What if Blizzard made Lord of the Rings?

Hilarious... what if LOTR2 was written like a Warcraft game? Here's the script (edited by me)... Enjoy!

EXT. HELM'S DEEP

CRAIG PARKER and his ARMY OF ELVES show up to help. Everyone
is ready for an ENORMOUS ANIMATED BATTLE. TEN THOUSAND ORCS
arrive and storm the fortress.

                        BERNARD HILL
            OMG ORC RUSH!!!!

                         ORC LEADER
            LOL!

                        BERNARD HILL
            >BLEEP<! >BLEEP BLEEP< GUYS!!

* BERNARD_HILL HAS LEFT THE GAME

                         ORC LEADER
            ROFL! PWN3D!

Eventually, IAN MCKELLEN, KARL URBAN, and KARL'S ARMY WHICH
IS NOW A HUNDRED TIMES LARGER show up! They win!

The RIDICULOUS GROUP OF TALKING TREES totally destroys
CHRISTOPHER LEE'S BARRACKS. They win too, but they lose THE
BATTLE TO NOT RUIN THE MOVIE.

END

One Movie a Day

Seems that there's this blogger who's trying to watch one movie a day. Whoo! http://movie-a-day.blogspot.com/

Asia Media Festival

http://www.asiamediafestival.com/about_amf_2005calendar.htm#animaxtion

Think I'll go down to SITEX next Sunday with my shepherd. :)

Sweet Snacks May Slacken Stress

Scientific American: Sweet Snacks May Slacken Stress

Haha... sounds sweet, yeah? ;) LOL so maybe while we're mugging for exams we all should get some lollies too...

Diggs might just bury Slashdot

I'm a Slashdot reader (though not as avid as Weizhu). But saw this article, heh, think I'll go check it out soon. :)

http://www.wired.com/news/technology/0,1282,69568,00.html

Farewell, Peter Drucker.

You know this guy? He's one of the most famous management "gurus". I read a few of his essays - it's really insightful stuff. He passed away on 11 Nov this year.

Here's an eulogy by the Economist: Peter Drucker - Trusting the teacher in the grey-flannel suit

Smartwings

Taken from www.wired.com:

Smartwings
Humans often credit themselves with superior intellect, but we'd do well to learn humility in the face of nature's awesome complexity. In 2001, MIT researchers enabled LEDs to emit more light: They used a lattice of holes called a 2-D photonic crystal to help light get out, and Bragg reflectors to control the direction it's emitted. Now, two University of Exeter scientists have shown that swallowtail butterflies do the same thing. Patches on their wings produce brilliant fluorescence thanks to a layer of evenly spaced micro holes that act as a 2-D photonic crystal and prevent light from being trapped, and a lower layer that reflects fluorescent light like a Bragg reflector. "The way light is extracted from the butterfly's system is more than an analogy," one researcher told the BBC News. "It's all but identical in design to the LED."

Wow... God is really awesome. :D

Psalm 104:24
How many are your works, O LORD! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.

The Bad Joke Generator

The ultimate in lameness:
Bad Joke Generator

According to the blurb on the site, it says:

The Bad Joke Generator autogenerates terrible, terrible puns about any person or object or archetype, based on the keywords you give it. You need never buy another Christmas cracker again.

(See, Robert? I'm not that lame after all... this computer program beats even Jitsy, KC, Weizhu and me - all of us combined! LOL!)

Tried the following:
Subject: Guitar
Keywords: strings, chords, strumming

Results?
What's guitar's favourite film?
Lord of the Strings...

(all together now... *groan*)

For more lame guitar jokes...

Actually, think I figured out how this program works... it works by comparing the keywords with matching homonyms. It's not perfect, but it does get by.

Ingenious, isn't it... conceptually it's very simple, but think so far this seems to be the only pun generator around so far.

The Giving Tree

(http://shelsilverstein.com/html/books.html)

"Once there was a tree...
And she loved a little boy."

""The Giving Tree" begins, "Once there was a tree..." (Dots are Shel's) and goes on for 50 more pages with a simple tale, illustrated in graceful cartoon style by the author. There was a boy who played in the tree, gathering its leaves, swinging on its branches, eating its apples. When the boy grew older he lay in the shade of the tree with a girl and carved initials in a heart. Yet older, a young man, he took the tree's branches to build a house. As an old man he needed a boat to get away from it all, so the tree said cut me down and make a boat. So we have a stump. Along comes the boy, now an old, old man, and the ex-tree says, "Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest." And the tree was happy."

There's a lot of various responses at http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft9501/articles/givingtree.html

I've got a lot of thots on this, but in a nutshell, it's controversial because one can barely accept the tree's unconditional love and sacrifice... it's really surprising, 'cos I think the writer isn't a Christian.

So two categories of reactions:
- The tree is wrong to tolerate the boy; it should at the least rebuke the boy for his need.
- The tree is doing what is right... it's showing a love far far greater than we want to accept.

