Friday, January 12, 2007

The Apple Of Your Ear

The iPhone started out the way a lot of cool things do: as something completely different. A few years ago, Steve Jobs noticed how many development dollars were being spent--particularly in the greater Seattle metropolitan area--on what are called tablet PCs: flat portable computers that work with a touch screen instead of a mouse and keyboard. Jobs, being Jobs, was curious. He had some Apple engineers noodle around with a touch screen. When they showed him what they came up with, he got excited.

So excited he forgot all about tablet computers. He had bigger game to hunt. [continue...]


Was reading this article, when it struck me that this is one major niche that Singapore can excel in, in the global media industry.

Frankly, I don't think that games are necessarily the best way to go, even though Singapore will be pumping billions into R&D for interactive media.

It smells suspiciously like the same old "cannon fodder" tactics that Singapore's been using for the life science industry - throw in a whole bunch of students, pick out those who make it to PhD-level, and the rest who can't? Hmm... it's much harder for them to find a life-science related job, and honestly, even those who can make it to PhD level need to go overseas.

I'm not arguing with the virtues of this tactic - but I think it's a sheer waste of trained and qualified manpower. People spend 4 years studying life science stuff - and after that, then what? Perhaps if it's in a highly developed life science industry, then it's fine, no problem. But the problem is, we're still at the beginning.

Perhaps now would be a good time to break out those business strategy books - prime case being Sun Tzu's Art of War. I think he explained a simple concept of asymmetric warfare - in which a smaller power finds a way to exploit the weaknesses of a bigger power. So Singapore can also do it that way. Find the weaknesses present currently in the life science/media industries and exploit the niche offered.

Which is what Steve Jobs is precisely doing now in the heavily entrenched mobile phone market. Because he and his team have a decisive advantage in design quality.

The game is a little different this time. With the iPod, Jobs essentially created a whole new product category. The cell-phone turf is already held by entrenched armies of phonemakers and service providers. They may not be as hip or innovative as Apple, but they will shred one another for nickels, and there are a lot of nickels on the ground. One point of market share in the handset business is worth $1.4 billion. Motorola, having sold more than 50 million Razrs with not enough to show for it, will probably be reverse engineering the iPhone before it hits the stores. "We already have cell phones and smart phones, so the marketplace is already very competitive," says industry analyst Jeff Kagan. "We have not seen Apple compete in the insanely intense, competitive wireless marketplace."

But it wasn't just the money. Cell phones interested Jobs because even though they do all kinds of stuff--calling, text messaging, Web browsing, contact management, music playback, photos and video--they do it very badly, by forcing you to press lots of tiny buttons and navigate diverse heterogeneous interfaces and squint at a tiny screen. "Everybody hates their phone," Jobs says, "and that's not a good thing. And there's an opportunity there." To Jobs' perfectionist eyes, phones are broken. Jobs likes things that are broken. It means he can make something that isn't and sell it to you at a premium price.


Which goes on to my next point. Frankly, from what I've studied about the marketing structure of the games and film industry - the key to winning in the media industry is NOT so much about quality of products, but rather, the distribution networks.

How do you think Hollywood manages to churn out so much junk, and yet still dominate the global movie industry? Through the controlling of the distribution networks that ensure its products are the most visible ones, thus eclipsing the games/films of the local countries' media industries.

I guess you can use a war example, since war and business are closely related to one another in terms of strategies and tactics. During the American Civil War, the Northern Union forces were constantly and soundly walloped by the Southern Confederates who had more superior generals and fiercer soldiers. But eventually, the North won the war. Some reasons were due to the superior logistics and transportation networks of railroads, which enabled the North to supply fresh new troops and weapons and food to the frontline, and also, the more heavily industrialised North enabled the constant production of weapons and technologies.

So, I think Singapore can also aim for design qualities, especially in user interface designs, which is potentially a very wide and diverse field not only in the media industries, but in the other fields e.g. hardware and software industries.

Why is Apple able to do things most other companies can't? Partly by charging for it: the iPhone will cost $499 for a 4-GB model, $599 for 8-GB. And partly because unlike most companies, Apple does its own hardware, its own software and its own industrial design. When it all takes place under one roof, you get a kind of collaborative synergy that makes unusual things happen. (Vertical integration in practice here.)

Apple also places an unusual emphasis on interface design. It sweats the cosmetic details that don't seem very important until you really sweat them. "I actually have a photographer's loupe that I use to make sure every pixel is right," says Scott Forstall, Apple's vice president of Platform Experience. "We will argue over literally a single pixel." As a result, when you swipe your finger across the screen to unlock the iPhone, you're not just accessing a system of nested menus, you're entering a tiny universe in which data exist as bouncy, gemlike objects. You can actually pinch an image with two fingers and make it smaller. Because there's no mouse or keyboard, just that touch screen, there's a powerful illusion that you're physically handling data.


So I think this is where Singapore can really shine in if it invests its funding in the next few decades.

Simple Songs

something i realised today. :) that when you try your best to seek God, He will do His part to reach out to you too.

God is closer than we think. :)

why i say that? bcos was very tired today, yet i knew that i simply had to seek God today in His word. yet fell asleep (decided to) because I needed the sleep.

but i think He sees my heart. even when i'm sleeping during my QT instead of reading my bible.

and what father wouldn't want his child to fall asleep in his arms? :)

felt so loved even when i was sleeping. i don't know how, just felt loved. and i really do need His love very much.

then after that, found myself starting to sing some songs in my heart. haven't been singing songs to God for a long time actually. think that's a meter of sorts, whether songs flow freely from my heart to Him. to help me discern whether there's spiritual dryness in my life.

simple songs. but they mean everything in my heart to Jesus.

Serving God

And about serving God. Guanrui shared with me what he learnt about the attitudes in serving God.

Think it's very timely :) as i reflected, i realised that my heart's not pure in this area. it gets dirty every day when i want to serve Him. i sense subtle tugs, subtle thots in my heart, saying why not be this? why not be that? subtle desires. the thorns that choke the crops, like what we covered in luke 8 today with zhiwei.

but what YF also shared with him from Proverbs - "Above all else, guard your heart, for out of it flows the wellspring of life."

Amen. :)

Selfish Service

Sorry God, I need to pray to you. :) Felt ... initially ok, when I did my best to encourage a friend. But he just typed "hehe" at the end... so felt a bit discouraged actually.

Why do I feel discouraged, actually, when i try to encourage sometimes? i'm not sure... perhaps it's just a case of timing, or a case of trust - because i really do believe that God wanted me to share that particular verse n prophecy with him over msn...

And isn't it impt to serve God, no matter what the response? if my conscience is clear, n i have served God to the best of my ability, then it really doesn't matter how the bro responds.

for all i know, the bro may be very encouraged, but it's just not his style to say so.

i'm so amazed yet mortified. By His grace and by my sinfulness. His generosity, and my selfishness.

Random Thoughts and Thanks for Today

Hee, we celebrated Swee Leong's bday today :) we had a wonderful time.

Was thinking, quite afraid of the office politics to come in future. had a small foretaste of it even now, and doesn't feel pleasant.

Lord, mature me... and remind me of James 1... "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds..."

Had a good time of follow-up today. Was feeling very tired actually, and quite sian. So asked God to refresh me during the follow-up time. Wow, felt very refreshed by Flince, YF and Zhiwei. :) Tk You Lord...

Reflected again. Really want to grow in selflessness. V encouraged by SL's testimony hw God helped him grow in this area. :)

Oh yah. Thanks for the time wif Guanzhen today, we had a good time discussing apologetics questions and just sharing our lives. :)

Tml we're having sub-D chalet! :) Yufen said it's a "rugged chalet" ie. there's no beds there. Flince said even Pulau Tekong got beds. Haha... nah, really looking fwd to the time together! :D

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Textual Criticism, Darwinism and Narnia

Had the toughest debate ever with one of my friends on MSN. He's read thru theology books, and considers "Case for a Creator" and "Mere Christianity" "amateurish" readings. Hee, really humbled after talking with him on MSN. Even though he's from a Christian family, and read thru a whole bunch of theology stuff, he finds Judaism more plausible, and said that Christianity's basic premise is flawed, even throwing in concepts to support his argument e.g. textual criticism. Think he won this round, 1-0!

Wow. Humbled, because I realised that I really don't know that much - super rusty and super lacking. And i'm not as intellectually powerful as i thot I was. Just in time - because i'm meeting Guan Zhen tml to discuss apologetics ideas. Think God brought this guy in at a very timely moment, to humble me and to let me know that I really don't know as much as I thought I know.

So can really learn from my friend, how he reads a lot to find out more. But honestly, looking at the evidence and thinking about how to reply to his evidence, I need to remember that I was a skeptic before, and found it hard to believe in the existence of a God, for quite a few reasons - including bad experiences with the church before and unanswered prayers for the healing of my ears.

And the funny thing is, I was a firm believer in Darwinist evolution too, even when I became a Christian. Somehow, I read thru the Origin of Species (well, part of it), peered thru Dawkin's The Selfish Gene, enjoyed Asimov's books and so on... and yet I couldn't shake off the nagging thought that there simply must be someone, Someone greater out there.

