swahili, which I somehow miraculously acquire the ability to speak all in one breath.

"Does it hurt?"

"!Ngoaighwaouggggachtungaaaah!!!"

"Ok, it hurts."

Then, the feeling became stranger. Felt a warm feeling spreading through the left side of my neck. Seems that the nerve from my decayed tooth also runs through my neck.

Then after that, the dentist used some fine wires to scrape and clean the inside of my decayed tooth out. It felt quite good actually, especially when she cleaned out the abscess underneath my molar. An achingly good kind of sensation - something like a massage of sorts. Weird, huh?

Then she filled it up and sealed it.

I would like to say that the pain went away instantly, but that didn't really happen. It still ached, because of the infection, not just inside the tooth, but also in the surrounding areas - I guess the jawbone and the gums were affectecd.

But thank God so much for antibiotics. I've taken four of the pills today, and the symptoms are reversing. Originally, it was painful tenderness, but now it's just an irritating "itchy" feeling inside my gums, and I think in the next few days, the pain should go completely away once I'm done with the antibiotics. :)

And oh yeah, want to thank God for some things too that happened. Turns out that hte root canal treatment was a whole lot cheaper than was actually listed. $115 instead of $250. Wow! Thank God... :D

And I also got to meet this lady from Lions Befrienders at the dental clinic. It's some community service organization mentioned in the Singapore21 report. She said to me that she was looking high and low for the past one year for a multimedia developer for a volunteer project... I'm still thinking whether to take up this volunteer project.

Yup, that's the account of my root canal. It was a good learning experience, and really want to thank God for His grace to me...