Think a lot of pple cannot stand the tree's action, saying that the boy should be rebuked or rejected by the tree... tink if they were right, they're afraid to admit that the boy is, in a very real way, a spitting image of themselves - that deep down, we are all like that boy, always receiving, but never giving anything in return - even to the point of chopping the tree down. But in the end, when the boy is an old man, and all he has is just the stump of the tree, even then, in love the tree calls the old man, "Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."

Think it touches me very much, because i look at the boy, and i see myself, always receiving but never bothering to give... yet, in a way, the boy has given - but given in a way that scars the tree, when he inscribes a heart onto the tree: "ME + T". And i'm reminded of someone who said, "Even our tears of repentance have to be washed clean in the blood of the Lamb." Think even the kindest acts that we did have to be washed clean in His blood... shed in unimaginable suffering.

Such is grace, so deep, that one cannot sit on the fence. One either accepts it gratefully, recognising that there is REALLY a love that is so great that it will accept even the worst sinner, or one totally rejects the grace and turns aside to judging the boy... because we do not want to believe that the boy is ourselves.

But what about the justice part?

No, in a way, the tree has not been wronged - deep down within, the boy keeps returning to the tree. And that is the tree's sole reward - the love of the boy.

(I'm reminded of Jesus' parable of the Prodigal Son when I write this down...)

And i thot abt it... a God who is so crazy about us, that He'd give all He has, even His own Son, His own life, His own glory and majesty, just to bring us to Him?

He's FAR nobler than i can ever be... i just receive and receive... and when I give to Him, I still stumble in my giving... even my best acts of righteousness are filthy rags in His eyes...

and all He wants is me?

But one thing that I must do - no matter what happens - is keep returning to God. For all He wants is all of me...

Timothy Jackson, Assistant Professor of Religious Studies at Stanford University, (http://www.firstthings.com/ftissues/ft9501/articles/givingtree.html) writes:
"With God we have to take the active, conscious step of asking for help; the boy asks primarily for things, but he too must voice his vulnerability in order to be cared for. For all its gifting of itself, however, the tree is not untouched; it also receives from the boy. Even as a stump, the tree is literally marked by the boy's love. The carved heart with "M.E. + T." inside endures across all changes, simultaneously a scar and a sign of love. Love bears all things and it never ends, even if life does. We must think the tree happy, not like the absurd Sisyphus but like the Suffering Servant."

Jesus said in John 10:11, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."

And another thought. I'm thinking about the love of my parents. Think the writer's intention was to highlight a parent's love for his/her children. Though our parents are not perfect (who is, anyway?), they've really shown love to us in one way or another.

Just now, my dad just called to see how I am. I told him I'm studying in school. Then my handphone went dead (low battery). To be honest, I wasn't really thinking of calling him back... then I thought about my parents. My parents have given so much to me - given me allowance when I needed it... bought food and drink for me... rejoiced in my birth... still took care of me when i was rude and rebellious to them... and even up to now, I haven't given them much in return. I really thank God for them. And i really don't know how to repay them - and i don't think i will ever be able to repay them for the love that they've shown to me. It's not a transaction... it's a relationship... it's not a loan... it's a gift. and I think the right thing to do, in God's eyes, is to give them the gift of love in return.

So i'm gonna call my dad (as soon as i get my hp battery charged).

Hilarious! XD

> KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST
>
>
> TEACHER: Why are you late?
> WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
> TEACHER: What sign
> WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
> _____________
>
> TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
> CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
> _____________
>
> TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"
> JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
> TEACHER: No, that's wrong
> JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
> _____________
>
> TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
> SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
> TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
> ______________
>
> TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
> GEORGE: Here it is!
> TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
> CLASS: George!
> ______________
>
> TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't
have
> ten years ago.
> WILLIE: Me!
> ______________
>
> TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
> TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
> ______________
>
> TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
> ELLEN: I is...
> TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
> ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
> _____________
>
> TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
> JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."
> _____________
>
> TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down
> his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing
> it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
> JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
> ______________
>
> TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
> prayers before eating?
> SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
> _______________
>
> TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
> exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
> DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
> ______________
>
> TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
> talking when people are no longer interested?
> PUPIL: A teacher.
>

What If Dr. Seuss Wrote Technical Manuals?

(Specially posted for Weizhu and Si Seng)

One day I was net-surfin',
Doing my researchin'
When all at once I saw
As nifty as a jackdaw:

Some really whoozy sites
With many fine lines in sight!

Oh, I love reading Dr. Seuss' books,
How simply great they look!
With witty rhyming lines,
They sound _just_ so fine!

************
Bits Bytes Chips Clocks
Bits in bytes on chips in box.
Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
Chips in box on ether-docks.

Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come.

Look, sir. Look, sir. Read the book, sir.
Let's do tricks with bits and bytes, sir.
Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
You can make a quick trick chip stack.
You can make a quick trick clock stack.

And here's a new trick on the scene.
Bits in bytes for your machine.
Bytes in words to fill your screen.

Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
Try to say this by the clock, sir.

Clocks on chips tick.
Clocks on chips tock.
Eight byte bits tick.
Eight bit bytes tock.
Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say....

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame sir!
We'll find you another game sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

(Taken from http://www.seuss.org/seuss/seuss.byte.html)
************