And also, I had questions about the issue of different denominations, etc. and different beliefs even in supposedly the same faith - Christianity - as my friend asked me, "there are 36000 protestant denominations .. which one has the Holy Spirit?" not to mention the split between the Protestant and the Catholic churches... the religious wars that followed the split.

So, unanswered prayers, i didn't see God with my own eyes, a firm believer in evolution, bad experiences with church for many years, nagging questions about inconsistencies among the huge number of denominations in Christianity... when people asked me whether i'm a Christian or tried to share with me, I quickly evaded the topic...

Lord, how did I ever become a Christian?

Hmm... thinking about it... I think it's because, for all my doubts and fears and questions, i'm so glad that i decided to just stick on and have faith in this Jesus, whoever He was, that He is the Son of God. I didn't have all the answers, but if what the other Christians said was true, Christ can turn your life around.

And He did answer me. He told me the very reason why He didn't choose to show Himself visibly to me, thru a particular verse in the Bible. I experienced a strange and wonderful change in my heart and behaviour that couldn't be explained by my own human strength - i had failed so many times before. Coincidences started happening in my life at very timely moments (some of them are simply, simply too timely to be coincidences). And over time, I realised why the prayers for my hearing-impaired ears weren't answered as I would have wanted them to be... and the various "inconsistencies" that I was thinking about, as I read the Bible more, eventually resolved themselves.

There's many things yeah, but I think the ex-blind man said it so well: "Whether [this Jesus guy] is a sinner or not, I don't know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!"

Oh! :) Reminded of one of my favourite Narnia stories. From Narnian Musings 14 - Burnt Marshwiggle, Craig S William comments:
In The Silver Chair, C.S. Lewis comments on the enchanting hold that modernist thought has exercised over the Christian faith. Modernity promised that our technological and scientific expertise had the power to elevate and even 'save' human life. The modern movement sold itself as being free from emotional bias and influence. Facts were going to be the way of the future and with a scientific method that eliminated much of our subjective reasoning we were on our way to a bigger and better world. Our time, a postmodern time, is pointing out that, though there have been some remarkable technological advances the human condition is not largely improved. The argument could be made that we are further from the Enlightenment goals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, than when these 18th century values were raised up.

Lewis takes on the limits of rationality and addresses the problem in this the fourth book of Narnia. In a reasonable way, Lewis challenges a worldly orientation that would remove all signs of God in favor of reason.

Once Jill and Scrubb (Eustace's nickname) have been reunited and set on their task, they meet up with one of Lewis's most creative characters. They meet Puddleglum, the Marshwiggle. As his name would suggest, he is a bit more like Eyore than Tigger, a dour soul who sees the dark cloud before any silver lining. And as his species suggests, he has more amphibious qualities than human characteristics about him. Though as tall as a human, he's a cold-blooded type of creature. Puddleglum becomes the children's guide and companion as they seek to save the lost Prince Rilian. The Prince has been under the spell of the Emerald Witch who commands the realm of Underworld. There is no sun or stars or grass in this dark underground kingdom. The children and Puddleglum find the Prince, but also the Witch and fall under her enchantment as well.

In their struggle to keep from being totally bewitched, the companions try to describe where they are from, Overworld. It gives them hope to think of their homeland and it has some power to counteract the Witch's spell which is accompanied by a soft thrumming music with a warm fire and heavy sweet smelling incense.

The first thing the companions try to describe is the sun. The Witch asks that they tell her what they mean. The Prince responds that it is like the lamp that hangs from the ceiling, only much bigger and brighter. She asks the Prince what it is that the sun hangs from and the Prince has difficulty describing it. She concludes that they are like children having a go at make-believe. They have seen a lamp and now they are making up the idea of a bigger and better lamp and calling it the sun. In reality, she says, this is only a dream. (When you read Freud's The Future of an Illusion you get the same arguments!)

Next they mention the name of Aslan. This makes the Witch anxious but she continues her steady strumming and speaking. They tell her he is a lion. She asks them what a lion is. When they say, 'Have you ever seen a cat?' she once again suggests that they have made up the idea of a lion by imagining a bigger and better cat. Again, just wishful thinking.

After all this haggling the companions are nearly completely under her spell. They begin to agree that there is no Overworld - only the Witch's Underworld. Then Puddleglum does a brave thing. He rallies his nerve and awakens enough to go over and stamp out the fire with his webbed feet. In doing so three things happen:

1. The smell of burnt Marshwiggle begins to awaken everyone.

2. The Witch breaks off with her strumming and humming and screams.

3. The pain clears Puddleglum's mind most of all.

Then Puddleglum speaks.

"One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping, because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one more thing to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things - trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one…That's why I'm going to stand by the play world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."

Enlightenment thinking and reasoning pressured the church into believing that the old categories weren't strong enough to hold out against all that humankind was learning. The new science was discovering things that the biblical witness couldn’t account for, and we needed to begin making our arguments to science. It is Leander Keck's line that I use for my own purposes here, that the church needed to make God palatable to the world. We began to play by the rules of the culture. The interesting thing is that if we play by the cultural rules of reason, then our results will be measured by those standards. God does not measure the way we do. "My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways," says the Lord. (Isaiah 55:8)

When we decided we needed to be rationalistic in our proofs for God, we abandoned our main story. We began to give evidence to demand verdicts. We spoke of the faith as though it were something to be learned in law school or the science lab. We lost our way because we forgot our homeland. This is what our companions remember. And when Puddleglum suggests that their made up world beats the Witch's so called, real world, hands down, a cheer goes up. He's nailed it.

Christians have tried to make the Gospel of Jesus Christ palatable to the rules of human endeavor. Instead what we have needed to do is to live out the faith in profound ways. This is what Tod Bolsinger's book is about in some ways. The integrity of the faith is hard to come by. We recommend the faith to others because it is true. It is truly the best way to understand our existence and the existence of the universe. Modernity tries to get us to prove this in some scientific methodology of facts presented to be voted up or down. Our task is to try to live in to our story as best we can and present it as the one hopeful alternative. Post modernity is open to competing narratives of the way things are. Under modern rules we tried to trump science by appealing to scientific methods with faith facts. It was a doomed undertaking. The church under modern thought kept trying to make God palatable to modern tastes and thought processes. Post modernity at least has given everyone some breathing room. How has this happened? Well, the easiest way of seeing this is to say that the modern experiment hasn't delivered what was promised. Nor can it. This allows for all other stories to be heard on equal footing, including Christianity.

One thing that we must be careful of is not submitting to modern rules again. We cannot make the argument for the faith from a superior position, as though our facts are indisputable compared to others. We must adopt the posture of Jesus in addressing humanity. We come humbly are open and serving and dying. No high-handed manipulation. No oppressive authoritarianism. Simple service will do. It is the way of Jesus.

I'm reminded of "Pascal's wager" at this point. [My paraphrase] If I bet on the Gospel of Jesus Christ and am proved wrong, I lose nothing. But if I wager against it, and it is true, I am most to be pitied.

This is Puddleglum. He determines that even if his world is made-up it is better than any reality he has been shown by the Witch. The truth is he has a vision of reality that will punch holes in this illusion being offered.

May we all live as like Narnians as we can.
Anyway, thinking back to "adjusting my expectations". hmm... yeah, think that's what i'm intending to do abt the sisters in the new CG... to be honest, i wonder how'll it be. anyway i think it's better to go in with the attitude that i will have to learn more things and even unlearn certain things, in order to be more effective in the next phase. yep. putting away the old wineskins that served me so well, and start using the new wineskins. need to start learning asap and adapting quickly to the new terrain! :)

hmm. what other expectations and things that i'll have to 'unlearn' in the new phase of my life, not just ministry, but also work, family, etc? Finances are one of the first things that comes to my mind... sleep and physical health are another thing... because when you're 25 years old, that's the prime of your youth, your health... and the "graduate belly" will start appearing soon... :P

so many more things.... Lord, guide me safely thru this new phase even now... =) which I know You're doing, thru Your Bible! Thank You Jesus! :)
Oh yah, very thankful for today. :) Today went down to school to meet Hongtao for lunch. Was really good catching up with this very dear bro. :) We went to Biz Ad canteen to eat there - I've never tried the Western food (believe me!) until today. Whoa, the basil salmon pasta's really fresh and cheap! :)

Then gave the first multimedia training session to Zhenzhong and Ziwei. Hope they managed to follow what i was saying... :P But thankful for their willing hearts to learn! :D

Then had a good time catching up wif Siow Meng (he's gg off to Denmark for SEP in less than 2 wk's time). Was also gg back home wif Bo and Eugene. Great time of catching up too. :)

The Case for a Creator: A Journalist Investigates Scientific Evidence That Points Toward God



Walked to Junction 8. Bought "Case for a Creator" by Lee Strobel. Great book - I'm devouring it now. Didn't realise there were so many big-shot scientists who are award-winning experts in their respective fields and have thought through carefully and systematically the evidence for and against a Creator, and found that science and faith don't clash - a false dilemma painted by some atheist (especially in the Straits Times last Saturday...) - but science and faith complement one another well.
A thot just occurred to me (well, after much, much thinking in the shower...): I will really have a lot to learn in relating with the sisters - probably tat's y i'll be most likely moving over to Daisy's CG, with all her sisters. Lots to grow, in consideration, sensitivity and gentleness. And social maturity too.

Humbling, yeah, for a guy who takes pride in being able to 'click' and relate with sisters. Think i've learnt quite a bit over these few years, but realise there is still yet so much more. LOL. They say that men are from Mars, women from Venus... maybe there's more truth to this old adage than we may think. :)

Better the sober judgement now than the shocked realization later.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Groovy Gelato for $2 a cup!

Went with a friend last night, intending to go to the Starhub foodcourt for dinner. To our surprise, we found that it was replaced by some funky looking place that looked something like a cross between a dental clinic and a school. (Turns out it was some accountancy school.)

But! there was this even funkier stall that sold reasonably cheap coffee and tea and hot chocs... and best of all, delicious-looking gelato for $2 a cup! :)

Mmm... they have many flavours there. You simply must try the Chocolate Rocher (pronounced "Roh-cheh") flavour... the taste is really like the Ferrero Rocher chocs... with the rich texture of gelato! :) Tiramisu, chocolate, durian (D24 some more), etc. etc...

Strongly recommend you go there and get some. And dabao some for me too k? haha...
Tired, but thinking. :) Two things to jot down:

- the encouragement from God, that I need so much. Told Him I was feeling really really inadequate. Yet somehow have this unusually strong drive in me since the MACHO turbo stayover, to share and cast the uni vision to the younger bros and sisters as much as I can before i leave for the Adults ministry. Spurred on by robert's very timely lunch - which he initiated - on the very first day of the school sem.

so back to inadequacy. feel very very inadequate, Lord... esp when i'm like teaching them so many things and trying to impart spirit... i recognise my shortcomings and failings, including character failings... and i feel super unworthy to be Your servant... i'm only a member leh, and some of the younger bros and sisters are coreteam already...

yet i think while I was praying to You, You showed me Jeremiah 1 where jeremiah said to You, "Ah, Sovereign Lord, I don't know how to speak. I'm only a child."

And You told me thru that passage, "Don't say you're only a child. See, I have put my words in your mouth..."

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you... Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth... See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant."


Think need to accept this passage from God's word by faith, because i really know that i'm not a good servant of God... yet felt very encouraged... need to stay close to God, to walk right with Him... hmm... think this last 3 weeks is gonna be a rush all the way to the end... just like how You empowered Elijah to outrun Ahab's chariot down the mountain slope...

and after tat, Elijah had a big-time depression. hmm. i think that i may face that too. but i have prayed to You for rest too, after i move over. MM training, encouraging, imparting, followingup... just doing whatever i can do to rally and inspire and stir up the troops, esp the brothers...

Oh God, be with me to the very end. Be with US to the very end. In Jesus' name, amen.

and guide me too... always.

- then something v small but precious that i learnt from a dear friend yesterday at HQ. saw her very tired and obviously stressed and emotional. she was writing a prayer on her notepad. realised that tho we've v similar personalities and she's v emotional and insecure by nature, something that she has that i need to learn from is a lot of inner strength, and that comes from her heart of faithful prayer, pouring out to God, even when she finds it hard to say out, using pen and paper. truly very inspired by this dear sister's example. can see how her heart grows and is full of love for others bcos she prays and prays constantly. very inspired by her heart for God! :D

sis, if you're reading this... just to say that you're being an inspiration to us, especially when you're feeling tired and down. :) for His power's made perfect in our weaknesses.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Reading a lot of books - The Art of Connecting with People


[Browse through this book]

Still got quite a bit more. Am reading a LOT of Christian books at the moment. Think it's a blessing that God gave me, the ability to digest huge chunks of readings quickly at one go, and still capture the gist of the readings, AND remember important words. :P

Hee, I think some people are jealous of me... ha, well, to be fair, I REALLY can't sing to save my life - somehow I can roughly recall a sound or a melody, but really can't recognise a song without hearing the words first. Unless it's the National Anthem... so see, God is fair after all. ;)

Hmm... back to the point. I think my reading diet's pretty unbalanced at the moment. Hee, need to read other books too... maybe I'll go back to the Central Library to look for that book, The Art of Connecting with People.

It's an excellent book - one of the best books that I've read last year. I first saw this book in SIM's Popular bookshop, and thought of reading it, so that I can learn better how to connect with people. Even though I only managed to read a few chapters before I had to return it, this is what I've learnt:

Do to others according to their druthers.

What that simply means is that every person is a unique culture unto himself/herself. The key to connecting with a person is to find his/her unique "wavelength" so that you can "sync" with that person. I was instantly reminded of what Weizhu commented last time that initially he didn't quite know what caused people to comment that he can click very well with a wide range of people. Until he thought about it, and realised that he naturally looks for common ground between him and the other person. I think the key word here is naturally. Because the art of connecting with people is a skill that can be learnt.

This book is great for you if you're the type who enjoys reading real-life stories - the writers have liberally sprinkled many case studies to show how different methods make or break a relationship.

So something that I picked up and have started applying into my relationships is to find out what his/her personality style is, his/her relational style is etc..., social style, dress sense, interests etc and try to match that "wavelength" as best as I can. (Well, for dress sense... I am a lazy bum, need to work harder on that!) It's hard work, seriously, and many times I don't do it, but think it's really very helpful. :)

Finally, there's this Bible verse that summarises up what the book teaches... it's found in the book of Philippians: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

What does it mean to "consider others better than yourselves"? The book advises having a genuine desire to want to learn from others. That really helps to warm up the person whom you want to build a r/p wif, simply because it really feels good to be asked to share more on what you're good at! :) And to "look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others", wow, a whole book could be written on the practical applications of this verse, which, well, I think this book has been written, and written very well. :)

So my recommendation - buy, beg or borrow this book - it'll help you a lot in building your relationships! :D

[Browse through this book]

Reading a lot of books - Essence of Love Vol. II

Inspired by Vincent's postings of his book reviews, and Alan's encouraging us to read as much as we can, think I'll post a few of my own. :)

Hee, actually, I've just finished this book, Essence of Love Vol. II, which you can get from Hope Resources. It's on struggles with sexual temptations and sins, and also, how to build healthy relationships with the opposite gender.

Some things that I learnt from this book:
1. Lust isn't just a male problem. Women also have. It's just that male lust is the desire to physically "have" a woman, which objectifies the woman, making her a mere "object" rather than a human being. And female lust is the emotional kind, one that seeks to seduce and manipulate a man to fulfill her emotional desires.

So it's not wrong to have a healthy attraction for the other gender - it's just that our God-given sexual desires can become corrupted and get out of hand, thereby ruining people's lives and even health.

2. Sexual addiction is a serious problem, not only because it's morally wrong, but also because it, like alcoholism or drug addiction, literally enslaves the addict, whereby the addict gets so hooked that he/she can't control his/her intake... it becomes the no. 1 obsession, destroying the person's worklife, relationships, normal physical health, etc.

3. Be aware of the subtle triggers that causes you to stumble into sexual addiction. Triggers need not only be external e.g. a sexually titillating picture, a subtle touch or sweet talk from a man, etc; they can also be internal e.g. loneliness, disappointment, etc.

Hmm... and for the exciting part ... haha... building healthy relationships with the other gender :)

Well, in a nutshell, the important thing is to treat the other gender as friends first and foremost. It's not a mere social courtesy thing - it helps to protect both sides emotionally, mentally and even physically.

And even if there's the "click" and chemistry between both sides, don't rush, take time to build up the friendship further. One piece of advice from this book struck me in particular: Our conversations - are they Christ-centred or needs-oriented?

I'm not saying that when the guy and girl meet up, they should talk about nothing but heaven and angels and God knows what else... haha... I think even God Himself would bend down and tell them, "Aiyah, don't be so 'spiritual' lah!!! I brought you two together..." ;D

But it's important to remember, especially for us Christians, to remember that at the end of it all, it's really about building up a strong and enduring friendship that will last for all of life. And in heaven, there's no such thing as marriage. Sounds bad at first, but think about it, in heaven, we shall know each other FULLY, even better than the closest husband and wife can do so on earth. There are things that'll blow our minds up there in heaven - it's just too wonderful to describe.

And after all, I read the testimonies of old, old couples... the thing they all have in common are that they are each other's best FRIENDS. :) Of course, it's not just about friendships, but also about taking care of one another, helping one another grow... come to think of that, isn't that what friendship is all about? :)


And the men should be the ones who take the initiative to build the relationships wif the women. It's really much, much better this way, and besides, (I think) most women naturally prefer the men to take the initiative to reach out to them. It feels nice too, you know. :) (I'm not a woman lah, but I think, having a mum and two sisters does help quite a bit haha) In context, it's not only about building relationships for marriage or what, but also friendships in general.

Think I'm very blessed to have close friends who happen to be sisters - they've encouraged me a lot, and having female friends benefit me in the sense that I can express myself the emotional side of me more often with them rather than with male friends. Thru them, I learn the importance of treasuring relationships and just spending time together talking and sharing.

But the good side of having male friends is that I can enjoy healthy debates, firm discussion, challenging one another to be more driven, etc... For instance, Robert, Huanyan and Ruey Fong are wonderful buddies to me, because I really feel very refreshed everytime they share enthusiastically about their visions and dreams... :D it's really a blessing to be their friend! :D

So we need to build healthy relationships with both genders in order to develop ourselves more holistically.

The world of work

Read this Economist article on the changing nature of work around the world. Think it's quite interesting, take a look!

To see how the nature of work is changing around the world, look at the evolving strategy of a global employment provider [continue...]
Also want to thank God for a wonderful time meeting up my dear friends today. :)

Had a wonderful lunch with Robert. Really thank God for this very dear bro, he's really so passionate in his sharing, and very encouraged by his testimony of how God brought and gelled his caregroup together, from a formerly very divided and conflicted CG to one that is very united today. (I saw for myself just how united they were yesterday.) :)

Inspired too by his other sharings...

Then got the chance to chat with Swee Leong later. Chatted for a while, very encouraged by this dear bro's heart. Really very joyful at seeing how much burden and heart he has to see the brothers grow closer and stronger together in Christ... :D and thanks bro for ur feedback to me about timing, and to share what others haven't shared but want to say. :D

Then chatted with Jeffrey too. Hee, thank God for this dear bro too...

Then got a chance to help Peter with something too. :)

Very heartwarming day, really really treasure the time at HQ! :D So... warm! :D

I remember Swee Leong saying that he's very encouraged by the first day of the sem at HQ, how the bros are gathering at HQ, not like scattered all over HQ, and doing their own stuff, but just spending time together, talking and enjoying each other's company... sharing about our lives to one another, just putting our own stuff aside for a while.

Hee, Robert, if you read this entry, hope u're encouraged by this... :) I remember what you shared with me last sem.

Monday, January 8, 2007

A very sweet day! :) Really really want to thank God for today... and how He helped me thru today.

Felt very tired, 'cos was trying to sleep at 430 am, but so many things on my mind, so just got up and started praying. Just really needed that time of fellowship with God, because v physically tired and can feel a sore throat coming on.

So prayed to Daddy to heal my throat, and wow, thank God! I'm so touched - i just realised that I didn't have any more sore throat today! :)

Hee... to be honest, I'm very grateful that He chose to hear my prayer and heal me - it may seem like a very small thing, but there are so many small things that He has taken care of over the years, that I know could have been explained by "natural causes". But the funny thing is, the more I pray, the more these "coincidences" happen. Really. :) Anyway, I don't care what an atheist may say - I still believe in God no matter what.

The atheist will charge, "You are blind, because you have faith."

Nah... it's the other way. "I need faith, precisely because I am blind!" Just like how the blind man shouted out to Jesus, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" And Jesus came and healed him.

Was reading the passage in Mark where the people from Jesus' hometown took offense at Jesus, wondering how he could do miracles, since he was a very ordinary guy. "Isn't this the carpenter?"

And that's the strange thing. They saw the miracles that He did, and yet took offense at him. Wonder why. But things like this do happen. So miracles don't produce faith. Rather, it's faith in God that causes miracles to happen.

Perhaps we're looking too much at the dichotomy between "miracles" and "normal things". If you think a bit more about it, life itself is a miracle! The very fact that I can walk is a miracle! Something as ordinary as snow falling in one place (say Siberia? Was going to say New York, but just read the news today and seems that it's getting awfully hard to find snow nowadays) is a miracle in another place. (Think snow falling in the Sahara Desert and you get the idea.) Perhaps we have lost the sense of wonder at the "ordinary" things in life, having lost our childlikeness. See the face of a little child who sees snow for the first time... a formerly blind man seeing the colours of a rainbow for the first time... a formerly paralysed child learning the wonder of walking...

All these are miracles - just "natural" miracles. :)

So let's thank the One who makes "ordinary" miracles happen every day.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Something that struck me today after talking with some brothers: some people, we really feel very comfortable and willing to share deeply with, even tho we only know them for a short while.

Why? Think one reason is because they have a very gentle spirit. Nothing to do with personalities - there are two dear bros - Kin Wee and Ruey Fong - both of them have very, very different personalities, but both of them have this spirit that is very gentle. You KNOW that you can trust them with your darkest secrets, and they will never reject you, but accept you. "The fruit of the Spirit is... gentleness..." (Galatians 5) and the Lord Jesus Himself said: "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am GENTLE AND HUMBLE IN HEART, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I realised that gentleness is not a personality trait - it's a character trait. Think of a gentle giant. He could crush everything in his way if he wanted, but you know that he'd never do that, simply because his character is gentle.

And I realised I need to grow in gentleness. Very often, I tend to let my anger get out of control when i feel angry about something. "In your anger do not sin." (Ephesians) How true... and how often I fail to keep this command. So shall make this one of my prayer points, and New Year's resolution, to grow in gentleness, to bear this particular fruit of the Spirit.

Just a thought: What is true gentleness?
What Peter shared with me when I asked him what can we do to try passing on the uni ministry vision to the younger ones: Can share Bible verses with them. Also share from your heart your spirit, your passion. You may not impact everyone, but if you impact one good seed, you will end up impacting others.

And thank You so much Lord for Zhiwei! :D Today, after YF, Flince and I followed up on him, he made the decision to commit to a local church. :) very encouraged - hee, we were very encouraged by his willingness to obey God's Word. :D
What a wonderful Friday and Saturday... =)

Had met up with Shuyi in the morning to share encouragement ideas and suggestions.

Then later met up with my friends from my HYP lab for a reunion dinner - and in good time too, for Vincent was flying off on Jan 17 (or is it 18?) to the USA for his PhD. Really a good time with Qiyue, Vin, Dongfeng and Sebastian - thank God for you guys, really enjoyed the time catching up with you! So sorry I couldn't stay longer...

Because I had a brothers' gathering at Flince's house later on. We had a very mini-dialogue session with Alan Tea. He's a very inspiring bro with a very deep passion for God, and he also shines very brightly as a Masters grad and a career portfolio ranging from Ministry of Foreign Affairs to his current job establishing his consulting company.

There's a lot of things that he shared.
1. He shared about the importance of the tertiary ministry, how these young bright students will go on to make an impact in the working world, and society at large. The harsh reality is that the brighter students are going to be the ones who impact society much more, and in a way, that's true because God gives different people different levels of talent. Catch is, He expects much more of those He has given more than of those He has given less.

2. Connecting with other people who aren't Christians - we aren't called to shy away from them. They have values too, just like us, just that their values may be different from ours. But one thing for sure - we all share common "existential struggles" e.g. BGR, hope for a good job, food, games, etc... there are universal things that we can connect over. He shared a wonderful example about his own friend, even though he may not share the same Christian values as him - his friend recently wrote a very very long card of deep thanks and appreciation to him for their friendship - even though this guy is super-busy as a high-flyer!

3. Maintaining friendships after we move apart e.g. going to different ministries:
Fact is, "out of sight, out of mind" rings very true. There are friendships that feels like they haven't changed a single bit, even after many years apart, yet others that have grown cold after just a few months apart.

A possible reason is because some are the "high-maintenance" type of people who need you to spend regular time often with them to keep the friendship gg, and there are the "low-maintenance" type, who you don't need to meet up with often.

(Hee, I know one of my dear friends, SS, is definitely the "low-maintenance" type... he said to me a few days ago that it's been a long time since we last met up... so I asked him when he wants to meet up? He replied, "In June." 6 months later... haha... but I really enjoy and treasure his friendship. :))

Hmm... think I'm probably the high-maintenance type I think. Kin Wee commented that I keep on saying "It's been AGES since I last saw you..." when it was actually just two weeks ago. :P yah... I'm really not quite sure... because I'm also quite comfortable with meeting up friends once in a blue moon. Maybe it's a combination of my melancholic (likes being alone) and phlegmatic (likes being with people) self that makes me like that.

But anyway, Alan shared that one thing for sure - whether you're the high or low-maintenance type, it's essential to invest time and effort into maintaining your friendships. Ideally, the relationship is a "co-shared" one in which both parties take the time and effort to keep in touch with one another. But hee, in reality, I've got to play my own part too.

Felt very touched by his sharing, really felt that it reflects very similar to my own personal experiences.

So that sharing made me pause to thank God for my HYP friends - think the one year doing our Honours proj together really bonded us together, especially when we were complaining at times about our supervisor... :P nothing like a common "enemy" to unite us together... haha...

And I also recall with sadness a very dear brother of mine whom we really enjoyed the time together. But partly due to his increasing roles and responsibilities in ministry, and my own laziness and preoccupation with my own stuff, I failed to keep in touch, and I think eventually we've drifted apart. We keep in occasional contact from time to time, but yeah, the friendship feels quite surface now.

But I think got to thank God for this very dear friendship all the same. I was very blessed by him, and I also had the chance to bless him too before. As a poet once wrote, "Tis' better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Think it's very true...

4. Then Ellson asked Alan, what makes Alan the person that he is now, living a life that inspires others greatly?

What Alan shared really struck me very much. He shared that he feels very humbled that people will look up to him, because he knows that he has a lot of shortcomings (and shared an example with us). But yes, there's one thing he does that helps him, and other people, become all they can be: "Courage to be used by God despite their shortcomings." He said that he regularly reflects on his shortcomings, his sins, because this helps him remember the grace of God on his life, what he was like before he came to know God. So that he will not become proud.

Alan also shared that it's very important to read constantly, even if you can't finish the books... in fact he said, "People who don't read will not go far." Maybe in yesteryear's societies when people can't read, that'll be false... but now, yes, it's very true.

So we don't just read Christian books only, or just novels... we need to read non-Christian non-fiction books too! We can learn a lot by reading these books... and he mentioned that all this reading helps to train your mind to think well, even those academic "junk" with strange ideas that you read in school... you learn to critique and so on. As you read more and more, your mind "chunks" the information acquired until with sufficient knowledge, it eventually reaches a "tipping point" at which you will be able to think and analyse very well.

Finally, he added, continue to do whatever you're passionate at. Whether it's computer games or sports or reading, etc., as long as you don't become addicted to it, JUST DO IT! :) Because God gave you that passion as part of His purpose for you, so just enjoy it!

*******
Ha... after all that sharing, it was a very good time of fellowship with the brothers who stayed over at Flince's house. Really so happy, the memories, and the game of Bluff and Happy Family, haha, and the supper at 230 am and tons and tons of army stories... wow... and the singing... we were singing "Mighty to Save" at the top of our voices at 5 am!!! and the overnite talking... we talked all the way from about 5.45 am all the way to 9.30 am. Guanrui, Flince, Bowen, Swee Leong, Zhenzhong and I stayed up... Jan walked back home after the supper.

Hmm... also want to thank God for Guanrui. Had a really wonderful time of sharing and chatting under the moonlit sky at the doorsteps... very blessed by this very dear bro, really enjoy talking with him lots! V encouraged by how he has experienced God and abt the time he was at the previous farewell chalet for the uni graduates as a year-"0" pre-ORD...

Yup yup...

Friday, January 5, 2007

The Other Born-Again President

We can never know the real story about a President's faith. We know only what he does--or refuses to do--in God's name. Voters were unwilling to forgive Gerald Ford for his great act of forgiveness, the unconditional pardon of Richard Nixon. But there was another side to the pardon, the presidency and the 1976 campaign that received much less attention, in part because Ford wanted it that way. The contest between Ford and Jimmy Carter was a battle between two born-again Christians--but only one was willing to run as one...
[continue reading]

A very inspiring article from TIME magazine... not only about the late ex-President Gerald Ford, but also about the man who reached out to him and later, discipled him. Imagine the impact one man had on another man - who would later go on to become the President of the USA in an hour when America was in a serious leadership crisis. His integrity and honesty testified for him, both in office and during a Congressional inquiry regarding his unconditional pardon of his disgraced predecessor, Richard Nixon.

And in comparison to the "public piety" of some US presidents... not that Ford was ashamed to say that he was a Christian, but rather, he refused to use his faith as a means to advance himself politically. Food for thought... especially in America's political atmosphere of today.

"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

And this one too - think it's very helpful to me too in my search for His calling for me. :) I remember Hanhui exhorting me to have this 'holy discontent' in my heart...

Oh just to clarify what I mean by "Holy Discontent":

Simply means that you're not satisfied with this life - you need something much greater to live for. And shouldn't we have this hunger in our hearts to make something meaningful of our lives? Our lives are worth far, far too much to indulge on ourselves only. No, they were meant to be poured out into other people's lives.

(That's why I can't stand the Centrepoint ads... they promote a self-serving, self-indulgent agenda... I mean, it's not wrong to enjoy ourselves, but... life is so much more than just living for ourselves only!)

I remember reading in Reader's Digest many years ago about this brilliant man, Admiral Hyman G. Rickover, who was regarded as "Father of the Nuclear Navy", and achieved many, many things in his long life. But on his deathbed, he turned to his friend (think it was Jimmy Carter) and asked him, "What have I done with my life, really?"

His friend didn't know what to say, so he tried, "Think about the impact you've left behind on people..."

The admiral thought about it and said, "Ah. The impact on people. I think I can live with that." And with that, he died shortly after.

Somehow, it struck me as very meaningful. After I die, what will I have made of my life? Reminded of "Tuesdays with Morrie" - there's this quote that says: "Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live." (Thanks for sharing that quote, Qiyue! :))

So as a Christian, I believe that God put me, and you, and everyone else here on earth. And each one of us has a unique purpose that no one else can ever fulfill. As a dear friend put it this way, "Go and be all you can be in christ. the impact we will have on the world will vary. and no one can take the place of what we can contribute this lifetime."

But the question is then, what is that SPECIFIC purpose and calling in this life? That's where the "Holy Discontent" part comes in - our hearts aching together with God's heart over this broken world. But from what I learnt from history, all too often, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Think the Nazis, think the Communists. Utopias become dystopias. That is the outcome of what happen when men try to make a difference... without knowing WHERE to make a difference.

Like a brain surgeon who cuts. He must know exactly where to cut. Or else it would have been better if he'd never cut in the first place. So that's why we need to know exactly WHERE to make our "cuts". And only the Creator of the universe can show us precisely where to cut. We are just the scalpels. He is the Surgeon. We mustn't ever reverse the roles.

Taken from Popeye Theology: A New Year's Meditation
  1. Not every heart stirring is a call or an invitation from God;
  2. Don't give up if Holy Discontent takes a while to build up within you;
  3. When you discover your Holy Discontent from God, FEED IT!
  4. Don't let yourself get so beaten up that you lose your hope.


I would add a fifth: Don't get discouraged if you make a move that you believed was a 'Call from God' and it doesn't work out. God believes in failures and is willing to work with them! The Bible is full of examples of such people, including Rahab the Prostitute and Jacob the Cheater!

[F]or some of you reading this, there is a Holy Discontent brewing in your life and you may need to heed the prompting of the Holy Spirit to step out into the deeper waters.

So, when you feel the Heavy Hand of God pushing you in a direction you are not comfortable with, ask Him to show you the things that break His heart.

Just because I stepped out in faith and found out it was [sic] working for me, doesn't mean that I have missed the Will of God. I feel like Thomas Edison who said that he found out a thousand ways a light bulb doesn't light up. In this process, I have found out where I fit and can best serve the Lord.

"broken by the things that break the heart of God"

I read this yesterday, and think it's very timely :)

From Popeye Theology: A New Year's Meditation
Pastor Joel told the story of Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision, who in 1947 went to visit a school in China and was confronted with a young, battered and bruised child. That experience prompted Pierce to start his ministry, "coz I can't stands it no more!"

Pierce said that he prayed: "Dear Lord, let me be broken by the things that break the heart of God."

My pastor then illustrated the same principle from the life of Moses, where he couldn't stand the sound of the mistreated Hebrew slaves in Egypt anymore; by the example of Fern Nichols who founded Moms In Touch in 1984; from the life of Nehemiah and his sorrow over the broken walls of Jerusalem; and from the story of David, who couldn't stand Goliath's ungodly taunts anymore.

Pastor Joel asked us: "Where in your world and daily life do you see what breaks the heart of God?" and: "Are you ready to say, 'That's all I can stands, coz I can’t stands no more!' " ?

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Just finished discussing with Alan over the phone about the website that I'm programming for his company. Haha... really very nice to be able to chat with him, think both of us are, in his words, "hard-core C persons" (that's another word for detailed people). =)

Tink it's really funny too, being able to joke about very small stuff and things like that. And about English words too... he was an Eng major, so I learnt something new from him:

Did you know that "can" and "could", when used in relation to a request e.g. "Can you drive tonight?" "Could you drive tonight?" are two very different meanings.

Internationally, outside of Singapore, when people use "can" in their questions, they mean whether you are able to.

But only in Singapore (and probably JB and some say even Batam), "Can you drive tonight?" == "Could you drive tonight?"


Ah... English is such an enchanting language. :)

And for the C and Java languages, = != ==. Think only WZ and other fellow geeks can get this... ;)

But oh yah, thank God also for the opportunity to pray for Alan over the phone too. :) He was feeling very tired after a long day's hard work, so prayed for him over the phone, that he'd be refreshed. :) Initially felt quite shy offering to pray for him, but thank God that he's blessed! Haha... thank You Daddy!

Feeling Edgy

Think I now know why I felt so edgy, and how come I've been writing so much.

Another loose end being tied up.

Think what I'm really been doing is searching for a calling, something greater than myself.

Thank God. Was praying to Him just now, and while I didn't hear from Him immediately, I know that He was listening.

And I think He's helping me clarify my thoughts and understanding and direction.

As I remember, Peter shared with me, "Since you're going to work one-third of your life, you might as well choose a job that matches your calling. :)"

Hee... Dear Lord, please show me what exactly is Your calling for me, on my life.

Of Opportunities to Change the World

Hmm... just sitting back now. Supposed to meet a friend today, but we postponed it to tomorrow instead.

Actually felt a bit scared that tomorrow, also, cannot meet due to some unforeseen circumstances. Then thought about it, and also reminded of what RF had told me yesterday during lunchtime, that God is the One who grants us opportunities, be what they may:

"I know a lot of people who have been working very hard by their own strength, but they are still struggling in their work environments after so long. That's why opportunities (in your job) are very important. In a way, you need to be the lucky one.

So that's why it is very important to walk right with God. Walk right with God, and He will walk right with you."


You know, it's not every time that someone says something, and that something impacts you down to the very core of your foundations. I think this is one of those times that happens. If there is any foundation that I could lay down for my working life, for the next 40 years, I want this to be mine: "Walk right with God, and He will walk right with you."

It strikes me as very meaningful, because I also know of many friends who faithfully work hard, but to what purpose are they labouring, being stuck in the same old position?

As one brother wrote in his blog,
cos i dun tink u can experience God much if u dun venture,have faith to step out to try new things,change yr old mindset,attitudes..guess it's linked to our breakthru campaign..i do question n think when i hear many bros n sis..they want to be counsellors..or they end up doing sales/administrative work..i dun deny dat there r some who r interested in e fields in e first place..it's their calling but e qn is: have we given much thought to seek God's purpose in all tis decision-making..it can be too comfortable of a decision to take..is there any element of faith n kingdom mentality invol? tink that is wat we r trying to do ba i guess..i do tink it is not easy for me, knowing my phlegmatic self, w'd be a tedious one n require personal commitment n faith..but w'd try anyway


The key thing here is not about personal self-advancement or self-actualization or self-internationalization or whatever - it is all about making an impact on the world.

A very memorable story that I heard was that Steve Jobs, the boss of Apple Computer, tried again and again to recruit John Scully, the vice-president of Coca-Cola, with many attractive promises, but again and again, Scully refused.

Finally, after exhausting all his options, Jobs finally said, "Do you want to sell sugared water for the rest of your life, or do you want to change the world?"

*******

So the lesson I think I've learnt from what RF shared with me is that even if we really want to make a good difference to the world, we still need opportunities to thrive and excel. And where do good opportunities come from? Well, hee, they come from God, who chooses to bless whoever He wants to choose. :) Then it's up to us to make the most of the opportunity that He has given us, for better or for worse. As Jesus once said, "Whoever makes the most of the opportunity he has will be given more, and whoever does not have, even whatever he has will be taken away from him."

Of course, I'm also thinking about the other side of the equation: if we eagerly desire to make an impact, to make this world a better place, we should eagerly ask God to give us the opportunities that we so need. Because without the opportunities that God gives, we really can't do very much. "Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain."

Take for instance, the story of Joseph, who became Prime Minister of Egypt (probably during Hyksos rule). Joseph worked hard and excelled in the talent of administration God gave him - even while he was a slave, and later a prisoner. He excelled so well that the warden practically handed Joseph the keys to take care of the other prisoners!

Wow... I heard also that in a certain African country, the Christian leaders who were in prison for their faith, their conduct was so exemplary that the wardens would hand them their rifles to take care of while they went to take a break! Gosh... I want to be like that too (in conduct I mean, not in prison haha... if possible of course).

And later on, after 2 or 3 years in prison, waiting and waiting, finally, Joseph was brought before Pharaoh to interpret a dream for Pharaoh, which would eventually involve Egypt's very survival. As such, God, through Pharaoh, exalted Joseph straight from the prison to become Prime Minister of all Egypt!

Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace, and all my people are to submit to your orders. Only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you."

So Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt."

Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, "I am Pharaoh, but without your word no one will lift hand or foot in all Egypt."


Hee... imagine, a prisoner from Changi Prison goes on to become Prime Minister of Singapore... (ok, I'll add the disclaimer here that Joseph was innocent but was wrongly imprisoned...)

*******

But why am I thinking that advancing in the working world is integral to making an impact in the world? Or for that matter, it's not only about making an impact - it's about CHANGING the world for the better, even if it looks hopeless. (Think Mother Teresa, Billy Graham, Abraham Lincoln, etc.)

I was discussing with Peter about how to make a difference in the media industry. Something that Peter said struck me. He said that if we want to change the media industry for the better, we need to impact the big shots in the media industry. If we go for the "small-fry" e.g. the boy who brings the kopi-O for the director, seriously, just how effective can that be?

Not that I'm saying that the value of the "small-fry" people are lesser than the "big-fry". (They're just equally fried. Haha... ok bad joke. ;P More like stir-fried and deep-fried. How unhealthy!) But we're talking about changing the entire media industry for Christ!

By changing the media industry, I don't mean giving the whole world "Christian" videos to watch. Nah. I think some of the "Christian" movies are so thin on plot that even Jesus Himself wouldn't enjoy them. ;) LOL... Ok, I know He'd be very gracious... but heh, you see what I mean.

What I mean is that the media industry is being dominated by increasingly lower and lower quality movies and other shows. We want GOOD stories. We want stories that will touch our hearts and give us hope. Inspire us on towards nobler deeds. Change lives, even. Stories like Forrest Gump, Brotherhood, Rain Man... and Narnia, and Lord of the Rings... hee, I guess the fact that there are still such good movies around gives us hope! :) Not depressing, nihilistic movies like Kill Bill or Curse of the Golden Flower...

But what's wrong with a cheap story? Well, don't want to sound like a cranky old codger, but the thing is that media is to our minds what food is to our bodies. Feed the mind (too much) junk media and you get bloated unhealthy minds. Feed the mind nourishing media, and you get healthy minds.

Furthermore, I have heard stories of exploitation in the media industry. Financial exploitation and unfair treatment of media workers who have to work long painful hours. I don't know very much about this, but hope I can help make a difference here too.

*******

To be honest, I'm feeling quite apprehensive still, because I know I'm not the natural "industry" person type. Frankly, I'd rather spend time with a camera going around doing documentaries about current affairs... solo or with a friend. Guess that arises from the phlegmatic part of me, always wanting to stay within my easy comfort zone. But I can't. Not while there's a world that needs God's love. So I'll see where God leads me - even though I can't understand fully at the moment what His full plan for my life is, though He has blessed me with wonderful, wonderful opportunities to extend and develop my talents, both in and out of the church.

In fact, hee, I'm quite glad that I didn't get any scholarships that bonded me to some engineering or IT company (which I had applied for), because if I did, as I found out over the past 4.5 years, I really wouldn't enjoy these jobs very much. Programming, hah! :) After my HYP, I KNOW THAT I DON'T WANT TO DO PROGRAMMING FOR THE NEXT 40 YEARS OF MY LIFE. (Maybe 1 year can lah. At most!)

*******
Hmm. After so much writing, think just want to sum everything up in a few sentences. I need to hunger more to want to make a difference in this world, to transform people's lives for the better. And I want to do it the best way possible. But I need to remember, ultimately, God is in charge - I'm just one of His instruments that He wants to use to change the world for the better. So I need to pray to Him for opportunities to make a difference, eyes to see them, and for myself to be faithful with the opportunities that He has already given me.

Friend, God has given each and every one of us so many opportunities, no matter who we are. Opportunities to help the helpless... transform lives... reform entire industries... end wars... charter the destinies of nations, even! So won't you take the opportunity to seize life as He has given us, seize the opportunity?

As this bro wrote, "i do tink it is not easy for me, knowing my phlegmatic self, w'd be a tedious one n require personal commitment n faith..but w'd try anyway".

Amen! Because life as a child of God is not about the church only - it is about the whole wide world!

God, give me more opportunities, and help me seize them! :) In Jesus' name, amen!

So that I can share more testimonies of what You've done in my life in time to come. =D

Our Father, who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven...

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Just came back from the train with YF and HT.

HT asked me when I'll be moving over.

That sparked off something in me that I wanted to say, but didn't know how to say it.

Shared with HT and YF that I was feeling this sense of loss of direction after having finished my time in the NUS ministry, and HT said that the bros and sisters who have gone over to Adults ministry will be able to help me adjust.

Yet it didn't feel very complete, and I couldn't exactly put my finger on the reason why.

But now I think I know why. Because it wasn't only about adjusting to a new group. It was about missing the people that I'll be leaving behind.

Hmm... I can imagine what the other bros'll be saying - it's ok lah, we'll see each other again! But realistically speaking, I guess there's this feeling of missing them that'll stay with me for a while.

I wonder if I should shake off that feeling, or keep it with me. Because I'm afraid that I'll lose contact with them in due time. :) Hee... think all the more that I need to faithfully keep in touch with them face-to-face. Because, somehow, sending SMSes and even phonecalls can't seem to match the joy of meeting up face-to-face.

Hee... I remember reading what someone wrote before:
"I have a lot more things to tell you, but I'd rather not use paper and ink. I hope to be there soon in person and have a heart-to-heart talk. That will be far more satisfying to both you and me."


Think it's very meaningful, these words. :) Echoes precisely what I was thinking.

Perhaps that's a wonderful thing actually, that one misses the people that he/she leaves behind, even for a very short while. Because you never know how much you really treasure your loved ones until you can't see them again. Hee...

Maybe I'll see it this way, then, that this is a blessed time to get to know more people, make more friends... to increase the total number of dear brothers and sisters that I'll get to meet in heaven, once again, and for all eternity.

And, truly, we shall never part again for ever and ever.

Note to self

Learn to see home as a ministry area too.

"In the same way, let your light shine before [your family], that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

:)

Monday, January 1, 2007

Thanksgiving points for 2006!

Hee... think this is spring coming now, spring in the air. Where faith, hope and love are starting to blossom.

Yeah! Shall write down my thanksgiving point for 2006... You have been wonderfully, wonderfully good to me! :D

Think the first thanksgiving point I really want to thank You Lord for, are the dear friends, both old and new, that I got to know deeper...
Ruey Fong, Huanyan, Weizhu, Peter, Bowen, Hongtao, Yufen, Flince, Hongtao, Robert, Kin Wee, Mich, Jan, Benny, Calyn, Jitsy, Zhenzhu, Shuyi, Qiaoping, Edwin, Tamar, Guanzhen, Joyce, Minchen, Guanrui, Swee Leong, Jiahao, Yanteng, etc...

and the second one to thank You Lord for...
for Zhiwei coming to know Christ!!! Hahah...

and the 3rd one... how You grew me in developing this MM talent that You have given me...
from making tertiary service adverts for FFF camp,
to making MM clips for Alpha in June...
and finally to church-level Christmas MM...

I'm so incredibly touched by Your goodness and grace. =)
I remember responding to Your call in 2005 during church camp to make an impact for You in the media industry...
and how You heard my prayer... though I was trembling and barely lifted up my hand, felt so unworthy and shameful...

yet... "this poor man called, and the LORD answered him..."

and how my dear shepherd, it turns out, also had the same burden as me... in fact, he mentored me in this area, and helped, thru his gift of faith, stir up my own faith too...
that with God, all things are possible!

And the 4th one... academically, You have blessed me... in terms of grades and quality of work...
especially when i was struggling with my computing modules, You blessed me more and more in the media modules...

and the 5th one... children's ministry...
realising that You have enabled me to minister to children...

and the 6th one... the name change... from Ian to Abraham...
the promise of a great multitude that no one can count...

and the 7th one... the hostel stay - AND the bros and sisters who were there...
Qiaoping, Tamar, Edwin and Zhenzhong... wow, such a wonderful experience... finally i got to experience the joy of hostel life with bros and sisters...

and the 8th one... for helping me grow in humility...
really really needed it... esp after Peter's scolding me...
that i need to grow in a broken spirit... praise You Jesus! :D

and the 9th one... for Alpha 2006! WOW!!! the wonderful influx of new brothers and sisters...
seeing Wenjuan come to know Christ too... hahaha... and Ceyang too!

and the 10th one... for the times sowing with Mich and Jan... it was a truly wonderful time of serving and planning together...

and the 11th one... for the times sowing on Zhiwei with Flince and Yufen... a very very precious time... esp serving tog with Flince - he's become a very dear friend and bro to me thru this exp - i get to know him much better...

and the 12th one... the dinners with Claire and Chiyen... for the hostelites... wow!!! what an experience!

and the 13th one... the subd camp... hee... i remember working on the MM clip with Weilong... really really learnt a lot from his spirit of sticking faithfully to a task to meet the deadline... this impacted my future MM work... thank you, Weilong, for being one of those who impacted my life!

and the 14th one... Peter's affirmation of me during the bday celeb he had for me... it was very heartwarming... hee... thank You Lord for this affirmation of me... really really treasure it lots!

there's simply so much more to write, to thank You Lord for...

Psalm 40:5
"Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare."


Oh... I want to cry haha... so so many beautiful memories... You have been incredibly, incredibly good to me, a sinner, O Lord!

*******
Hmm... lessons learnt...

On a more sober note, some things that I learnt from my mistakes in 2006:

1. The importance of building up trust in people...
Even if you have good advice to build... you need to build up the trust between you and the other person first...

2. Being overly-friendly...
Quite paiseh to share this actually, but learning further about the right boundaries between me and the opposite gender... thank God for the bros and sisters who fed back to me... :) really really deeply apprec it lots, need ur guidance and advice!

Especially in r/p with sisters, 'cos they tend to be very sensitive to such things... special thanks to Robert who taught me a lot in this area... haha...

and thank God for Flince who fed back to me on this area...

realised that this being overly-friendly is due to a mixture of my own insecurity, wanting people to like me... and also becos of my impatience in building up relationships...

Actually, realised that people tend to be naturally attracted to me... as long as i'm being myself... something that i discovered during school term as well...

3. Being patient in building up relationships...
This is something i really have to be aware of... as Peter pointed out to me...

And in sowing, wow... this patience reaped a very surprising reward... there's one of my old friends who started sharing some very personal stuff with me... i was very touched when he did that... 'cos tink it's one of the first times that he had shared so personally to me... or others to me, for that matter...

so learnt the blessing of being quick to listen and slow to speak...

4. the difference between being ppl-oriented and relationship-oriented...

wow... this was a major eye-opener... realised that i'd been going in the wrong direction... because actually i'm much more relationship-oriented than people-oriented... so finally understood that...

5. being more socially and situationally aware...
think it doesn't come naturally to me... but i'm grateful for my dear shepherd who taught me to be more considerate of others... e.g. not grabbing other pple's food too much... and being aware of my own volume when i'm not wearing my hearing aids... because if i don't wear hearing aids, i tend to speak VERY loudly...

(and if i wear hearing aids, people say i'm speaking too softly... wah... hahah tink quite funny in a way...)

6. being more considerate of other pple's feelings (esp in the area of meeting deadlines...)
this one, ah... wah, with my project group - they really stressed by my slowness... and also in ministry too... Hong Teck was so worried that i wouldn't be able to finish on time too... and Kin Wee was chasing me to complete the Christmas MM...

So Peter advised me to do things faster the next time... yup... tink it's against my natural phlegmatism, but hee, don't want to stress out my partners...

7. and especially important... something that Peter taught me... to learn to be aware of when i am going to sin... e.g. if i know i'm going to be proud, then i must be aware of that, so that i can flee from temptation...

*******
Some things I have grown in in 2006...
Hmm... think thank God so much, He's helped me grow in humility... and in understanding of humility too...

1. realised that we will ALWAYS be proud... if i think, "Wow! I'm humble..." then win already - you're already on the road to pride... i went down that way before... and it is horrible...

So true humility ironically starts with acknowleding that you are PROUD... that is the first step to becoming humble... to have a BROKEN SPIRIT...

(think this is the most important truth that i've learnt from Peter this year...)

and be teachable... to have a hungry heart to want to learn new things... to be hungry even for rebukes and correction... to LOVE CORRECTION! (Prov 12:1) to HUNGER for it!!!

this is something that actually i've been slipping in in the past few months... so quite sad, actually... but i'm grateful that God helped me realise that i am becoming proud... because everytime I sin, it helps remind me that I need a Saviour...

so precious this truth... that Jesus died for my sins...

2. in a sweet spirit... hee.. this is something that touches my heart a lot... thank You so much, Jesus!

Learnt this from QP and Shuyi's lives... Weizhu and Peter both said that I have grown in a sweet spirit... wow... praise Jesus! because it really is NOT me... but it is the Holy Spirit!!! "Taste and see that the LORD is good!!!"

3. to be more stable emotionally, especially when i'm being hurt by someone else... this one, yufen taught me... reconcilation and patience... with the end goal of wanting to reconcile...

4. to have a more driven and optimistic spirit... something that I learnt from Ruey Fong... a spirit that wants to do something for Jesus... to use my imagination for God... to capture my negative thoughts and use them well for Him...

something that RF told me was that I think too little of myself... hmm... yeah, think that's true... really want to grow in faith in claiming God's promises in 2007!

5. the principle of followership... something that Alan Tea taught us in the last District 242 before he moved on...

thank God for my dear shepherd... hee, think really have learnt a lot from his life, his faith and his love...

6. following up on Zhiwei... learnt a lot too... wow... learning to have a shepherd's heart... special thanks to YF who taught me a lot...

7. learning to be more sensitive to others' countenances - again, something that Peter taught me... it is an essential skill if you want to be able to take care of people... and thank God, Huili said that i am a very sensitive and observant bro... wow... thank God so much... because I know that this is NOT the natural Yeu Ann... but again then, I have been crucified with Christ, and it is I that no longer lives, but Christ who lives in me! :D Amen!

8. Learning to be more vulnerable and more open in my sharing... something that Peter taught me a LOT too. Think it's something I still find it a bit hard, but thank God, He's been teaching me a lot about being humble enough to open up my heart to share more openly about my weaknesses... and what YF told us, to be more spontaneous in sharing... think this is something that Bowen and Minchen have set an example for me in...

9. Learning to encourage and influence the younger ones to help take care of and enfold the even younger ones... thanks a lot, Mich and YF for what you taught me! :D

*******
Hmm... there's so many more... but well, like what Jasmine said in the last tertiary service of 2006, 2007 will be an even better year! Amen!

Yup... hold my hand, Daddy, 'cos really feel quite uncertain how this year is going to unfold. But one thing I pray... please help me love you deeper and to grow in character... and by Your grace, as I walk with You more, tt You may use me to impact other lives in the Adults ministry this year...

and most of all, really praying that I want to have an eager heart to minister to others...

not to be inwards-looking, but outwards-looking...

to take the initiative to serve and meet the needs of others...

to grow in security of heart...

remembering to keep my desire for God central...

to be salt and light in the workplace, being faithful, efficient and effective in the workplace...

(thankful for my HYP friends haha... :D)

to "only let us live up to what i have already attained."
(Yup! the FOUR PILLARS of the UNI DISTRICT VISION!)

Wow, it's been more than an hour. :D So let's remember the Lord's final words before He ascended to heaven...

Matthew 28:18-20
"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Thanks so much Daddy, feel much better after praying to You. :)

Think You reminded me, I've got so much free time now, so why not use this time that You have given me to bless others?
Or to bless You?

Anything done in His name, no matter how little, will never be in vain. He will remember... :)

Father, please help me use this time purposefully for You Lord. To extend Your kingdom... to love You Lord, to love my neighbour as myself. In Jesus' most wonderful name, I pray amen! :)


Just saw Jiadai's nickname... it struck me a lot: "e way i live my life shows You how much I love You."

And every experience, whether good or bad, can be a good learning experience. :)

Just like how, after playing 1.5 hours of computer games, I felt so empty inside, that helps to remind me how thirsty life is without You.

I do love You, Jesus, I do! Really want to seek Your will, want to seek Your way.

Not my will but Yours be done.

To bring a smile to Your face - that is all my heart's desire, and I long to worship You.

Thank You dear Jesus... please forgive me for wasting this precious time You have given me, and enable Your servant to be an instrument of blessing...
a broken jar of clay to pour out Your love to those around You.

Thank You Jesus... for being my strength, when i am weak.
Thank You Jesus... for being the treasure that i seek.
Thank You Jesus... for being my all in all.

:)

Feel so much more encouraged and lifted up...
Realised it's Your Spirit now gently prodding me, now gently lifting me up.
This year is a year of so much promise, so much hope.
Help me take that step, and not be afraid to make mistakes.

Yep! Not to be afraid to make mistakes - and to humbly learn from them!
Want to make this one of my New Year's Resolutions! :)

Hee... feel so much better, after being able to pour out everything to You, Daddy, in this journal.

Curse of the Golden Flower

Had watched it with my parents, as I mentioned earlier. Think it's a very good movie, actually, in terms of symbolism and depth, and particularly, the narrative with the interestingly ambiguous ending of the cup of poisonous medicine splattering on the chrysanthemum symbol. And the cinematography and characterisation was very good, especially the Emperor's barely perceptible quivering pause of his chopsticks when his last surviving son committed suicide, despite his non-chalant expression.

Think something that saddened me a lot was the tragedy that befell the entire royal family, and so many men slaughtered... all because of the scheming and plotting of the Emperor who had used backhanded means and deception to get the throne for himself so many years ago. And he ended up getting back more than what he had expected.

Another thing that struck me was the unspoken visual commentary on the pagentry and pomp of the royal palace, and how all this beautiful visuals (including Tang Dynasty fireworks!) served as a mere veneer for the politics and intrigue and deceit and backstabbing that so went on.

One of the darkest scenes that showed the cheapness of human lives was how, after the ruthless and efficient slaughter of the rebel troops in the courtyard, the palace servants dragged the thousand of dead bodies aside, swept the place clean and washed the blood away - all highlighted in vivid detail and colour. For a moment, the slain troops looked to me like dead honeybees on the smashed crysanthemum flowers - a silent commentary to the fleeting evanescence of men's lives under a brutal system?

Some interesting cinematographic aspects and themese that I picked up from the film - learnt this from Claramae! :)
Repetition: The constant use of repetitive patterns inscribed into every level of the film narrative lend themselves to a powerful motif of royal splendour and grandeur, while simultaneously accenting the repetitive and bland nature of life in the royal palace itself. Also, the repetitive sounds in the music lend themselves very well to the overall tone and mood of the film.

Contrast: The warm informal banter, playful even, and the visibly emotional anguish later of the Imperial Doctor and his family (all non-royal), and Chan, the Doctor's daughter, when she is playfully being caressed by her lover, the First Crown Prince, are a vivid contrast in tone to the stilted, formal dialogue between the royal family members themselves. The cold, self-serving nature of the royal family is a drastic contrast to the passionate, sacrificial love that the non-royal family shows one another - e.g. the Imperial Doctor sacrificing his life for his wife, his wife willing to risk her life to rescue her daughter...

Close-ups: The director has made very skilful use of the close-ups e.g. the preparation of the medicine, the chopsticks, etc.

Symbolisms

Props

Yup, think quite a bit haha...

Loss of Direction

Wow, just came back from watching "Curse of the Golden Flower" with my parents, and supper with them too. =) We drove through City Hall, in the hope of catching the fireworks... thank God, we did! :) It's very nice... hee, feel quite happy being able to see real live fireworks - very pretty!

Earlier today, I visited my dear shepherd. Peter's doing fine, apart from itchiness. Prayed for his leg to set well. Do keep him in prayer for a quick and trouble-free recovery!

*******
Shared with Peter what's been going on in my life the past few weeks. And thank God for him, he gave me a lot of good advice too. E.g. adjusting my expectations in some relationships... pray to God for strength and forgiveness with regards to a certain brother...

But in particular, he had this insight... I shared with him about my feeling quite moody the past few weeks, especially after I had completed the Christmas MM, and said that I felt like I've been going back to my old ways - my old inwards-lookingness, and I was afraid of being back to my old self.

He thought about it, and said, "Perhaps it's because you'll be moving over soon, and you're feeling a loss of direction, because you've completed everything you needed to complete."

I was initially very surprised - thought it wasn't relevant at all to what I was sharing... then hey yah... thank God so much... realised it's very true!

I thought about it - think yes, the worries that I've been having - e.g. keeping in touch with the dear friends I've made in the NUs ministry... the future... what will I be doing in the ministry... what will the working adults ministry be like...

Think all these feelings can be summed up in one word: LOSS OF DIRECTION.

It's like, you're now just counting the days to your "release date", your "ORD"... just marking time.

To be honest, I don't like that feeling at all.

When I began this final semester, I resolved to keep on running to the very last moment with all my might, to keep on serving to the very, very end... to keep outreaching and enfolding and what not... till the day I leave. (I really intended to do that...)

But now, I realised, it's simply not possible.

There comes a time when you have to slow down, and give way to the younger ones. There's a time when you simply can't do anything very much more - you've already completed all that you're supposed to do... and now you're just marking time, and waiting, waiting, and waiting.

And that waiting is probably one of the hardest parts. You've got a lot of free time, and you're considering how things will turn out when the actual crossing over starts. All sorts of wild thoughts run through your mind, and you start feeling worried. (I had some dreams about the sweet old times in the NUS ministry... my dreams just felt so melancholic. So moody, so wistful, so... nostalgic.)

But very thankful for Peter's astute "diagnosis". It helped me understand better why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I didn't realise that this loss of direction would happen to me like that... it just came upon me so suddenly!

In retrospect, I should have been more prepared. I mean, I've gone through so many transitions, so many moving-overs, from JC to NS, from NS to Adults and from Adults to NUS. And now, from NUS back to Adults, albeit a very different landscape now.

Still, it always takes time to adapt: "There is...a time to plant and a time to uproot." (Ecc 3:2b) Uprooting isn't easy, but it must be done. And I know that God is faithful - He will help me plant myself into the new ministry, and find my rooting there. :)

So later on, talked with Weizhu about this. He said he understands - he's been through this phase too before. He gave me this advice:

"Be active... instead of thinking about the old group... The best way to get out of this sense of loss is to just be active... to do things instead of laying back... instead of dwelling in the fact that i'm lost."


Wow... thank God for that advice. Hee, I think I know what I need to do now. Felt the sense of loss much more manageable after Peter's and Weizhu's advice. Praise God!

Wow! I just chanced upon this verse in BibleGateway.com...
“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

Think Daddy's really encouraging me that He is making a way in the desert... So I shall look ahead to the Promised Land that He has promised to me, and to all who love Him, through the eyes of faith in the years to come. Daddy's so faithful and good! :D

Amen! :)

*******
And finally, this verse that came to my mind really, really encourages me very much. It spoke to me a LOT. Hope this encourages you too, dear friend!

Hebrews 11:8-10,13-16
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.


Amen! :)